TEMPTATION: Why Couples Are Tempted to Skip Church | Love By Faith with Kyle & Selina Almodovar #087

We confront the real reasons why couples are tempted to skip church and offer honest, practical ways to rebuild trust, rhythm, and community without pretending church is perfect. From burnout and offense to pride and preference, we point back to grace, ownership, and shared responsibility.

• why church exists as a body, not an event
• healthy vs emotionally unhealthy church cultures
• who leads the family to church and why it’s shared
• seasons of weakness and how to cover a spouse
• offense, burnout, and serving from an empty cup
• the limits of Sunday-only relationships
• petty but real preferences about worship and teaching
• discernment vs cynicism when judging hypocrisy
• how to show up ready to serve and connect
• simple questions that spark real community
• building weekly practices that make Sunday overflow

If skipping church is something that you (or your partner, or both!) are struggling with, we encourage you to take advantage of our latest FREE download within the LOVE BY FAITH COUPLE'S PLAYBOOK! 

Asking how to spiritually connect and how to lovingly serve can both become a catalyst for the return of a church setting in your relationship or the start of one.

Chapters

• 0:00 Setting The Table: Temptation Series
• 3:30 Why Church Matters Beyond Sunday
• 4:40 Emotionally Healthy vs. Unhealthy Churches
• 6:00 Who Leads The Family To Church
• 10:20 Pregnancy, Illness, And Staying Spiritually Covered
• 13:40 Community Care That Breaks Isolation
• 14:17 The Love By Faith Playbook (Ad)
• 14:30 Tease: Practical Reasons We Skip
• 15:24 Offense, Burnout, And Empty Cups
• 18:40 Sunday-Only Relationships Don’t Grow
• 20:00 Petty Reasons: Worship And Favorites
• 21:00 Laziness, Sports, And Slumps
• 22:30 Judging Hypocrisy And Misreads
• 24:00 Partner With Us To Grow (Ad)
• 25:20 Church As Hospital, Not Showcase
• 26:00 Become The Solution, Not The Critic
• 27:30 Make Sunday Count All Week
• 29:00 “I Am The Church” Pride Checked
• 31:00 Community, Kids, And Mission
• 33:00 Pray, Bless, And Close
• 34:00 Help A Spouse Back To Church
• 35:00 Free Couples Playbook + Ratings CTA
• 36:00 Final Thanks And End Credits Fun

Transcript

Selina Almodovar: 0:00

The temptation to skip church. I just want to show. Because not every church is emotionally healthy.

Kyle Almodovar: 0:06

I've been going all these Sundays. I don't have any fill in the blank to show for it. Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 0:10

I'm gonna be super petty about this, okay? But I know there's super petty people out there who are listening, they're gonna be like, ooh, that hurt. People skip church because we're not perfect people by any means, but by trusting in God, we learned what it takes to build a friendship, a relationship, and marriage that has stood the test of time. With a keeping it real style, we're gonna talk to you about everything, everything that we've been through, are going through, and have overcome all by learning how to lean on God and each other in order to help you learn how to love by faith.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:01

Good morning.

Selina Almodovar: 1:03

How are you?

Kyle Almodovar: 1:04

I'm great, man. I'm I'm feeling it today. In a good vibe.

Selina Almodovar: 1:07

We're in a good vibe.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:08

Had a good, you know, you know, we record after we dropped the kids off at school.

Selina Almodovar: 1:12

Right.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:13

And we had a great morning, great drop off. So it just makes everything easier. Makes it feel like the Lord is leading the way.

Selina Almodovar: 1:20

It is uh pleasantly good considering we just had daylight savings and the adjustment, but I'm sure by tomorrow everyone's gonna be like tanked and toast and no bones.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:33

You think we'll get the Wednesday, the Wednesday no bones?

Selina Almodovar: 1:35

Usually comes on Wednesday.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:36

The hump day blues.

Selina Almodovar: 1:37

Yeah, usually comes on Wednesday.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:39

I can see that.

Selina Almodovar: 1:40

Yeah, so but hey, as long as we're here today.

Kyle Almodovar: 1:43

Man, season three is going by so quickly.

Selina Almodovar: 1:46

This is a very heavy topic that we're talking about with temptation. Yeah, yes, because we are really shining a light on things that people I would think is secretly struggling with, maybe openly struggling with, and we're taking a mirror with all of these discussions, and we're really just holding it up, and we're like, do you see yourself in this?

Kyle Almodovar: 2:10

That's great. Yes. I I like that it has so many facets to it that even though we're talking about temptation to look and tempted to keep secrets, like it gets into that deeper of what's in your heart.

Selina Almodovar: 2:20

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 2:20

And I think that's the whole point of our ministry is talking to people's hearts and helping you understand who you are so that you can be better in your marriage and in your relationship.

Selina Almodovar: 2:29

Absolutely. So, speaking of hearts, welcome everyone. We're glad that you're here and you're joining us today. If you're new for the first time, this is Love by Faith. And here we speak directly to hearts, apparently. This is what we do, this is our ministry, and we love that you're here with us. We hope you enjoy this ride. If you've been with us for a long time, we're glad you're back. Thanks for coming back. Thanks for supporting. Thanks for all of the seed sowers who are also supporting us off the screen to help make all of this possible. We're very thankful for you guys as well, you know, being in that season of gratitude. And as Kyle mentioned, we're talking about temptation. And last week we talked about the temptation to keep secrets. The week before that, we talked about the temptation to look away. This week, I think is gonna be very interesting because it is speaking about the temptation to skip uh church.

Kyle Almodovar: 3:23

Yeah, tempted to skip church, tempted to skip church. So should we go like baseline? Why is church important? Why is church important real quick?

Selina Almodovar: 3:35

Church is important because the body is one, and when you come together with other like-minded people who also have their faith in Christ, then we become the body, and when the body comes together, we are able to do things with that body. We're able to edify each other, we're able to strengthen one another, we're able to serve outside, and we're able to fulfill the commission by using that that shared spirit being the Holy Spirit. Okay, and that shared faith, we're able to do more together.

Kyle Almodovar: 4:09

So, love your answer, right? It's it's a book, good, good book answer. I think my my answer to that same question is we need the church because it helps us see that being flawed is okay.

Selina Almodovar: 4:21

Yeah, okay.

Kyle Almodovar: 4:22

Because it helps us see that we're going through something, and and the rest of our believers are going through something, and we're going through it together, and we're able to share in that experience and share in that in that shortcomings and work together to grow together and to make that body better.

Selina Almodovar: 4:39

It gets tricky though, okay, because not every church is emotionally healthy. Oh, okay. Not every church is emotionally healthy, which means there are a lot of churches out there who are using the cover up of Christ has redeemed me, I am healed, but by his grace, I am free, and they're not talking about the human things that they're going through. Either because of their shame, either because of their pride, either because they are wrestling with the concept of why am I imperfect if I am a Christian? Sh I shouldn't be, you know, like for example, like I shouldn't be depressed because God set me free of that. So why am I going, I don't have it. You know, they're in a denial state. I don't, I don't have that. In Jesus' name, I'm healed. I don't have a mental illness in Jesus' name. But deep inside, but deep inside we're going through these human things because we live in a broken, fallen world and these things are coming at us. And so, as Christ-like family believers, we should see them for what they are, and we should work together to not just expose what the enemy is doing, but we should expose that God is greater and we're gonna get through this.

Kyle Almodovar: 5:47

So, in in a relationship, yeah, who is in charge of making sure the couple goes to church?

Selina Almodovar: 5:52

Ooh, Kyle. Wow.

Kyle Almodovar: 5:56

But we're tempted to skip, who's who's giving in, who's succumbing to that temptation?

Selina Almodovar: 6:00

Listen, it's so complicated. It's different for everybody. You're laughing because you're like, I she fell right into my plan.

Kyle Almodovar: 6:09

I'm my agenda is talk about being tempted to skip church.

Selina Almodovar: 6:13

I'm gonna speak just for Selena. Okay. I'm only speaking for Selena, and people will have different opinions because every situation is completely different. And I'm gonna understand that. And I want the listeners and the watchers to understand that every situation is different. Whatever is working for you as being convicted by the Holy Spirit, that's your business. That my name is Paul, that's between y'all. I'm talking to me, Selena. This is what I think. I think who is in charge as the spiritual leader of the household, I'm gonna say with my whole chest, it is the husband's responsibility to make sure that the family that he is in stewarding, that he is leading, should have the access and the consistency to go to church. I'm locking that answer in.

Kyle Almodovar: 7:03

Final answer the dude is responsible for getting the family to church.

Selina Almodovar: 7:06

But again, every situation's different, you know. Like maybe that dude can't make it to the church service times because of work or because of whatever reason. I don't know.

Kyle Almodovar: 7:17

Right.

Selina Almodovar: 7:18

I can't I can't say that you have to do it in because maybe there's a situation where they can maybe they're deployed. I don't know. Then what?

Kyle Almodovar: 7:24

Love it. Great example. Then what?

Selina Almodovar: 7:26

What what do you do if the if he's removed and he's not he's not able to go there?

Kyle Almodovar: 7:30

That's beautiful, you know? Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 7:31

What if he's out of town and he travels a lot and he just happens to be traveling during the weekends because of his job? Then what? Then it's like, oh, well, you weren't here to do it, so therefore I'm not gonna no, then I guess it falls back to it falls onto the wife. Gotta get them kids in. No matter what, you're sharing this stewardship of a family and a legacy. So however you and we know we talked about legacy in season two.

Kyle Almodovar: 7:52

Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 7:53

However, you want that legacy to look like when you're not there, when you're long gone for generations, you're setting the standard now.

Kyle Almodovar: 8:02

Good answer. Good answer. I'm good with that.

Selina Almodovar: 8:04

Good answer. Good answer. Okay.

Kyle Almodovar: 8:07

So ask me the same question.

Selina Almodovar: 8:08

Okay. Kyle, what was the question?

Kyle Almodovar: 8:10

Who's responsible?

Selina Almodovar: 8:12

Kyle. Who's responsible? Who's responsible for initiating? Is that initiating? Making sure. Making sure. Just tell me.

Kyle Almodovar: 8:23

Making sure that the family goes to church.

Selina Almodovar: 8:24

Who's responsible, Kyle, for making sure that the family goes to church?

Kyle Almodovar: 8:31

So you did fall right into my trap because this is a trick question. Both people are responsible.

Selina Almodovar: 8:36

But I thought I said it.

Kyle Almodovar: 8:37

We are both responsible for A, our own salvation. Yes. And yes, the husband is the leader of the household, but at times the leader's got to know when to to step back and look at the bigger picture and say what's best, right?

Selina Almodovar: 8:49

Okay.

Kyle Almodovar: 8:49

If your wife is sick and not not feeling it and out of it, you're not just gonna drag her and force her and say, You have to go to church.

Selina Almodovar: 8:56

Because my husband's can't be legalistic, and I like that. I like that approach.

Kyle Almodovar: 9:01

And and if if the husband has been like in a slump or in a depression, like you said, like people get depressed. Like it sucks, it's hard, it's real, right? Really human.

Selina Almodovar: 9:11

Absolutely.

Kyle Almodovar: 9:12

The wife's gotta be able to be like, honey, listen, I know you're not feeling it. Just come in, let's hear the message, and let's get out of here.

Selina Almodovar: 9:19

Listen, I remember um when I was first pregnant with William. Yeah. First baby, first pregnancy, never before happened to this. I was nine months, I was miserable. It was in July, and going to church made me want to just cuss people out. I'm sorry, people who knew me back then, because they would just, when is the baby do? When are you doing? How are you doing? How are you feeling? And I was just like, I was so overwhelmed and just hearing the same questions over and over and over. And if you're pregnant, you get it, you know, you know. And I was just like, I don't want to be here because you're making me upset. And I'm only going to, I feel like a spectacle. I'm not going to church. And I didn't go to church. And so then I had the baby, right? I had the baby. So I'm like, I can't go to church until like I feel better, right? So then you heal. Six weeks after I got after I had William and I did the six-week checkup, and I'm like, okay, I think it's time for me to get back into the world. Yeah, I got hit with Bell's palsy. Yeah. And my entire left side of my face was paralyzed. And I told you, I was like, I'm not leaving this house. I'm not going to church. I'm not stepping foot around anybody who's gonna look at me and think I'm quasi-modal. Like I'm not having that because it was a really hard season. And so I must have been out of church for a minimum of 12 weeks, three months, a whole season. Yeah. And I felt that spiritually.

Kyle Almodovar: 10:42

Okay.

Selina Almodovar: 10:42

I felt that, but you didn't pressure me and you kept going. You kept going to church. And I think that was very significant. Why? Because it helped us keep God at the center. When I was too weak to go, or when I was unable to go, you going in to church and having that encouragement and having that support and getting filled by the word and having that weekly time of worship, you know, with other believers, that strengthened you to then come back to our house and pour that back into what we needed.

Kyle Almodovar: 11:21

Wow.

Selina Almodovar: 11:22

I think if both of us would have stayed home at that time, where would we have been inspired and motivated to keep going? Where would the hope have been? Where I mean, sure, we can read our Bible.

Kyle Almodovar: 11:32

Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 11:33

Yes, we can listen to sermons online, but there's something about having a person that you know that you have done life with, who knows what you're going through, see you and give you a hug, or give you a dap, or share a smile with you, or pray over you, or just genuinely care for you, for you to be like, I'm not alone.

Kyle Almodovar: 11:55

It's good.

Selina Almodovar: 11:56

I'm not alone in this. I can I can do this.

Kyle Almodovar: 12:00

Your memory is so crazy, and it's crazy in a beautiful way, because like I remember obviously we had the baby, I remember obviously you had the Bell's palsy, but I don't remember the the little things of of the routine of life during that season. I remember we went to I made you go to Dairy Queen one time, and that was not fun for you. I remember what you had to do to help like take care of your eyes, but to remember the me going to church, yeah, I think it just was such an ingrained into my routine of of what I needed to stay spiritually sane and to say physically sane. Yes, in a in a rough season where my wife doesn't feel pretty, and to be there and just pray for you and to connect with the spirit for you. I guess looking back on it now that you've reminded me like that was really intentional to just keep the family covered.

Selina Almodovar: 12:51

And just because you were going out, you know, you're able to tell people like what's happening in our home. Yeah. You know, we had the emotional intelligence to be like, hey, I'm vulnerable right now. I'm gonna share what's happening because this is where like we're real, okay, we're genuine. We're not perfect, but we're real, and we could at least share what's happening. And so it was our church friends that ultimately like dragged me out, and like we went on a we went to a restaurant with like our all our new babies, like we all had like new babies at the time. And it was our friends.

Kyle Almodovar: 13:19

I remember that.

Selina Almodovar: 13:20

I remember that didn't that motivated me. And then like I remember I would like they would say something to make me laugh, and I would remember trying to laugh and like my face couldn't, like half of my face couldn't do it, and then it like it was funny, and like that was the first time that I laughed in that condition of like wow, this is actually how I'm gonna get missed the eye because of beautiful, because the whole time it just felt like people were laughing at me, and for the first time I felt like people were laughing with me, and I was able to like get through that really hard season.

Kyle Almodovar: 13:54

Amen.

Selina Almodovar: 13:54

For because of the church family, because of the church family.

Kyle Almodovar: 13:58

So I think I think we're we're pushing time good. When we get to the second half, I want to talk about more um practical, like what temptations cause people to skip.

Selina Almodovar: 14:09

Absolutely.

Kyle Almodovar: 14:10

That's so like what what cause what really tempts us to miss church on a Sunday or Saturday or whatever day you'd like to go.

Selina Almodovar: 14:17

Hey everyone, we hope that you're enjoying this episode. And right now, we want to just take a small minute to introduce to you the latest thing that we created to help you elevate your relationship and take it to the next level. It's called the Love by Faith playbook.

Kyle Almodovar: 14:32

Every good coach knows they have to have winning plays. We went through our foundation series and we pulled out some of the best winning plays and created strategies for you guys. Plays like how to be better financially, how to do ministry together, how to be better romantically, how to be better family life. We went through all these different areas from the foundation series and put it together in a playbook.

Selina Almodovar: 14:53

So grab your love by faith playbook today. You can use the link in the description below, enter it. And the good news about this is that it is a living document. So you download it one time, and every single month, we are gonna be updating this document to give you fresh new plays to help you and your partner love by faith and create a winning season. Go ahead and get your love by faith playbook now, and let's get back into this episode. So you said that you wanted to talk about the temptations, right? What makes people skip church?

Kyle Almodovar: 15:29

Right.

Selina Almodovar: 15:29

I think the number one thing that makes people skip church is they get offended and they get a church hurt and they pull back on.

Kyle Almodovar: 15:37

Okay. Offense and church hurt.

Selina Almodovar: 15:39

Yes. I think something happened inside the church with human beings. I don't think the Holy Spirit, maybe the Holy Spirit corrected them and they didn't like it. But nine times out of ten, it's another person who's also imperfect, who's also broken, and they bumped heads and it caused them to be like, you know what? I'm gonna take I'm gonna take time off. I'm not gonna go to that service because I know they're gonna be there. Or, you know, I'm not I'm not gonna participate as much because I don't want to have to have conflict with this person. Yeah, you know, I think another reason if I can keep going, because I'm on a trail now.

Kyle Almodovar: 16:14

Yeah, if you got it, good luck.

Selina Almodovar: 16:16

Burnout, number one, they're all number one.

Kyle Almodovar: 16:18

That's what you said.

Selina Almodovar: 16:19

They're all number one. These are all the number one things offense with someone else, burnout, yeah, absolutely burnout. It has stopped us from going to church for a time. Certainly, because we were just like, we're doing too much and we're not getting anything back in return, you know, and not to say that we were serving and we were leaders of the ministries because we were expecting to get something, but it came to a point where we were so much about the logistics of running this church that we lost sight of building the relationships that the church should be caring for. And so when we were going through hard times and other people who were in that same mentality was not checking on us and we weren't checking on them, then there was a huge disconnect, and it felt like, well, we're overexerting ourselves, and so we're just gonna fall back.

Kyle Almodovar: 17:10

We got to a point where we were ministering from an empty cup.

Selina Almodovar: 17:12

Yes, and that cup was empty for a long time and didn't we didn't stop to fill it up, and it was just yeah, yeah, we were ministering from an empty cup, and so we had nothing to pour out, and then we were because we had nothing to pour out, you know, everything everything comes with a layer of you know, just weakness, right? Our flesh is just weak. Yeah, and when your flesh is weak, you tend to get offended easily, you tend to get anger easily. The flesh things come out more, right? You know, and so when you're coming from an empty cup, because you're oh you're burned out and you're tired, now all of a sudden you're getting offended easier. Yeah, now all of a sudden you're starting to realize, well, so and so is not checking in on me, and that how come they didn't care for me? You know, you're starting tit for tat, and then it's just like, well, you know, these people, they're so they only talk to me about this one thing. How come they're not asking me about more things? And it's just like if you were just coming from a better filled cup, okay, I think you would see grace and you would see love and you would feel um led to share. You know, a lot of times people are waiting for people to to ask and to pour and to to be curious instead of just sharing. A lot of people are waiting and they're like, Well, you never asked. You never asked, so that's why you don't know. You never asked what happened, what was going on with me, and you never, so therefore you don't care because you didn't ask. And it's like, how am I supposed to know to ask? I talk to you all the time and you never brought it up, you know. So then you get into this whole they're not interested in me because they're not asking me, versus I should have just been open and honest and vulnerable, and I should have just shared. So it's all offense, it's all exhaustion, it's all these things mixed together into this huge perfect storm of people just decide not to come. They don't want to meet the conflict, and so they decide not to come.

Kyle Almodovar: 19:04

So, what I hear there is that one of the big hangups is that it's it's a Sunday-only relationship. And they're expecting that whole relationship to grow and to blossom and to get deep on just Sunday.

Selina Almodovar: 19:17

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 19:17

And I think that's that's a big thing that's gonna tempt you to miss. If you're expecting that Sunday only is going to be enough spiritually, be enough uh with relationally, then you're you're gonna miss it. That's gonna tempt you that this Sunday isn't that this this church isn't working. Right. Let me not go to this church because I've been going all these Sundays and I don't have any working. I don't have any fill in the blank to show for it.

Selina Almodovar: 19:43

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 19:44

But it's it's not church isn't a Sunday only thing.

Selina Almodovar: 19:47

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 19:47

The body is not only alive on Sunday.

Selina Almodovar: 19:50

Yes, right? Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 19:51

That's why all those other connections that have to happen are true.

Selina Almodovar: 19:56

Can I say another temptation? Sure. I'm on a roll.

Kyle Almodovar: 19:59

Okay.

Selina Almodovar: 19:59

I got a lot. Holy Spirit just dropped one in me. I'm gonna be super petty about this, okay? But I know there's super petty people out there who are listening are gonna be like, ooh, that hurt.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:08

So is this a personal temptation?

Selina Almodovar: 20:10

No, it's not, it's not okay. People skip church because the worship is not good.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:16

Okay.

Selina Almodovar: 20:17

People are like, so-and-so is gonna sing, it's not my favorite worship leader, it's not my favorite worship person, so I'm gonna skip it. So and so is not preaching.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:27

So-and-so is not preaching, so I'm not gonna go.

Selina Almodovar: 20:30

I'm not gonna go until they until that person preaches again.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:33

I wait for for Pastor So-and-so to be back.

Selina Almodovar: 20:35

You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, that's real. Yeah, people pick favorites, and it's like, why are you truly you gotta check your heart? Why are you truly going to church then?

Kyle Almodovar: 20:45

Has the Holy Spirit chosen this person to minister this week? Okay, that is who you should submit to the Holy Spirit as who they want you to hear the word from.

Selina Almodovar: 20:53

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 20:54

So, one of the things that I think people get tempted from a dude's perspective, yes, I'm gonna bring the guy's perspective here, is just tempted to skip church. A just straight lazy.

Selina Almodovar: 21:02

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:03

I just want to chill. I just want to keep my feet up. It's such a vibe, and this it's you know, it could be it sucks outside.

Selina Almodovar: 21:11

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:12

I'm just I'm just gonna just gonna chill today. Yeah, just gonna take it easy today. And take it easy next week. Take it easy the following week. Oh, I got the golf outing. I no, we're talking about guys here. I got the golf outing.

Selina Almodovar: 21:22

Oh, the game starts.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:24

We're playing in London this week. I gotta be up early to watch the game.

Selina Almodovar: 21:27

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:28

Come on, bro.

Selina Almodovar: 21:29

Yes. Oh, it was late last night. Oh, I don't wake up. I don't I can't wake. I'm not a morning person.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:36

One of the things I love about guys is that we have great standards. There's a lot of guys with really good standards that I know.

Selina Almodovar: 21:41

Amen.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:42

And who are men of quality and men of consistency.

Selina Almodovar: 21:45

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 21:46

And one of the things that will tempt you to avoid a group of people is when you don't see the same level of effort. Wow. In their fill in the blank, in their appearance, in their appreciation, in the in the way they worship, in how they come up to you and shake your hand and greet you. And so is this being judgy?

Selina Almodovar: 22:06

Are you guys judging?

Kyle Almodovar: 22:07

Some of it could be judgment, some of it could be just uh hypocrisy, being uh not afraid of hypocrisy, but seeing it and being like, uh fake. This right. This guy just saying hi to me because he's at church. Yeah, he wouldn't say hi to me if we were at Target.

Selina Almodovar: 22:22

Wow.

Kyle Almodovar: 22:22

Or if we were at wherever.

Selina Almodovar: 22:24

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 22:24

Right? And so there's a certain level of healthy judgment that we need to use as Christians and as believers, and to know who to surround ourselves with, even inside the church.

Selina Almodovar: 22:34

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 22:34

But there's also an unhealthy judgment of this person's not this person's not doing all the things. Yeah. Right? This person doesn't even hold his wife's hand.

Selina Almodovar: 22:43

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 22:43

That's that's a poor judgment. Yeah. Because you don't know, maybe she don't like having her hand held in public.

Selina Almodovar: 22:48

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 22:49

Maybe it makes her feel like a child, right? You don't know. And so you get into this, this the temptation is to avoid hypocrisy. And there's hypocrisy everywhere, though. You're gonna have people who are new, one of my new favorite words, duplicit.

Selina Almodovar: 23:04

Okay.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:05

Right? And so you're gonna act one way here and one way there, and and that's gonna stop people and tempt you to avoid that that situation.

Selina Almodovar: 23:13

So I just to understand you, so going into a crowd and not feeling respect for the people that you're in this church setting with will cause you to skip church because you feel like you're better, or you feel like they're you're not you're not able to grow in that environment.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:33

Yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 23:35

Okay.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:35

Yeah. Not better. They're not able to grow.

Selina Almodovar: 23:37

You're not able to grow.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:38

You're not able to connect.

Selina Almodovar: 23:39

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:39

You're not able to grow and connect.

Selina Almodovar: 23:43

What's up, love by faith family? We want to say thank you so much for your support in watching and engaging in every single episode that we have put out thus far. We could not have made it this far without you.

Kyle Almodovar: 23:54

That's right. And we want to grow more, we want to create new resources, we want to increase our reach, and we want to provide more for you guys. But the only way to make that happen is for you to come alongside and partner with us to sow a seed into this ministry to help it grow.

Selina Almodovar: 24:09

Because at the end of the day, it's not about getting new equipment or putting out new resources, it's about expanding the kingdom. It's about creating godly marriages. And we can do that if you partner alongside us with your financial support. There's a link below that you can click on. You can contribute one time, or you can partner with us on a monthly basis and help us sow a seed so that love by faith can continue to grow and reach the masses.

Kyle Almodovar: 24:36

If you want to see this ministry grow, follow the link below and thank you. We thank you for giving and for being just part of this journey with us.

Selina Almodovar: 24:44

So that together we can love by faith.

Kyle Almodovar: 24:48

Love by faith, y'all. That's not a joke.

Selina Almodovar: 24:54

Love by faith is a joke.

Kyle Almodovar: 24:56

Love by faith, y'all is not a joke.

Selina Almodovar: 24:57

That's not our tagline.

Kyle Almodovar: 24:58

It's a catchphrase.

Selina Almodovar: 25:00

Can you please just use the link and click below and we would be grateful in Jesus' name.

Kyle Almodovar: 25:07

But I think you nailed it before when you said it's all people problems.

Selina Almodovar: 25:14

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 25:14

It's all people problems. And and we all have people problems.

Selina Almodovar: 25:18

And no church is perfect.

Kyle Almodovar: 25:20

Right.

Selina Almodovar: 25:20

No church is perfect.

Kyle Almodovar: 25:22

And so my encouragement to be temptation is that is that no church is perfect, right? We're not going to a place full of all-star athletes. We're going to a hospital for the sick. Yes. And we're all in different stages of getting better.

Selina Almodovar: 25:38

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 25:39

How about you? What's your practical on avoiding temptation to skip church?

Selina Almodovar: 25:43

So I think when it comes to skipping church, I think a lot of people are thinking about the other people at church. And they're not thinking enough about you contributing to that church. So for you to skip church, you're blaming other people for the problems within the church. But instead of focusing on the problem, why don't we flip it and instead we focus on us as becoming a solution? Why don't we become more vulnerable? Why don't we become more servant-like? Why don't we become more cheerful to be around? If you feel like the environment is not going to grow you, then how can we grow others so that they can in turn grow? You know? Like how can we become the light and the salt inside the church so that we can encourage the church to leave the church walls, establish those communities outside of Sunday service, and then become better as people?

Kyle Almodovar: 26:45

Yes.

Selina Almodovar: 26:45

I think it starts with you. And the reason why people are tempted to skip church is because they're focused on them. It's not a them problem, it's a you problem. And the more you focus on yourself and the more you're going to church, not for the people, but because God has called you there and God has brought you here to hear this particular sermon, to listen to these particular worship songs, to participate in those particular events, to meet those particular souls, because maybe something that you have inside of you is something that you need to partake into them on that particular Sunday. Maybe that's the reason. Maybe if we are more Christ-minded and less people-minded, then we can look at the church not as something that we have to go to or something that we're tempted to skip. We can instead use it as a way of God calling us closer to Him.

Kyle Almodovar: 27:33

Let's go. Let's go. Jesus didn't go to the well because he was thirsty.

Selina Almodovar: 27:36

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 27:37

He went to the well because he had he had someone to help.

Selina Almodovar: 27:39

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 27:40

He went to the well because he had a woman to help understand her situation and show her that there was still love for her and there was still God was still on her side, regardless of how she felt or how she was living.

Selina Almodovar: 27:51

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 27:52

And when we get caught up in I think in leaving just the church to be on Sunday, right? If the church is just Sunday, if you're not connecting with your for the guys, if you're not connecting with with your guys outside of Sunday, if you're not connecting with with the word outside of Sunday, if you're not connecting with God in prayer outside of Sunday, you are gonna be tempted to not value Sunday.

Selina Almodovar: 28:17

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 28:18

Because it's just it's just uh checking it off of the box. It's just a box to check off of your things to do this week.

Selina Almodovar: 28:24

Yeah.

Kyle Almodovar: 28:24

It it does just become just part of that routine that you just all right, honey, we gotta go to church. Let's go, kids. Alright, church is over. Everybody get out as fast as you can. Take those ten minutes to connect with someone.

Selina Almodovar: 28:37

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 28:37

Take those ten minutes to meet somebody new. If you gotta read a book and figure out some questions some conversation starters to take to church, do it. You gotta run ChatGPT to figure out what's some good questions to ask people at church to get a conversation, go and do it. That's not crazy. That's caring about the body and pouring in.

Selina Almodovar: 28:55

I think if if if there's any if there's any question, and I I have another thought after this, but if there's any question, it could be, hey, how can I pray for you this week? You know, let's let's let's open up that dialogue so that people can be vulnerable. Let's open up the dialogue so that people can feel less lonely. Because there are people who are listening to this episode and they're like, I am the church. I don't need other people, I don't need the walls. I am the church. I I read my Bible at home, I listen to sermons, I listen to worship music. I don't need to go there to meet with God. I don't need to go there to have experiences with God.

Kyle Almodovar: 29:32

So their their pride is the is the temptation to skip Sunday.

Selina Almodovar: 29:36

Their yeah, their pride is I don't need these people, I don't need this establishment to have a spiritual life and to be Christ minded. But if that were the case, Christ did not stay by himself.

Kyle Almodovar: 29:51

Right.

Selina Almodovar: 29:52

Christ met with others, he communed with other people. And maybe I know we I think we mentioned this in season one, but you're Your church might not look like a church with a steeple and stained glass windows. Your church might look like the place where you donate your charity and your community service to, you know, that that group of people, you know, your church might look like an AA group, your group of people where you're being vulnerable and you invite Christ into the center of that, and you you ask for his, you know, all that he has, his love and his grace and his mercy, and all of the things that come out of that grace and love and mercy through people. Okay. And so going to a church establishment is great because we cannot do this life alone. Right. We're not strong enough. We're not meant to, we were meant to grow and multiply. We were meant to have domain over the world. We were meant to do this in connection with others. We were meant to go and make more disciples. We were meant to pour into what God has poured into us onto others, and you cannot do that alone.

Kyle Almodovar: 30:56

No, that community connection is so key to the growth.

Selina Almodovar: 30:59

Churches are great because they have a pastor who has a message because you can worship in a time when you probably don't worship on your own. It has events where you can go out and you can be the hands and feet for Christ. It has places where your children can meet other children and develop their Christ-like faith, their childlike faith. Church is a great place to do all of these things, especially to connect with people who also have the same shared beliefs as you. And you can do it in other settings, but a church is a really good place to start. And so we encourage you guys, consider it, reconsider it. If there is an offense, if there's pride, if there's laziness, if there's any other temptation that we have discussed in this podcast, or maybe some that we haven't talked about yet, bring that up to God. Bring up the conversation of should I go back to my church? Should I go to a new church? Where are you calling me? Because wherever you are, yes, it should be God's yes and amen.

Kyle Almodovar: 31:57

God's leading you there.

Selina Almodovar: 31:59

Okay. So we are just encouraging you to do life with other people where they are in agreement with that truth that wherever you go, it is your yes and amen onto the Lord. And that's what I have to say.

Kyle Almodovar: 32:12

That's awesome. What an episode. Selena, you had some some bangers in there. I'm so grateful to do this with you. I hope that you guys have been blessed by this episode. Let's close in prayer.

Selina Almodovar: 32:24

Wait, wait, wait. You had bangers in there as well.

Kyle Almodovar: 32:27

Okay.

Selina Almodovar: 32:28

You touching on the guys thing, you touching on the truth of the matter of things. All of this was good. It wasn't just me.

Kyle Almodovar: 32:35

I thanks, honey. Thanks. I appreciate that.

Selina Almodovar: 32:38

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 32:39

The church is so important. The church is is the hands and feet of Christ. You said it multiple times, and it's absolutely God's plan for the church to be united. That's why go where you go, connection, community, communion, and just Christian fellowship will help your spiritual life in ways you cannot imagine. Amen. Let's pray. Lord, I'm grateful to be here with my wife and to be used by you, for us to be used by your Holy Spirit, to share a message each week, to share uh thoughts and to provoke discussion each week. We pray that your word lands on good soil, Lord, that the hearts of people in marriage and relationships who are seeking the good words would hear us and would feel connected to us, Lord. We give you the glory for all of it. We're not here on our own, we're not here by ourselves, Lord. We are here with you, and we are led by you. We give you the glory for all of it, and we just pray for blessings in the relationships and in the churches who who are listening in this podcast in Jesus' name. Amen.

Selina Almodovar: 33:47

Amen. You know, uh one of the things that came to my mind as we were praying is when a husband and wife are tempted to skip church together, and whether they're tempted to skip church, you know, one is tempted to skip church and the other isn't, and really encouraging couples who are in these kind of situations, as Kyle mentioned earlier, you know, going because you have a relationship with the Lord that you need to fulfill is very crucial. But also, you know, whatever if you're if your spouse is struggling with skipping church and you really want them to join you in that, then taking those questions, how can I pray for you? How can I serve you? Taking those church-related questions and those church-related service ideas and starting at home with your wife or with your husband could be the first step to getting them back into a place where they are eager and excited to go to church with you.

Kyle Almodovar: 34:47

Practice those conversation starters on each other.

Selina Almodovar: 34:50

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 34:51

Amen. That's great.

Selina Almodovar: 34:52

Yes. And so I just want to be clear that you guys know that that starts at home and then it carries into the rest of the church setting. And we have lots of accountability questions that are included in our newest resource. You guys can find that in the couples playbook. Make sure you download that. It is completely free and we continue to add to it. So your your value is only increasing over time. So make sure that you get that and you have those questions. And maybe this week you guys can have some really good conversations to get you back to church on Sunday.

Kyle Almodovar: 35:22

Man, we appreciate you listening. We appreciate you watching. If you're on YouTube, uh, like, share, subscribe, show your friends what we're doing. Spotify, give us the five stars. We appreciate you being here and listening. Apple podcasts. Please review it and five star everything.

Selina Almodovar: 35:41

Yes.

Kyle Almodovar: 35:42

We're grateful for you. We're grateful for this season. And you guys can beat temptation with the power of God. With the power of the Holy Spirit, you can defeat temptation.

Selina Almodovar: 35:52

If this episode blessed you and you would like to do more, we are currently in the middle of a crowdfunding campaign. You can go ahead and sow a seed into us so that you can help us create godly marriages. The link is in the description below, and you can take part in that as well. Thanks so much for joining us. We'll see you again next week.

Kyle Almodovar: 36:09

Love by faith, yeah.

Selina Almodovar: 36:10

Bye.

Kyle Almodovar: 36:12

I love you. I freaking love you. I love you. You're awesome, bro.

Selina Almodovar: 36:15

You're awesome. No, you're awesome.

Kyle Almodovar: 36:21

The thing you said after I prayed, that would be a good end credit scene.

Selina Almodovar: 36:29

No.

Kyle Almodovar: 36:29

No. Okay.

Selina Almodovar: 36:31

This is our end credit scene.

Kyle Almodovar: 36:33

Look at me trying to trying to direct and getting shot down by the producer.

Selina Almodovar: 36:39

I I thought about it, but it's too, it's too good. You know, there was one episode where I think we were doing finances, and you were like, make sure this goes in. And I like cut the end credit scene and I like brought it back to video form. And like you, you did your whole spiel on that, and that was that was an interesting take on it. And I was I was thinking about that in my head. Yeah. And I was like, no, we're just we're gonna keep that in the in the full episode because people need to hear that part. And I don't know if people tune out of the end credits scenes or not.

Kyle Almodovar: 37:10

So love by faith, y'all.

Selina Almodovar: 37:13

Love by faith, y'all. Are we gonna have coffee mugs one day that say love by faith, y'all? Sure. Maybe one of those neon signs in the back that says love by faith, y'all.

Kyle Almodovar: 37:22

If you want to love by faith, y'all, mug.

Selina Almodovar: 37:24

You're gonna have to sell some seeds so we could like establish that. Comment below. Yeah. All right, let's go uh do some reels, eh? Wanna do some reels with me? Wanna really, really oh?

Kyle Almodovar: 37:37

We could probably do one, maybe two.

Selina Almodovar: 37:39

Maybe it took okay. All right, thank you. Let's get to work.