TEMPTATION: Tempted To Look | Love By Faith with Kyle & Selina Almodovar #085

We open season three by naming a quiet truth: couples are tempted to look away... from each other and from God. We map where that drift starts, why it feels good in the moment, and how to turn attention back to covenant, accountability, and hope.

• returning from break and finding a healthy rhythm
• new monthly series focuses on temptation
• defining “the temptation to look” beyond wandering eyes
• women’s escapes through venting, wine, and gossip
• safe counsel that points back to God and marriage
• men’s visual triggers and reflexes explained
• distraction loops: sports, screens, man cave, obsessive hobbies
• the danger of work spouses and misplaced respect
• porn and “spicy media” as intimacy replacements
• practical guardrails: accountability, tech limits, shared rituals
• coping with Christ instead of idols
• prayer for honesty, change, and closeness to God


🌱 We are in the middle of a crowdfunding campaign. Follow the link below to donate and contribute to the crowdfunding campaign that we’re doing this season.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back & New Season Energy
• 1:32 Life Updates And Finding Rhythm
• 4:11 Announcing The Temptation Series
• 6:00 The Temptation To Look: Big Picture
• 7:30 Where Women Are Tempted To Look
• 11:30 Gossip, Venting, And Safe Counsel
• 15:21 Sponsor: Love By Faith Playbook
• 16:35 Why Men Look: Visual Triggers Explained
• 19:00 Distraction, Escapism, And The Man Cave
• 21:30 The Most Dangerous Look: Work Spouses
• 24:00 Physical Replacement And Pornography
• 26:00 First Steps Back: Accountability & Tech Guardrails
• 28:00 Coping With Christ, Not Idols
• 30:00 New Resource: Accountability Questions
• 31:30 Crowdfunding Invitation
• 33:20 Prayer, Closing, And What’s Next

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

The temptation to look.

SPEAKER_04: 0:01

Where are women tempted to look?

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

Why do you guys always look at other women when they walk past? Boom, right there on your wife. Right there on your wife. Because I see it too. What would you think would be the most dangerous looking away that a man often struggles with? We're not perfect people.

SPEAKER_02: 0:17

By any means.

SPEAKER_00: 0:19

But by trusting in God, we learned what it takes to build a friendship, a relationship, and marriage that has stood the test of time.

SPEAKER_02: 0:27

With a keeping it real style, we're going to talk to you about everything.

SPEAKER_00: 0:31

Everything that we've been through, are going through, and have overcome.

SPEAKER_02: 0:36

All by learning how to lean on God and each other.

SPEAKER_00: 0:40

In order to help you learn how to love by faith.

SPEAKER_04: 1:00

For podcast season three.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02

Season three. Wow. Love by faith energy. Episode 85. 85. 85 of these.

SPEAKER_04: 1:10

I know. That's a lot.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12

Welcome back.

SPEAKER_04: 1:12

Hey, I'm glad to be here.

SPEAKER_00: 1:14

You look good.

SPEAKER_04: 1:15

Thanks. I tried. You know, I put on a little something for the people.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18

I like it. I like it.

SPEAKER_04: 1:19

You look great too. It's good to see you again. What'd you do with your time off?

SPEAKER_00: 1:24

Where have you been? Man, time off? What is what does that even mean?

SPEAKER_04: 1:28

Did you go to like somewhere cool? Did you get a little vacay?

SPEAKER_00: 1:31

Okay, so let's recap for the people. So we we wrapped up in what August?

SPEAKER_04: 1:35

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 1:36

So August. So we got kids to school. All three kids now go to school. It's been awesome. September, I got ahead of myself and I was like, all three kids in school. That means I have a hundred hours every day. And really, I just have like three. A hundred hours a day. You know, I it's it's interesting because now I'm I'm finally getting back to myself. Like I'm able to go back to the gym. I'm able to sleep normally. I'm able to clean the house, you know.

SPEAKER_04: 2:04

Get consistent things done.

SPEAKER_00: 2:05

You know, so now it's just trying to find a rhythm of and I get to and I get to pour into you guys, right? Like I get to do more social stuff, I get to do more video stuff, more ministry stuff. So that's been really exciting.

SPEAKER_03: 2:17

Have you been writing?

SPEAKER_00: 2:19

Ah it's coming.

SPEAKER_03: 2:21

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_00: 2:22

I'm still I'm still trying to figure out I'm still trying to figure out the rhythm of what goes into a whole day. Okay. So that I can balance not just work with but with you know, myself and my self-care too. Because in the past, I would just work, work, work, work, work. I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't get up, I wouldn't take, I wouldn't stretch, I wouldn't walk the dog. What dog? There was no dog. Right. You know, and then it's you that's that's not a healthy way of doing it. So now that I'm in this new season, I I want to be healthy, and being healthy means you got to take time for things. And so just trying to figure out the time space. But definitely writing has been on my heart, and it's coming, it's coming for wives, it's coming, it's coming. How about you? What did you do on your break?

SPEAKER_04: 3:06

On my break, I did nothing.

SPEAKER_00: 3:08

Yes, you did.

SPEAKER_04: 3:11

No, I kid, I kid. I cleaned a lot, actually. I cleaned up the garage, I cleaned up my shed, I cleaned up my work, like my uh my workbench, yeah. And it looks awesome, and I'm trying to keep it that way. Yeah, I'm one of those people who like I'll clean it up and it'll look awesome for like three months. Yes, and I'll do a project, and I'm not putting the tool away, guys. And you know, you've been married to me, I know you know, but I've just got to keep it clean. And so I'm really being intentional this season to keep my spaces like tight.

SPEAKER_00: 3:41

You know, you told me something a long time ago, and it always stuck with me. And I don't know if it was like a meme or a vine or a song or something, but it was like, don't put it there, put it where it goes.

SPEAKER_04: 3:52

Don't put it down, put it where it goes.

SPEAKER_00: 3:53

Don't put it down, put it where it goes. I always think of that.

SPEAKER_04: 3:57

It happens to me all the time, and I'm just putting it down, and I'm like, don't put it down, and I'm just always put it down, and I'm just like, why didn't he put it where it goes? Bro, that is the perfect transition into this week's topic. You think into this new series that we have. Yeah, it's because it's temptation. We're talking about temptation. I say that it's it's the perfect transition because it's just like sin. Don't do that, do what God says, don't put it down, put it where it goes.

SPEAKER_00: 4:19

Welcome to Love by Faith, guys. Selena and Kyle Almodova are here.

SPEAKER_04: 4:24

Selena, I'm Kyle.

SPEAKER_00: 4:26

And together we're Catwoman. No. We are so happy that you guys have returned. If you guys are have been listeners, if you've been day ones, thank you for for coming back for season three. We appreciate you. If you're listening for the first time, hi, welcome. We're glad that you're here. And we're starting a fresh new season, and every single month we like to focus on one topic and and just go through with it. We have series, and you guys can go back and listen to all the series that we had, and we have a new series for you guys today, and we're really excited to share it. It's something that um carried into from season two. You know, we we wanted to share it and we just didn't have the time and space to do it, and so we rolled it over into season three because we think it's that important. We think couples struggle with this a lot, and we really didn't want to put it down until we were able to go through it.

SPEAKER_04: 5:15

So when we planned out this season, we we were looking at our ideas and had our idea book, and this was one where the Holy Spirit was really like, This cannot be left out because it's such a a real topic and such a real uh challenge in marriages. Yes, because the the way temptation falls in can be different for for guys and for girls and for every marriage.

SPEAKER_00: 5:36

Absolutely, absolutely. And so with today's episode, like you said, it is the temptation to look, not just with wandering eyes, right? As we talked about earlier, it's with wandering hearts, it's with wandering spirits, it's with wandering attention, wandering temptation, wandering words, all of the things I think couples constantly are tempted to look away from their marriage and look away from God as the solution for the marriage.

SPEAKER_04: 6:08

Right. Wow. So when it comes to temptation and temptation, tempted to look, being tempted to look, yeah, where are women tempted to look?

SPEAKER_00: 6:16

It's such a loaded question because not all women are the same, right? Okay, but I would like to think, you know, generalizing where, you know, when you look on social media and you look at movies, how women are portrayed, they often look for the escape of their stress and of their troubles. They look at they look for gossip. Okay, they look at alcohol, they look for wine. A lot of women go to wine as their like way to unwind and way to like cope with things.

SPEAKER_01: 6:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 6:53

They look for work husbands, they look for friendships, you know, they look for another man to talk about their man about.

SPEAKER_01: 7:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 7:03

And they might think that it's harmless because they're like, I just want to get your opinion because you're a guy, but it ultimately turns into emotional dumping.

SPEAKER_01: 7:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 7:14

You know, same thing with their girlfriends. If you're like going to your girlfriend to vent, you're trying you're looking for a way to emotionally dump.

SPEAKER_01: 7:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 7:22

You know, and the w the places that they go for that is either with other people talking about your situation, going to everyone except your husband, you know, or you're trying to self-medicate with your with your wine.

SPEAKER_04: 7:39

Wow. And reality TV. So wine, reality TV, escapism. So they're tempted to just they're tempted to just escape. Instead of tempted to look, they're tempted to ignore. Is that what that is?

SPEAKER_00: 7:52

It's not, I don't think it's ignoring. It's it's impossible to ignore it. I think it they just at this point they feel kind of almost helpless.

SPEAKER_04: 8:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 8:06

Because guys can be so stuck in their ways and they could be so stubborn to change, or they could become so guarded and defensive where they are not gonna talk and they're not gonna open up. And so they feel like I've been fighting this battle on my own for so long. I need to share this energy somewhere. I need to transfer this energy. How can I, who can I transfer this energy to? And so they vent and so they cry out and they complain and they they they talk down about their spouse and they they they ridicule their spouse and they they they just disrespect him behind his back, you know, in the in a sense of venting and in a sense of complaining and in a sense of lamenting, yeah, you know, and it turns into this really um dark place.

SPEAKER_04: 8:55

And you talked about the the attempted to to um well, yeah, you just said it. You said it's attempted to dump their energy onto other people. So they're they're tempted to look outside the marriage to replace that emotional need. Absolutely. That need for emotional support, that's what they're doing.

SPEAKER_00: 9:15

Absolutely. Okay, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04: 9:17

And then you also said that attempted to look turns into to to gossip.

SPEAKER_00: 9:24

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 9:24

How how so?

SPEAKER_00: 9:25

Oh yeah, because if I'm talking to my friend and I'm like, Kyle did it again, Kyle blah blah blah blah blah. And he did this, and I can't believe he did that and all this stuff. And so now you're talking about that guy who's not in the room to defend himself, who's not in the room to talk about his own character. So now you're talking about your husband behind his back, it's it's gossip at the end of the day. You know, we're we're gossiping about this. And is this necessarily helping or is it hindering? You know, and for who knows who this friend is, yeah, but the friend could then all of a sudden be like, you need to leave him. He's not good for you. Wow, you know, that he's a buster. Like we always knew that this is what was gonna happen. You're like, who we don't know what side of the of the friendship this friend is, you know, or heaven forbid, you know, you're talking to a man at work, your your work husband or your colleague, you're talking to um an elder at the church, or you're talking to a person at the church, and you think you can trust these people, but who knows what their intentions are? And they could just kind of lure you and and show you, like, well, that's not how he's supposed to be. Like, well, that's not a man. Yeah, you know, that's not how a husband's supposed to act. And now all of a sudden your thoughts are, well, now my vision has shifted to this is my husband, my supporter, my provider, the person I've made vows with, to all of a sudden you're the example that I should have been following. He's nothing, but you are showing a different light of what a man should be, right? Okay, you're showing me what a man should look like, you're showing me what a man should act like, you're showing me what a marriage, you know, what what we have a good connection. Yeah. How come that connection is not over there? So now you're looking away from your husband and looking away from how he can fix this problem together with you and him. And now you're like, hmm, maybe the problem is just gonna be broken. Maybe I need to look to another source for to find the solution.

SPEAKER_04: 11:26

Man, that is that is such a good thing for husbands to hear, like to think about that and get into that. Really? Well, we'll dig into it when we talk about the guys. Okay, but that is really I want to get back to that. Pennant. Okay. Yeah, that's a really good thing for the guys to hear. The other part of that you said you started with talking about gossip.

SPEAKER_01: 11:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 11:42

And I I remember, I don't know which pastor it was, but the pastor defined gossip. And he's like, what is gossip? Because it's kind of vague, it's kind of subjective. Yeah. And it's one of those like, I'll know it when I see it. But but you don't. And he defined gossip as gossip is sharing somebody else's sins to somebody else. So if if you're sharing Kyle's sins to your friend, I don't know, make a name, Marie.

SPEAKER_00: 12:08

Yeah. More.

SPEAKER_04: 12:09

You're you're gossiping about Kyle. Yeah. So if I'm sharing Selena's sins to to Pete, yeah, I'm I'm gossiping about Selena.

SPEAKER_00: 12:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 12:17

And I can't imagine I love you. I can't imagine gossiping about my wife, right?

SPEAKER_00: 12:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 12:22

Now, is there a line there where has to be a line? Who am I allowed to to vent to and who am I allowed? Like, how do you work that out?

SPEAKER_00: 12:31

I feel like there has to be a line because if you're only just verbally dumping all of these things, because you have to talk about it, like, and sometimes, like, yes, counseling is great, therapy is great, but sometimes you just gotta get it out and you gotta get it out to a person you can trust, you know, because you gotta be vulnerable and you gotta be transparent, you gotta, you gotta let this out. And so going to the person that's gonna point you back to God.

SPEAKER_04: 12:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 13:00

Okay. If you have this conversation and there's no fixing, there's no like, I hear you, I hear your heart, yeah, I hear what's going on. How are we getting God back into this? You know, if you're just dumping just to dump and it's just you guys are just bashing, right? If you're just bashing, don't talk about it with that person. That might not be a good source to that's not a good source. Because now you're you're you're only getting pulled down further. If you can go to somebody that you can confide in and trust, who you know is gonna keep you accountable and who's gonna hold you back to, well, the God's what are you doing with your husband? How like if they're not redirecting you back to the marriage and back to God, then don't have that conversation with that person.

SPEAKER_04: 13:48

Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 13:49

And I think that's the line. I think that's the line is if you know that that person is gonna help you and not hinder you, then be open and transparent to know that you're gonna you might get corrected.

SPEAKER_01: 14:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 14:03

And to know that you might get challenged in your way of thinking and in your way of feeling because they might tell you about yourself. My best friend tells me about myself all the time. Right. And sometimes I'll be like, hold up. Like, no, she didn't just say that. And then after a while, I'm like, wait, I'm not gonna talk to her for a minute. And then I think about it and I'm like, dang, she was right. Like, dang, I was about myself. Like, like she holds me accountable, and that's why I love her so much, because you need those type of people in your life. And when you're going through it with your spouse, sometimes when you're going through it with your spouse, all you see is you and him. You don't see the outside world. So when you're going through it with that person, that third party perspective, having an having that unbiased perspective that's gonna point you back to your spouse. Yeah, you know, someone who is just as committed to your vows as you are, yeah, then it it helps. And sometimes you need that.

SPEAKER_04: 15:05

That's that encouraging voice that you need to be searching for instead of that. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 15:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 15:10

Well, I know I know women aren't the only ones who are tempted to look.

SPEAKER_00: 15:15

Absolutely. Right.

SPEAKER_04: 15:16

So what do what do women want to know about the guys being tempted to look?

SPEAKER_00: 15:21

Hey everyone, we hope that you're enjoying this episode. And right now, we want to just take a small minute to introduce to you the latest thing that we created to help you elevate your relationship and take it to the next level. It's called the Love by Faith playbook.

SPEAKER_04: 15:36

Every good coach knows they have to have winning plays. We went through our foundation series and we pulled out some of the best winning plays and created strategies for you guys. Plays like how to be better financially, how to do ministry together, how to be better romantically, how to be better family life. We went through all these different areas from the foundation series and put it together in a playbook.

SPEAKER_00: 15:57

So grab your love by faith playbook today. You can use the link in the description below, enter it. And the good news about this is that it is a living document. So you download it one time, and every single month, we are gonna be updating this document to give you fresh new plays to help you and your partner love by faith and create a winning season. Go ahead and get your love by faith playbook now, and let's get back into this episode.

SPEAKER_04: 16:27

All right, what do the girls want to know?

SPEAKER_00: 16:29

Oh my gosh, where do I even begin? Guys, why do you guys always look at other women when they walk past and when they're on TV?

SPEAKER_04: 16:38

I'm gonna put caution you, you use the word always, use one of those bad marriage words. No, this is it's really good because it's not always, it's not all guys, but we are tempted to look away at physical things because men are mostly visual creatures. We are we're visual stimuli, it comes back to that hunter-gatherer time of our long past, right? We've only been in the technology age for barely over a hundred years. Okay, and so for all those hundreds of years before that, we were hunter-gatherers and we had to see the prey, get the prey, and finish it. And so that has to be wired out of us. And for a lot of us, we're exposed very young to visual stimuli. Okay, that we had no that that we're even all of our friends were like, hey, look at this. Hey, look at that, look at her. The whole oh, that's a six, oh, that's an eight. That whole thing, dang, it starts very young.

SPEAKER_00: 17:39

Wow, how young? How young? Because we have young boys.

SPEAKER_04: 17:41

Every case is different, right? It's not a general always.

SPEAKER_00: 17:43

What was the generation for you?

SPEAKER_04: 17:45

Second grade-ish.

SPEAKER_00: 17:46

Second grade, yeah, man.

SPEAKER_04: 17:48

My uncles had posters on the in the garage, bro.

SPEAKER_00: 17:51

That was when the Playboy and the Bay Watch and all that stuff was really big. Pam Anderson era.

SPEAKER_04: 17:56

Yeah. And so guys are are tempted to look just because it's there, not because they want it, not because they not because they are well gonna chase it, but just because it's there. Because it's it's a it's like a squirrel with oh, there's a nut. Oh, there's a nut.

SPEAKER_00: 18:10

Oh, there's a nut.

SPEAKER_04: 18:11

Same kind of thing. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00: 18:13

Okay, so when times are tough and men so you're saying that a woman walks by when you're on a date, you know, we see that famous meme where the guy is holding the girl and then he's looking behind her because he sees another girl walking by. Right, that is just a squirrel moment.

SPEAKER_04: 18:33

Yeah. Well, if you're looking that hard, if you're turning your whole neck, turn your whole body, that went beyond a squirrel moment. But when it's that quick eye glance, that's a squirrel moment.

SPEAKER_00: 18:43

But if he's turning all the way 180 degrees, and you're saying that's not tied to an emotional, like I want to Longing?

SPEAKER_04: 18:51

No, no, yes, I'm saying it's not tied to an emotional thing at all, it's purely a physical reaction, a reflex.

SPEAKER_00: 18:58

So when my reflex reflexes your reflex, can that's real, that's real.

SPEAKER_04: 19:04

No, as as husbands, I'm getting an application there. As husbands, we have to work on that reflex. Yeah, control that reflex and have covenant eyes and have eyes only for her. And when we're thinking like, oh, there goes a butt, there goes a butt. Boom, right there on your wife. Right there on your wife.

SPEAKER_00: 19:25

I see it too, and I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04: 19:28

As gentlemen, we're like that. We try, I try to be better than that. And I think most Christian men try to be better than that and not have that that temptation. We have to fight it every day though.

SPEAKER_00: 19:38

Yeah. Every day. Yeah. There's there's a lot of men who will try to, you know, if there's problems in the house, they will look away. So they'll either, you know, watch a lot more sports than normal, and they would prefer to they would prefer to um disassociate by you know, tinkering in their man cave or their garage, or you they they're hanging out with friends a lot more. It's like they don't want to come home or they don't want to have the hard talks, and so they're looking towards distractions, like their screens. Great example, you know, all of these things. And so tell us a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_04: 20:16

Great examples, right? Yeah, looking towards towards their shed, towards their man cave, yes, looking towards their screens, looking towards their sports, looking towards their their obsessive hobbies.

SPEAKER_03: 20:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 20:27

That is not looking outward, that's looking inward, they're internalizing there. Oh, and so they're tempted to look look inside for the solution, look inside for figuring it out.

SPEAKER_00: 20:37

How?

SPEAKER_04: 20:38

Explain break this down because we're not looking out to go research how to fix the problem or looking at what is making me need to zone out on my phone for 45 minutes at a time, or sit on the toilet for an hour and a half. Right. We're looking internal, we're looking inside for that. We're not looking to what is going to fix this problem or what is going to satisfy me enough here. And so all those internal searches, all those disassociating things are just looking inside to fill a void that they can be they they should be searching spiritually to fill.

SPEAKER_01: 21:17

Right.

SPEAKER_04: 21:18

Or searching in their in their marriage to fulfill.

SPEAKER_01: 21:22

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 21:23

Now hobbies are great, right? Time in your man cave is needed. Time golfing is needed, time fishing is needed for men to recharge and regroup.

SPEAKER_00: 21:32

100%.

SPEAKER_04: 21:33

But there is a line where it's too much. If and if it's causing friction in your spouse, if your spouse is like, you're going golfing again, you just went for five hours last Saturday.

SPEAKER_01: 21:43

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04: 21:44

Right? So you have to balance that. And that looking that looking to to disassociate, that looking to look inside is the temptation for the solution instead of looking up.

SPEAKER_00: 21:56

So would that be would that be in comparison to like women drinking the wine? Like they're just looking for that escape out.

SPEAKER_04: 22:02

Yeah, that's like that's perfect.

SPEAKER_00: 22:05

So tell me, Kyle, what would in your opinion, what would you think would be the most dangerous looking away that a man often struggles with?

SPEAKER_04: 22:15

So more dangerous than the looking at a butt. The squirrel. The more dangerous no, the hard turn. The hard turn.

SPEAKER_00: 22:22

The hard turn. The hard turn.

SPEAKER_04: 22:29

Yes. Is the confiding in another woman. Confiding and having a work wife is the most dangerous.

SPEAKER_00: 22:38

Does that happen a lot?

SPEAKER_04: 22:40

From my experience, thankfully, in thankfully in my life, I have a lot of guys who are solid Christian men in my circle. But from from experience, that is the most dangerous looking.

SPEAKER_01: 22:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 22:57

You're looking for that friendship fulfillment. You're looking for that acceptance. You're looking for that that hunger to see you and just to be kind to you, right? Because like just think at at work, it's it's in the um it's in the love and respect book. I know I go back to this a lot, but it was a powerful book. The the wife experienced the husband at work and saw how how the his co-workers who were females talked to him and treated him and just gave him with the utmost respect because he was there, he was above them in the in the hierarchy at work. But seeing that changed her perspective because then he comes home to her and she's called shouldering him and she's being all these kinds of way disrespectful, small disrespectfuls, right? We micro disrespect.

SPEAKER_00: 23:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 23:41

But seeing the the true respect he gets in the workplace change that perspective for her.

SPEAKER_00: 23:46

That could even happen in church settings, you know. If you have a a a leader, a ministry leader, and they're getting that kind of respect, and then they're they're filled with the Holy Spirit, and then these women, oh, you can help me because you're you're filled, you're spiritually filled, and so they're getting that kind of treatment and that kind of attention in that setting versus at home.

SPEAKER_04: 24:04

Yeah. Men have a need to feel desired.

SPEAKER_00: 24:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 24:07

And if if we're not feeling desired or wanted or craved by our partner, it's gonna throw us off. And we're gonna seek we we start by seeking that with our spouse, right? Doing the nice things, doing the extra things to get her to be like, hey, you're great, you know? And when that's missing, when that's lacking, guys are gonna search for it.

SPEAKER_00: 24:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 24:29

And that's that's a hard look.

SPEAKER_03: 24:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 24:31

What's up, love by faith family? We want to say thank you so much for your support in watching and engaging in every single episode that we have put out thus far. We could not have made it this far without you.

SPEAKER_04: 24:43

That's right. And we want to grow more, we want to create new resources, we want to increase our reach, and we want to provide more for you guys. But the only way to make that happen is for you to come alongside and partner with us to sow a seed into this ministry to help it grow.

SPEAKER_00: 24:58

Because at the end of the day, it's not about getting new equipment or putting out new resources, it's about expanding the kingdom, it's about creating godly marriages. And we can do that if you partner alongside us with your financial support. There's a link below that you can click on. You can contribute one time or you can partner with us on a monthly basis and help us sow a seed so that love by faith can continue to grow and reach the masses.

SPEAKER_04: 25:25

If you want to see this ministry grow, follow the link below and thank you. We thank you for giving and for being just part of this journey with us.

SPEAKER_00: 25:33

So that together we can love by faith.

SPEAKER_04: 25:37

Love by faith, y'all. That's not a joke.

SPEAKER_00: 25:43

Love by faith is a joke.

SPEAKER_04: 25:44

Love by faith, y'all is not a joke.

SPEAKER_00: 25:46

That's not our tagline.

SPEAKER_04: 25:47

It's a catchphrase.

SPEAKER_00: 25:49

Can you please just use the link and click below and we would be grateful. In Jesus' name.

unknown: 25:56

Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 25:56

So we talked about the problems of looking away in women. We talked about the problems of looking away among men.

SPEAKER_04: 26:04

Sorry, I got one more look.

SPEAKER_00: 26:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_04: 26:06

To just to go back to because I think we missed it.

SPEAKER_00: 26:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_04: 26:10

The looking for the the physical replacement.

SPEAKER_03: 26:14

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04: 26:15

Because there's times when women, when in the marriage, naturally, there's less intimacy, there's less physical connection.

SPEAKER_00: 26:22

Oh, I think I know. Than can be.

SPEAKER_04: 26:24

And so the guys look to replace that. And they might not want to cheat. They might not want to want to uh go find another woman, right? But they're gonna look to those themselves. Those yes, themselves and porn and raunchy movies, or if they're a book guy, raunchy books, right, and replace that intimacy, they're gonna look for that intimacy in other ways. By themselves. By themselves. So they're looking internal, but they're looking for them. Same thing with women.

SPEAKER_00: 26:54

You had the whole fifty shades of gray type. Yeah, you know, the what do they call them? Smut smut novels.

SPEAKER_04: 27:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 27:02

Where they're they're looking to get that pleasure out.

SPEAKER_04: 27:05

Yeah. And so all of these looks, all of these looks are the temptations that that we face as husbands and wives.

SPEAKER_00: 27:12

Yes. And I'm sure we're gonna, you know, as the month progresses, we're gonna talk more about each individual temptation, you know, but just the thought of looking. Right now, we're only talking about you're tempted to look away. Right. You know, if this is you're if if you've had a couple hits here and there where you're like, I I did, I have, you know, as you're listening to this, you're starting to do a reflection of yourself and you're like, I I have looked away. I haven't done anything, but I have looked away.

SPEAKER_04: 27:45

Oh man, they're speaking to me.

SPEAKER_00: 27:47

You know, yes, yes. This is this is why we're here. So if somebody is there, yeah, what can we say to help them before it gets too far?

SPEAKER_04: 27:57

Yeah. Well, I'm gonna go for the guys. The for us, it's accountability, it's having someone we trust and getting close to them to get to that place where we can share what we're struggling with, what our wife is driving us crazy about, and and grow and speak life into each other about that. So that's where I would start with the guys. Where would you start with the with the ladies?

SPEAKER_00: 28:18

I would say uh they have to be vocal about what is happening. And, you know, obviously you take it first to your spouse and you try to be vocal with them. If they're in a position where they're not gonna hear you or they choose not to hear you, they brush you off, they gaslight you, etc., then you have to go to someone else and you have to talk about it with an expectation that there's gonna be some form of help or a solution to help you, you know, get you back.

SPEAKER_04: 28:46

Constructive feedback.

SPEAKER_00: 28:47

Constructive feedback, constructive, you know, criticism, correction, loving correction, yeah, all of that stuff.

SPEAKER_04: 28:53

I think secondly, I would think for guys is to guard your technology because that is a great that is a big place where we look outside and are tempted to to sin.

SPEAKER_01: 29:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 29:08

So guard your technology, whether it's through a third-party app that blocks your phone, whether it's through deleting apps and deactivating accounts, we need to look to that protection to watch for looking for sin.

SPEAKER_00: 29:19

That's very good. I would also say, you know, a a big part of it is where is Christ at in your life? You know, are you are you coping with Christ?

SPEAKER_01: 29:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 29:30

Are you coping with Christ because at the end of the day, the phone, the the external events, the wine, all of these at some point can become idols, all of these things can become tools that you are using to lean on. And the only thing that we should be leaning on is God and God alone. And so if you feel like your version of God is not strong enough to lean over. On to get you through a conflict or to get you through a hard season, then you have to do some more inner work to truly build up the relationship that you have with the Father. Right.

SPEAKER_04: 30:13

That's good. I think the last application is just like you said. Everything when we're tempted to sin, every time we're tempted to sin, is just tempting us to be further from God.

SPEAKER_01: 30:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 30:24

Right. And so the response, as you said, is to do the opposite thing to get closer to God.

SPEAKER_03: 30:30

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04: 30:30

So if you're tempted to look at a screen, get tempted to look at a Bible on your screen. Get tempted to look at a preaching or a sermon notes on your screen.

SPEAKER_03: 30:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 30:40

And replace that.

SPEAKER_03: 30:41

Sermon or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 30:42

That that temptation, that temptation to sin needs to be replaced with a temptation towards Christ, towards towards your word, towards your connection with the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_00: 30:51

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I'm sure, you know, if you go to the Bible app, there are Bible studies that are all about temptation.

SPEAKER_04: 31:01

Avoiding temptation.

SPEAKER_00: 31:02

Avoiding the temptation. And not only that, but uh our couple's playbook. We're gonna have a new resource for you guys for this series on temptation. And it is going to be about accountability questions that you can ask your spouse and you can ask your closest friends to help you stay in check, to help you redirect those thoughts and those looks back to your spouse and back to your father, your Lord, your savior, Jesus Christ. That's right. So you can go ahead and download that. There's a link in the description if you don't have that free playbook already. And that is the most recent resource. There's already about eight or nine resources already in there that you can also have. Yes. And you guys can enjoy that and download it and use it and start asking those questions today if this is something that you're struggling with.

SPEAKER_04: 31:51

We put these things together to help marriages grow, to help marriages thrive. And we are just grateful that you're here with us.

SPEAKER_01: 31:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 31:58

And right now we're in the middle of a crowdfunding campaign. And we really love, if you love our podcast, if you'd partner with us and be part of that crowdfunding, we're thankful for every listener we have, and we want to do more and better for you guys. And so follow the link below to donate and contribute to the crowdfunding campaign that we're doing this season.

SPEAKER_00: 32:18

Yes, we would love and appreciate uh wholeheartedly if you guys can sow the seed to help us create more godly marriages. Absolutely. Um, I think this was a great first episode back. It feels so good to be back.

SPEAKER_04: 32:31

I love being out here with our doing this for helping marriages. And you know, every time we meet with a couple and talk through things and help, it just is it's one of those moments where I'm walking in what God has called me to. Absolutely. And I'm grateful for my parents and the beautiful marriages I've seen throughout my life so that I can pour out those lessons that I've seen in real life to others and help young or old or middle-age people have great marriages.

SPEAKER_00: 33:01

Amen. Amen. So we want to continue doing that with you guys. And we hope that this episode is something that edified and helped bless you guys as a marriage unit or as a relationship unit, if you're a serious couple, or even if you're just a single listening, you know, trying to be proactive and make sure that you are catching all the blind spots before you do find that person that you can get involved with. So we hope that this was an encouraging episode for you. And we want to close out in some prayer. Absolutely. Help these people who might be struggling with looking and who might be struggling with temptation. We want to lift you up right now so that you can take this away and and and just bring it back to the Father.

SPEAKER_04: 33:39

Can you can you Absolutely? All right, you know, Lord, Jesus, our Father in heaven, we are grateful that you have called us by name, that you've adopted us into your family, Lord, that your Holy Spirit resides in our hearts, Lord. I lift up everyone today who is listening to this podcast. I pray that your Holy Spirit is ministering to them, Lord, that you are pushing on their heart to avoid temptation, Lord, that you have opened their eyes to see maybe hidden temptations that they're facing, hidden sin that they're dealing with, Lord. And I pray that they're able to be honest with themselves and that they're able to take steps to apply and change and move closer to towards your will, which is all we want each day.

SPEAKER_02: 34:20

Yes, Lord.

SPEAKER_04: 34:20

We give you the glory for all of it. Let none of it be in our own strength and our own power, Lord, but let all of it be in your power and by your will.

unknown: 34:27

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04: 34:28

In Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_00: 34:30

Amen. Thank you guys so much for tuning in, listening, watching. If you're watching on YouTube, please be sure to like, share, subscribe. If you guys are listening on any of the podcast platforms, please be sure to leave us a great review or a five-star tap. We'll do just fine. We love you, and we hope you guys will tune in next week as we continue on this conversation of temptation. And we hope you guys have a great rest of your week.

SPEAKER_04: 34:52

I hope you're tempted to come back.

SPEAKER_00: 34:54

Yay! Yes, yes, I like that. Have a good one. Bye guys. Hooray.

SPEAKER_04: 35:04

I thought you forgot about the closing prayer. No, I was ready. I was ready.

SPEAKER_00: 35:08

No, me forget. Come on. I have the memory of an elephant.

SPEAKER_04: 35:15

I mean, yes, you have that memory. Bremse meaning I thought, like, she didn't remember to close in prayer. Uh oh. I thought you were about to hit the five-star.

SPEAKER_00: 35:23

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Prayer before five stars. Always.

SPEAKER_04: 35:27

That's right.

SPEAKER_00: 35:28

Prayer before a like, share, and subscribe. You know, if you pray for us and that's all you do, then hey, that's enough. I mean, also donate, but also like and do the things, but you know, prayer is definitely overpowering all those things.

SPEAKER_03: 35:43

Great talk today, man.

SPEAKER_00: 35:44

It was really, it was deep. I'm glad you brought up the thing about the the the porn and and looking inwardly, because that is a thing.

SPEAKER_04: 35:51

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: 35:52

And I'm sure we're gonna talk about that in another episode. Sure. Right.

SPEAKER_04: 36:00

That's and withholding their their body from their husband is just as yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 36:06

It's just as clearly we got a lot more to talk about.

SPEAKER_04: 36:08

Right. Yeah. That's fun.

SPEAKER_00: 36:12

Cool. Good job. I gotta go.

SPEAKER_03: 36:13

All right. Where are you going? I gotta I gotta edit this thing.

SPEAKER_00: 36:16

You gotta work.

SPEAKER_03: 36:16

I gotta do I gotta work. All right. I gotta work. Have fun at work. I gotta work. Goodbye. Now I get to work. Yay!

SPEAKER_00: 36:23

Now I get to work.

SPEAKER_04: 36:24

I see you. The kids are at school. You don't look like someone who's gotta go.

SPEAKER_00: 36:30

I know.

SPEAKER_04: 36:30

Remember when I had to go, I would always get up and run away.

SPEAKER_00: 36:32

He was running. Yeah. Well, I work upstairs, so you work miles away. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 36:38

There's a difference. Praise the Lord.