DEFEATING DIVORCE: When Christians Choose Divorce | Love By Faith with Kyle & Selina Almodovar #093

We walk through the hard reality of choosing divorce, and what happens after choosing divorce. 

From safety and legal steps to grief, co‑parenting, church dynamics, and how to cling to God when you feel abandoned. The aim is simple and honest: protect your life, tell the truth about pain, and rebuild with hope.

• why we address divorce during holidays
• safety first in abusive situations
• legal process basics and costs
• identity rebuilding and new routines
• breakup buddies, therapy, church care
• co‑parenting without using kids as messengers
• grief stages and what to expect over a year
• Kintsugi as a model for faithful repair
• trusting God when you are angry and tired
• practical resources and community support

Order the Relationship Renovation Workshop if that is something that you want to use to strengthen your new year and your new season as a married couple. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Setting The Stage: Divorce Series
• 1:05 Why Tackle Divorce During Holidays
• 4:36 Prayer And Opening Hearts
• 6:22 Worst-Case Scenarios And Safety First
• 9:15 Grief, Identity, And Rebuilding
• 10:40 Legal Steps And New Routines
• 12:20 Community, Counseling, And Breakup Buddies
• 13:03 Church, Territory, And Finding A Home
• 14:15 Playbook Interlude: Relationship Resources
• 15:22 Co-Parenting Without Crossfire
• 18:23 The Grief Cycle And Kintsugi
• 22:14 Support The Ministry Appeal
• 23:39 Where Is God When You’re Hurting
• 27:25 Seasons Of Healing And Timeframes
• 28:25 Cross, Separation, And Restoration
• 31:52 Healing Takes Process And Patience
• 33:34 Final Prayer And Blessing
• 36:20 Closing, Workshop Reminder, Hopes

Transcript

Kyle Almodovar: 0:00

What happens when you decide to get divorced? I've tried 85 times and have failed 86 times, and I am just done.

Selina Almodovar: 0:10

I know you guys are in a very cheerful spirit, but some of you guys who are listening and watching, you might not be, and this might be the episode for you. We're not perfect people. By any means. But by trusting in God, we learned what it takes to build a friendship, a relationship, and marriage that has stood the test of time.

SPEAKER_00: 0:29

With a keeping it real style, we're gonna talk to you about everything that we've been through, are going through, and have overcome all by learning how to lean on God and each other.

Selina Almodovar: 0:42

In order to help you learn how to love by faith.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:00

Hi love.

Selina Almodovar: 1:01

How are you?

Kyle Almodovar: 1:02

I am heavy. Why? With uh it's just been such a rush of a season.

Selina Almodovar: 1:08

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:08

And with all the stuff and lack of sleep and this hard topic. Like seriously, it's been it's a challenge to talk about this.

Selina Almodovar: 1:17

Question. What were we thinking when we decided let's talk about divorce during holiday season?

Kyle Almodovar: 1:24

When we prayed through this, it was I think it was because the people need to hear it now. This is where it gets hard when you're forced to be in that situation and you're hurting through these topics of divorce and feeling all these really heavy feelings. Like you said in the the last episode or two episodes ago, where you said, you know, this is my last Christmas with this person. Like I think we s we had that emotion going into this, and we wanted to help people, so they weren't necessarily on that brink the whole time. And they were able to see the joy of it and do something to reconnect because you got the new year coming, and you can reset and and take another go and polish it off. And I just I feel for people who have who have my heart goes out to people who are falling out of love and who are getting bored and not taking steps to fix it, and I just pray that they catch this episode or catch the previous episodes in the series and are able to really heal together with their spouse.

Selina Almodovar: 2:26

Welcome to Love by Faith. This is Kyle and Selena Almodovar. We're so glad that you decided to join us for the last week of the year. And for you guys who are listening for the first time, welcome. We welcome you. We appreciate you being here. For those of you guys who've been with us all year long, we appreciate you guys as well. And as you just heard from Kyle, we are doing some heavy work here. And I I to your point, Kyle, a lot of the talk in this Christmas holiday season is just like avoid burnout and you know how to communicate so that everything flows, like how to overcome the stress of the holiday. But no one's really tapping into, like you said, this very serious thing of like when it gets hard, it really magnifies those thoughts of quitting or deserting or dishonoring and walking away. And the temptation that we talked about in the last series just really intensifies those thoughts and those actions. And so, yeah, thank you for reminding me because you know, I know you guys are in a very cheerful spirit, but some of you guys who are listening and watching, you might not be. And this might be the episode for you. All series long, we've talked about, you know, why Christian couples would get divorced. We talked about the biblical grounds of divorce, we talked about um what happens when you're on the brink of divorce. We introduced our beautiful, lovely workshop that perhaps you guys can take. And for the record, this is not just for people who are going through divorce. This is for couples who want to just avoid it altogether. Think of it as like a continuing education credit that you can take to really solidify your new year and your new season going into that. Yes. But today we want to bring to you guys a topic that's not really talked about and probably needs to be a little more open because it's never talked about.

Kyle Almodovar: 4:26

Yeah, we're going one step deeper, I think.

Selina Almodovar: 4:28

We're going one step deeper, and we're gonna end this year and this series, and hopefully, not the discussion. Hopefully, we'll have more discussions about this, but we're gonna end this series with this topic, and that is what happens when you decide to get divorced. Because that happens. There are couples who have done it all, have tried it all, have prayed, have waited, and this is the best decision for them. And there are Christian couples who get divorced, and what happens there? Where where does that leave you? And we want to talk about that today.

Kyle Almodovar: 5:07

You know, a lot of episodes, every episode, we close in prayer. I wanna I want to open this one in prayer. Okay. Because it's it's just we need the Holy Spirit in this conversation and in this moment, and people who are here with a heart for what do I do? Welcome the Holy Spirit in. Lord, we thank you for this day. We thank you for life in our lungs and our hearts beating. We thank you that that your joy is unending, Lord, that your love is perfect. Worldly love, human love might not be perfect, but your love is perfect, Lord. Help us today as we navigate this this really hard topic, and just give us words that that fall on good soil, Lord. Give us the right words that speak with your heart, Lord. Yes. May we get out of our own way and let your Holy Spirit just have its way in this place and in this time. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Selina Almodovar: 6:01

Amen.

Kyle Almodovar: 6:01

Amen.

Selina Almodovar: 6:02

Thank you.

Kyle Almodovar: 6:02

I just I just I have so much emotion in this episode, and I can't I don't know, I can't shake it because I know there's people hurting and who are like, all right, I'm done. I've tried 85 times and have failed 86 times, and I am just done.

Selina Almodovar: 6:20

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 6:21

And I'll start with what I think is the the the beginning. If you're getting abused, if you're dealing with just the worst case scenario, get get away. Get out and and run.

Selina Almodovar: 6:32

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 6:33

And go where you have true where you have love, where you have family. Yes. Find a church, find a pastor, find a a family support group, something that will support you. Yes. In the beginning, right? We're starting there at the worst case scenario. Yes.

Selina Almodovar: 6:47

If even in those worst-case scenarios, Kyle, it's still hard to get divorced. Yes. Because you do not get married expecting for it to go like this.

SPEAKER_00: 6:58

Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 6:59

You don't sign up for marriage, ever assuming that it's going to turn to this.

SPEAKER_00: 7:07

Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 7:07

And so there are people who are feeling very low. And there are people who probably feel like they're failures. And there's people out there who probably feel like they're failing God. They're failing their family. They're failing their future expectations. There are people right now who are probably confused because they're like, I thought I made the right choice when I said I do.

Kyle Almodovar: 7:29

I thought I, I thought I I thought I heard the Lord leading me to this.

Selina Almodovar: 7:33

I thought I checked all the boxes and I thought we did this all the right way. And how did we get here? So there's so much confusion. And this is exactly why the Lord hates divorce. Not the people, but the the act, because it breaks so much of a person and of the plans that God had and of the legacy that God was going to use with that. And we're saying all this not to put you to shame and not to be like, oh, great, now you have to deal with this. But we are trying to just show you that we understand where you're coming from.

SPEAKER_04: 8:11

Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 8:11

And it's not an easy place to navigate, but with hope in the Lord, you can get out of it. You know, and to some people, it looks like ground zero. It looks like there's just total destruction everywhere. You have no idea how you're even going to clean this up or pick up pieces or rebuild again. There is a lot of um emotional toil that comes from this, from depression to loneliness to even just identity crisis of like who I who am I now that I'm not married? You know, I had this shared partnership, but now I'm single. Now I have to be pure again. And now I have to, you know, abstain from, you know, intimacy again. Now I have to start this whole dating process all over again, you know. And it it just gets very uh tricky and it gets very challenging for someone who is so low in their walk and in their in their life that the enemy just doesn't stop. It's like you don't catch a break, and it's really hard for people at this stage.

Kyle Almodovar: 9:20

I know we have a global audience, but uh in the US, for where we have the most understanding, the the first basic is you're gonna have to get a lawyer and you're gonna have to go through because it's a legal process, and you're gonna have to go through, unfortunately, a legal process to get to the other side of this, and that's not gonna be easy, and you're gonna have to find someone, it's gonna cost a bunch of money, and it's gonna it's just gonna be hard. And our heart goes out to you, and we just pray that you find that that right person who just can be compassionate and is not just some money hungry person, but they're really out there to help people and to help couples get on the other side of this, and so that that's the basic, right? Is you start there because it's gonna be a legal transaction, and from there, all those things you said about rebuilding who the person is, yeah, is is where you go, is you start that rebuilding as fast as you can, and and understanding your identity, understanding your calling, understanding what the new you looks like, because it is a new you on the other side of that. There's no question of that. Yeah, there's gonna be new routines that you're gonna have to figure out, new relationships that you're gonna have to develop, new friends, because some of your friends from the from the married life are gonna be back there because that's that's just what they were. They were friends from your married days, and that's that's hard, but that's okay. And there's gonna be friends who stick through all the way through. Yes, and that is gonna be huge to lean on. Yes. So these new relationships are gonna be a great basis for you to move forward and going to men's and women's groups alone, you know, all men and all women, to get that camaraderie, to get that that brotherhood or sisterhood around you, and having a real deep partner that you can go through all this hardship with, someone who's really like an accountability partner, even deeper than that, yes, but yes, a breakup buddy is what we used to talk about. Yes, exactly.

Selina Almodovar: 11:13

I mention that all the time in my ministry with the girls. It's like you need a breakup buddy, somebody who is signing up to hear your emotional stuff, to hear your process. Yes, even if your mindset takes you through the process over and over and over, and you keep talking about it and talking about it. I feel like people go through this, this, it's like a loop. It's it's just it replays in their head over and over and over again. And then they get to the point where they don't want to talk about it anymore because they are projecting like this person doesn't want to hear this anymore. Like I'm becoming annoying, they're avoiding me. Like, I just I'm not gonna talk about it. And so if they're not talking about it, they're just internalizing it, they're suppressing it, and it just grows into it, it festers into this this ideation of, you know, this is what I believe I am, and this is who I believe I am, and this is what I believe has happened, but none of it is just it it just keeps playing, you know what I mean? Like it turns into its own thing.

Kyle Almodovar: 12:12

When you internalize for so long, it's like that it's like in the Looney Tunes when the tumbleweed is blowing through and it just keeps gathering all this stuff and all this stuff and all the and then it's a huge yeah, it's it snowballs and it avalanches and it it just eats you up. Yes, and having a breakup buddy partner to go through this with it could be a counselor, yes, it could be a therapist. That that was my next step. You made me to it is yes, let that breakup buddy be there, but there's also a professional help that you can go through to process. I think that churches who have great connections will have resources for this, they will have a way to point you to a good counselor, a good Christian counselor who is going to help you rebuild internally so that you're not just laying around feeling like broken goods or damaged goods and see the hope on the other side of this.

Selina Almodovar: 13:02

What about for the couples who get divorced and they feel like they cannot go back to that church because their ex has more territory in it than they do? So now they feel like they've been exiled from a space that used to be safe and now they have to restart there. So please, when you're in this state, do not consider what your ex is doing and where your ex is moving. Don't consider their steps. You have to think about you, you have to put yourself first because you have to take care of yourself, you have to pick yourself up, you have to heal from the inside out. And so, what steps are gonna be beneficial for you? And if that means that you have to find a new church home, go to the spaces, like Kyle said, that have a firm team that can help you in this process. Don't go because it's down the street and you know it's away from your ex. Like if that if your home church is the space to go to, then make the arrangements so that you can go there and heal properly. Hey everyone, we hope that you're enjoying this episode. And right now, we want to just take a small minute to introduce to you the latest thing that we created to help you elevate your relationship and take it to the next level. It's called the Love by Faith playbook.

Kyle Almodovar: 14:31

Every good coach knows they have to have winning plays. We went through our foundation series and we pulled out some of the best winning plays and created strategies for you guys. Plays like how to be better financially, how to do ministry together, how to be better romantically, how to be better family life. We went through all these different areas from the foundation series and put it together in a playbook.

Selina Almodovar: 14:51

So grab your Love by Faith playbook today. You can use the link in the description below, enter it. And the good news about this is that it is a living document. So you download it one time, and every single month, we are gonna be updating this document to give you fresh new plays to help you and your partner love by faith and create a winning season. Go ahead and get your love by faith playbook now, and let's get back into this episode.

Kyle Almodovar: 15:22

That's such a striking question because even coming in this episode, I didn't consider that. Oh, and and like I thought about like, oh, we got kids that we have to figure out. Yes. We have home life and where do we live that we have to figure out?

Selina Almodovar: 15:34

Yes, it's it's the safe spaces are now infiltrated.

Kyle Almodovar: 15:38

Right, because you shared all of this for so long, I think it goes back to to relationships. Thank God that that as Christians we've developed friendships outside of our our home church. Yeah. To where if even if like God forbid something were to happen and you were to be gone from me, yeah, and the Lord call you up, you know, unexpectedly, I would I'm you know, you have those other places that you can go where you know other people, other believers, other churches around, you know. I think it's um that is the way to go is to lean into those friendships to to help you. And and hey, maybe it's a it's a call to your pastor, like, hey, Pastor Jeff, like I love our church, but we're going through this divorce right now, yeah, and I need to find a new place. Pastor Jeff, where can I go? Yes. Or what can I do to to really keep my connection and and I I feel like I have to go to another church. And so being transparent with those people around you who God has put in authority, pastors are people that God have put in authority to to guide you and to give you comfort and to give you the the the way to go.

Selina Almodovar: 16:44

Yes. I I want to say, in my experience when my parents got divorced, I was young, so I didn't see a whole lot. And maybe I did, but I was too young to perceive it. Didn't understand it. Yeah, you know what I mean. There are parents out there who now have to co-parent, and you're gonna have to interact with this person who hurt you, and you're gonna see this person parent differently than you, and that's gonna cause strife, that's gonna cause um offense, it's gonna grow bitterness. You know, I I always remember when I was a child, if I went to my dad's house, my mom and I would return to my mom's house, and my mom would say, Did your dad say anything about me? Or then I would go to my dad's house, did your mom say anything about me? And it was like we became this bridge of hearing their hurt and then retaliating with more hurt. Like, well, tell your dad I said this, tell your mom I said this. And then we would have to like deliver these messages. And so if you are, if if children are involved, they're going through it too.

SPEAKER_00: 17:50

Right.

Selina Almodovar: 17:51

They might not understand it to your level, they might not feel as personally wounded as you did because there is a different level of love that was shared and has been broken. But please believe your children feel it too. And so I don't know if that means family counseling. I don't know if that means you and your ex now have to get into a room and put on your big kid pants and figure out like how are you gonna address this and how are you guys gonna co-parent peacefully so that your children are not receiving the the darts that you're throwing at each other because we get caught in that, in that um, what is it, when you throw things and they get caught in the bypass of crossfire? They get caught in the crossfire, like the children. The children begin to get caught in the crossfire of you guys. And the hardest part, I think, when it comes to it, is just you're so hurt, and hurt can turn, can go either way. Like it can become carelessness, it can become bitterness and hatred for a person. And it's hard to do that when you're a parent and a child loves that same person that you hate. Yeah, you know, or when you have friends and your friends are like, I totally am fine. Um, I want to be your friend, we can still be friends, but then you find out that they are also friends with you, the person that hurt you. Like your hurt does not often translate into other people's hurt. Like people are still gonna treat your ex like the person that they know and the relationship that they have, whether it's a child who loves their father or a friend who loves their friend, and you're gonna feel some kind of way about that because you have such an immense hurt in your heart for this one person. And I think that's the hardest part is you're feeling so hurt and you're feeling so wounded that it may it causes the isolation and it causes offense and it causes carelessness. And then all of a sudden you're you're Back into the dating field before you're ready to be dating because you just want to get back at it, or you just want to take your mind off of it, or you just want to show them that you are worth something, and this person's treating me a thousand times better than you ever had, but it's never about that person, it's really about the ex because you're trying to get back at this person, and it all goes back to hurt. Right.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:23

It's it's gonna be the full cycle of the of the grieving process.

Selina Almodovar: 20:28

It is definitely a grief.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:32

It's gonna be the anger, it's gonna be the denial. Yes, it's going to be what's the next thing?

Selina Almodovar: 20:37

It's denial, anger, bargain.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:40

Bargain. You're gonna rationalize with yourself. I just have to get better, I just have to eat less and get a better figure so that I can find someone who values me. I just have to to work harder, I just have to ignore this and you're rationalizing all these things that you think you have to do, but you don't. You don't. You have to just go to God and lean into it and let Him restore you. Let His Word restore you. Let that word of life rebuild you, because it will, it can. Even if if your heart was broken to the to the worst possible way, God can restore it, God can rebuild it absolutely through faith, through trust, through surrender, and then you can get on the other side. I don't know if I hit all five steps.

Selina Almodovar: 21:24

You didn't hit the five steps. So the fourth step is depression. Be ready for that. The fifth step is acceptance.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:31

I hate depression. Usually it's such a lie, it's such a such a just you're so valuable when you're even when you're going through this, there is such good on the other side. I love Japan, I'm changing Japanese Kinsuki.

Selina Almodovar: 21:48

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:49

The that's the the art of repairing broken pottery with gold.

Selina Almodovar: 21:52

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:53

And this is the time in this stage where you're feeling like the broken pottery to start picking up the pieces and remembering what your identity is and who you are called to be, and let that be the glue, the gold glue that puts together the art so that it's built back stronger and better than it ever was in the first place.

Selina Almodovar: 22:12

What's up, Love by Faith family? We want to say thank you so much for your support in watching and engaging in every single episode that we have put out thus far. We could not have made it this far without you.

Kyle Almodovar: 22:23

That's right. And we want to grow more. We want to create new resources, we want to increase our reach, and we want to provide more for you guys. But the only way to make that happen is for you to come alongside and partner with us to sow a seed into this ministry to help it grow.

Selina Almodovar: 22:39

Because at the end of the day, it's not about getting new equipment or putting out new resources, it's about expanding the kingdom. It's about creating godly marriages. And we can do that if you partner alongside us with your financial support. There's a link below that you can click on. You can contribute one time or you can partner with us on a monthly basis and help us sow a seed so that love by faith can continue to grow and reach the masses.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:06

If you want to see this ministry grow, follow the link below and thank you. We thank you for giving and for being just part of this journey with us.

Selina Almodovar: 23:14

So that together we can love by faith.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:18

Love by faith, y'all. That's not a joke.

Selina Almodovar: 23:24

Love by faith is a joke.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:25

Love by faith, y'all is not a joke.

Selina Almodovar: 23:27

That's not our tagline.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:28

It's a catchphrase.

Selina Almodovar: 23:30

Can you please just use the link and click below and we would be grateful. In Jesus' name.

unknown: 23:36

Amen.

Selina Almodovar: 23:37

I have two things that I want to say.

SPEAKER_04: 23:39

Bring it.

Selina Almodovar: 23:39

Um, you you kind of already touched on it in that, you know, God has to be in the middle of this somewhere. Yes. Where is God in this? Yes. And you might be, you know, going through a divorce or deciding that divorce is what you're gonna do, and you're you're feeling scared, and you're also feeling angry, and you're also getting those hints of depression and and the abandonment, right? And all of these emotions and all of these feelings, like, yes, you're feeling it from your spouse, from your ex, you know, but you're also at a at a very deeper level, you're also feeling it from God. You're feeling angry with God, you're feeling hurt by God, you're feeling abandoned by God, you're feeling wounded by God. And it might cause you to not want to seek Him, right? It might cause you to be like, I'm I'm good on that for a minute. Like, I need a minute because I trusted in the Lord, I leaned on the Lord, I prayed to the Lord, and this is what still happened. And for people who are there, if you're there, number one, it's okay to be mad at God. You're allowed to be mad at God. Like God has God put on human form in the in Jesus so that he can feel every single emotional toil that we feel. Like he has compassion for us because he has gone through it himself. Jesus was hurt, Jesus was abandoned, Jesus was afflicted, Jesus was wounded, Jesus was betrayed by the people he loved, by his bride, right? Jesus knows what it feels like to get divorced. He knows what it feels like to get divorced because sin divorced it, right? And that's what made him come back and overcome it for good. And so I say all that to say, like, even in your feelings, go to him, in your feelings, go to him. Because no matter what, even though the character of your spouse changed, God's character never changes, and he is still good. He's a he's a just God and he's still good. Like, you know, the sin from the divorce is is manifesting and it's coming out, and it's you're in it, you're in the thick of it. God is still good, and he sees that sin and he's side-eyeing that sin, and he doesn't like that sin, and he knows that you are not meant to stay here, and you will not die here, and you still have plans and purpose, and you still have goodness coming your way, and restoration is still to be had, and he just needs you to hold on just a little bit longer, even though it feels like there's nothing to hold on to. Hold on to him, even if you can't grasp on his hand, you hold his you held his garment on your hands and knees, you hold his garment, you go through the crowd and you grab it because he is still good. He is, and you might not see it now, and you can even ask him. You can say, Show me that you're good, God. Show me that you're good. And I'm not saying you gotta have God prove you wrong, he's not a genie and he's gonna come in your command, but hold him to his word because his word never fails. He is faithful. The second thing I want to say, real quick, is we're going through these emotions and we're going through this season. Generally, as a in in the relationship experience that I've had, you know, talking about this for so long, generally it's gonna take an entire year. You're gonna have to go through all four seasons before you start to come out of this season. It might take longer, but generally, you have to go through all four seasons because every season that you have, you're gonna just replay and relive what happened before the big thing happened. Okay. So we're at Christmas time right now. It's gonna take you an entire year and getting to Christmas next year for you to be like, man, last year, this is where I was.

Kyle Almodovar: 27:37

I thought I was gonna make it.

Selina Almodovar: 27:38

Last year, this is where I was. You know, your birthday, man, last year at my birthday, this is what happened. You know, you're gonna keep replaying what happened that caused you to come up with this decision. And so once you get past this one season, this year season, then you come out on the other side of like, okay, now it's just, you know, now my memories have changed because that person was no longer in the equation. Right. Now my memories have changed because that hurt was no longer there. Now my memories have changed because now I'm I'm betting on myself. And now I leaned on God. I'm leaning, I seen the goodness of God in the last memory that I had. And so we I'm ready.

Kyle Almodovar: 28:18

Whenever you're done, I'm okay.

Selina Almodovar: 28:20

I'm buckling in and go for it. Go land the plane for us.

Kyle Almodovar: 28:25

Jesus on the cross screaming at God. Oh, oh, oh, oh Jesus on the cross screaming at God, why have you forsaken me? Why have you forsaken me? Was his divorce moment. Was divorced from the Father, was there just depleted, done, done, destroyed. Felt like I'm sure all his ministry was a waste, and I'm just here to to die and be just painfully destroyed.

Selina Almodovar: 28:58

Can we explain why he said that for people who don't understand it?

Kyle Almodovar: 29:02

Because in that moment he had all the world sin on him, all the future sin, all the past sin, all the present sin on him as he's dying and bleeding out on the cross. Yes. And he's at this deepest moment of despair and desperation and just cries, Why have you forsaken me? And he goes, goes to death to be not just be done. You're not just done when you're divorced. You're not finished. Because just like three days later, he rose and came back and was fresh and renewed and restored. There's no guarantee how long your three days is going to be, but you will come back and you will bounce back just like Jesus did out of the grave in the fresh clothes. The scars will still be there. Yeah, the hurt will still have happened. Jesus ascended with the scars in his hands and feet and his side. But he ascended. He came back in glory, he came back shining, and you you can come back on the other side of that divorce in glory and shining and better and fulfilling the whole calling that God called you to. Jesus didn't leave out any of his calling because he went through that despair, that bloody, disgusting moment on the cross. He didn't he didn't lose any of his power, he didn't lose any of his ministry. He came back and fulfilled all of it. And you will too through this season. It's it's it sucks and it's not gonna be easy. But on the other side, God will get you through. God will get you through every step of the way.

Selina Almodovar: 30:39

One of um the details that I I wanted you to touch on with this is if God is always with us, then why did God why did the father leave Jesus? Like why, why? And you said because there was so much sin. But if God is always with us, then why did he leave? And it's because there was so much sin and there was so much darkness, like God can't be in the same, God can't be in the presence of the sin and darkness. He is so pure, and the father is so holy that he cannot be with all of that there, okay? And that's why he had to remove himself because it was too dark, it was too sinful, it was he can't be in that presence.

Kyle Almodovar: 31:20

And how does that apply to the divorce?

Selina Almodovar: 31:21

The it applies to the divorce because with Jesus being on the cross and bearing it and overcoming all of that sin and overcoming all of that darkness, it means that the father will never leave again. Got it, the father will never abandon and never desert again. Do you hear that?

Kyle Almodovar: 31:41

You're not abandoned, you're not deserted going through this.

Selina Almodovar: 31:43

Yes, exactly. And because God took it and because Jesus overcame it and he still has the wounds and he came, like you said, in all of his shining and glory. Now, when the father sees you in your brokenness, he doesn't see your brokenness, he doesn't see your divorce, he sees Jesus. He sees the other side of it already, he sees Jesus in you, and he can welcome that, and he will never go away from that because Jesus is now in his new state. And with him being inside of you and you holding on to that faith, you're constantly always going, you're never going to be away from the Father.

Kyle Almodovar: 32:24

The wounds you see today are what he already sees as scars. Yes. The wounds you see today, he already sees as scars and as healed. And this the connection to him will get you through all of that healing. The connection to fellow believers, people that you can really, really count on as family will help you get through it, and and you will come out stronger and better on the other side.

Selina Almodovar: 32:52

It will take time. It will take a lot of healing. There's a process with healing, just as there's a process with grieving, just as there's a process with learning yourself again, just as there's a process with learning how to date when the time comes. Just as there's a process of learning how to peacefully love your ex if you have children and if you have to have them as a part of your life for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_00: 33:21

Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 33:21

Right? Like it might not be the way the story ends, but it's just a chapter of a story that you didn't see coming. And God can help you through all of those things.

SPEAKER_04: 33:33

Yes.

Selina Almodovar: 33:33

And I think the biggest takeaway that we can wrap this episode and series up with is when people hurt you, when people break, God remains unbroken. God remains the glue that can keep you together. Yes. And so we're asking and we're praying with you guys that if you're here, if this is where you're at, God is gonna be that key. He's gonna be that glue. He's gonna be the gold that molds these broken pieces back together. It's with his living water that turns that dust back into life form, the dust that was dis that disintegrated you into a million pieces. He's going to turn it back into something that's gonna be moldable and beautiful again.

Kyle Almodovar: 34:19

Amen. Amen. I have nothing left in this episode. It's it's hard, and we're gonna be there with you through it. You can always reach out to us. We'd be glad to help guide you, point you in the right direction, and give as much comfort and and just Holy Spirit help that we can.

Selina Almodovar: 34:38

And as we mentioned before, this doesn't mean that this is the end of our divorce conversation.

SPEAKER_04: 34:44

Right.

Selina Almodovar: 34:44

There is so much stuff that we need to talk about that happens after divorce. Like as a divorced Christian, how do you love by faith? You know, and we want to have those conversations because again, nobody talks about this, nobody talks about what it's like to start over and to start over containing the faith that you need to love again. So we want to keep that conversation going, but we are gonna wrap up this series of defeating divorce, and we hope that this helps you defeat divorce, bro. We hope this helps you defeat divorce. If divorce is there, then we hope that the divorce doesn't defeat you. Yeah, you can still overcome your divorce by not losing yourself from this. If this was the choice you had to make.

Kyle Almodovar: 35:36

Can you close us in prayer, please?

Selina Almodovar: 35:40

Lord, we thank you for today. We thank you for this season, we thank you for the series that you place on our heart. We feel the heaviness of it, God. We feel the attack of it, the enemy trying to break what you have put together. And Lord, we just ask that you are with these people, that you lift the heaviness from their eyes, from their hearts, from their mind. We pray that you will give them peace. We pray that you would give them direction. You would give them relationships, you will remind them of your goodness in whatever season or whatever stage of this series they are in, Father, that you would show them your presence in their life, that they would be built on hope and of a sound mind and not of temptations or lies or hurt or pain, Father God. We pray that your evidence of goodness is made in their in their season, wherever they face any trials or difficulties. And we pray that people who are listening and watching this episode would be reminded to turn to you and whatever state that they're in, whether that's angry, confused, hurt, just abandoned, we pray that they would come to you, God, that they would come to you before they go to anyone else, before they go to any social media source or any person, Lord, that they would come to you and they would find you in the midst of this mess. And we lift you up and we thank you for giving us the opportunity to have this conversation with your loved ones. In Jesus' name, amen.

Kyle Almodovar: 37:15

Amen. Amen. Thank you for joining us at Love by Faith. Remember to like, share, and subscribe if you're watching on YouTube, Five Star Reviews, if you're on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. We thank you for being with us. We hope you had a great Christmas and wish you a happy new year and pray that 2026 is full of blessings for you and your family.

Selina Almodovar: 37:36

Don't forget to order the Relationship Renovation Workshop if that is something that you want to use to strengthen your new year and your new season as a married couple.

Kyle Almodovar: 37:47

We thank you. We give God the glory for all of it, and we'll see you in 2026. Love by faith, y'all.

Selina Almodovar: 37:53

Love by faith, y'all. See you next time. Bye-bye. It's a lot, it's a lot.

SPEAKER_01: 38:01

I thank God for the Holy Spirit guiding this conversation and this series.

Selina Almodovar: 38:07

I pray that this um marriage that we share would break generational curses so that our children, our children's children, and our children's children's children would never have to endure the hardship of divorce. And I pray for all the divorced friends we have, you know, because they are they are out there, and I'm sure that the enemy did a number on them. Right. And I pray that that is not their testimony, that that is not the only thing that comes out of their life and their legacy. Right.

SPEAKER_01: 38:41

Let them let them glorify God on the other side of it. Through the whole thing.

Selina Almodovar: 38:46

Yeah.