SPRING CLEANING: Raising Two Under Two | Love By Faith with Kyle & Selina Almodovar #072

In this episode, we share our experience of raising two under two! The parenting good, bad, and ugly when two young kids decide to have two young kids!

We dive deep into one of our most challenging life seasons - having two children under the age of two and share what it was truly like, from sleep deprivation to finding personal identity amid constant demands.

• The reality behind the advice to "have kids close together"
• How having children 18 months apart strengthened our marriage through necessity
• Setting realistic expectations when parenting young children close in age
• The importance of community and avoiding isolation as young parents
• Finding small ways to maintain your identity when completely overwhelmed
• The unique bond that forms between siblings who are close in age
• Why the transition from one to two children is often the hardest
• How giving each other breaks and personal time saved our sanity
• Navigating overlapping postpartum experiences and pregnancy
• The season does eventually become manageable, usually around the five-year mark

If parenting is part of your journey, we're so glad you're here with us to go through it together. Don't forget to love your family by faith, and know that the seeds you're planting in your children will grow and flourish.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Challenge of Two Under Two
• 5:08 Setting the Stage as Young Parents
• 13:00 The Benefits of Close Age Siblings
• 18:57 Building a Stronger Marriage Through Hardship
• 28:28 Surviving Postpartum with Multiple Children
• 34:18 Encouragement and Prayer for Parents

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Having two small kids under the age of two.

Speaker 2: 0:04

Yeah, two young kids with two young kids.

Speaker 1: 0:06

It was one of the hardest seasons of my entire life.

Speaker 2: 0:10

It's the most fun I never want to have again.

Speaker 1: 0:13

We're not perfect people.

Speaker 2: 0:15

By any means.

Speaker 1: 0:16

But by trusting in God we learned what it takes to build a friendship.

Speaker 2: 0:20

A relationship.

Speaker 1: 0:22

And marriage that has stood the test of time.

Speaker 2: 0:26

With a keeping it real style. We're going to talk to you about everything everything that we've been through are going through and have overcome all by learning how to lean on God and each other in order to help you learn how to love by Faith. Morning, Selena Good morning. Love by Faith podcast. Spring cleaning. What spring would get here, man? It's so cold again still, it just keeps on being cold.

Speaker 1: 1:05

It just makes me want to stay in my bed until it comes out.

Speaker 2: 1:08

The groundhog.

Speaker 1: 1:10

I must have been a groundhog at some point. That's funny. When Jesus was creating me in my mother's womb, he probably was, like she should probably be a groundhog. No, no, no, no, no, I'm going to make her human.

Speaker 2: 1:21

Like on the video games where you're scrolling through all the characters. Yeah, Groundhog.

Speaker 1: 1:25

He kept going back to the groundhog and was like hmm.

Speaker 2: 1:28

No, no Selena.

Speaker 1: 1:32

She would be a good one, though she would really make a good groundhog.

Speaker 2: 1:36

Creation roulette in heaven.

Speaker 1: 1:38

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:39

It's funny. So I'm going to ask you just a totally different. Go a different direction here. Yeah, what do you miss the most from having babies? Like literally having a baby in your house?

Speaker 1: 1:48

The smell of a baby.

Speaker 2: 1:50

Dang it. You took my answer, you did.

Speaker 1: 1:53

And then you know how. You know there's some people who try to bottle that smell. Oh, yeah, like they have like the candle wax scent and it's supposed to be like new baby scent. No, you can never recreate and it's supposed to be like new baby scent?

Speaker 2: 2:05

No, you can never recreate. I mean just no, their skin just has. I don't know if it's like the smell of innocence or what, but it just the smell of innocence. I love my. I miss my baby smelling so fresh.

Speaker 1: 2:13

It's like their breath smells good, their body smells good.

Speaker 2: 2:19

You just want to just it's just so uncorrupted, it's just a little.

Speaker 1: 2:25

I. It's just so uncorrupted, it's just little. I'll never forget it was your baby, usually after the first year, like once they have their first year, and then that you get that first whiff of like morning breath they start eating solid food. Yeah and you're like dang it.

Speaker 2: 2:34

The baby smells gone, oh man yeah yeah maybe that first big gas, and then it's just like, oh, no now we got a human. Now we have a kid used to be a baby.

Speaker 1: 2:46

Now it's just a kid, right what's up everybody?

Speaker 2: 2:50

we are in the spring cleaning series last week of spring cleaning.

Speaker 1: 2:54

Let's go.

Speaker 2: 2:54

We didn't do any spring cleaning in our house, but we cleaned out our podcast notebook. That's great house looks great, that's all right.

Speaker 1: 3:02

We gotta clean it, though, bro you're hard on yourself with that gotta deep clean these edges we're glad you're here. As you heard in our icebreaker, we're talking about kids today the last part of our book that we needed to clean out had to do with a little bit of parenting okay, but not specifically us with kids and sharing our testimony of being parents. It was more so specific to having two small kids under the age of two.

Speaker 2: 3:33

Two under two. Oh yeah, in our notebook it was like-.

Speaker 1: 3:36

Two young kids with two young kids, yeah two young kids with two young kids.

Speaker 2: 3:41

Yes, that's a good one.

Speaker 1: 3:42

Yes, that's catchy. Because there are a lot of people out there who decide to have children close in age. We think they say it's a good idea. They say to do it that way. They say you know, Whoever they are. Have kids close in age, they'll be best friends. They said. You'll get through all the diapers in one, in one large sum, and then you're done.

Speaker 2: 4:07

They said I agree with that part we did that.

Speaker 1: 4:09

They didn't tell us how hard it was gonna be, though how crazy it was. One of the hardest seasons of my entire life was to have two babies under the age of two my line about it is always it's the most fun.

Speaker 2: 4:25

I never want to have again, yes, that season I don't think there was seven nights in a row of good sleep for very four to six years there wasn't consistency at all, right for the first four to six years.

Speaker 1: 4:41

There was no rhythm, there was no natural up and down, it was just chaos like chaos gardening. It was chaos parenting not to be like hey guys, don't ever do this. And you're hearing this, you're hearing our testimony. You're like oh snap, I have net we're, we're gonna push our family plan back. Don't like, okay, let's like reset this. Let's talk about the good, let's talk about the bad, let's get into some ugly okay.

Speaker 2: 5:09

Well, let's start with the good. What was, what was the fun parts of having two young kids under two and us being young parents?

Speaker 1: 5:18

well, we have to set the stage okay so to be two young parents yeah we were inexperienced.

Speaker 1: 5:25

We were just newlywed, we were three, four years into our marriage, so we were still figuring marriage out. We were not rich. We were still trying to get out of debt and trying to build our home and trying to establish our family. We were still very much in the foundation, setting roots of our family. Yeah, right, yeah. So then you have the two small kids. It's crazy because when you become a parent, you are told and you see from just media and just all of the propaganda that they throw at you when you're a new parent that you have to have all of these things. Right.

Speaker 2: 6:08

You're talking about like items.

Speaker 1: 6:10

Just items and just regimens, and Okay, routines. All these things. You just have to have everything.

Speaker 2: 6:16

So you're talking about all the different, like parental wisdom, how to be a parent.

Speaker 1: 6:20

Yeah, just like Okay. So the minute you make your appointment at the doctors, they start sending you stuff in the mail, like they. They know that you're pregnant. So you're getting all this stuff in the mail and you know you have to have all these appliances and you have to have baby warmers and you have to have this carrier and you have to have this toy and science and studies show that this is the best way to grow and develop your child. And you have to have this onesie and you have to have this sleeper and you have to have this crib and this mattress and you have to make sure you have all these things. And it could get very overwhelming to a new parent who's like I could have sworn. When I was a baby in the eighties, my parents didn't have all this stuff and I turned out Okay.

Speaker 1: 7:03

And so you're always met with this. It's just, you're always met with this expectation of like you want to give the best you want to be, prepared to offer the best for your children and whatever that best looks like in your head. A lot of times, you're either not financially there- or you're not mentally there or you don't have the time or energy to be present physically there, and it just becomes a really big tornado of things even before the baby even gets there.

Speaker 2: 7:39

Do you think most of that pressure that you felt was described it as external, but do you think it was more internal that you had this drive, that you wanted to provide this amazing environment totally, both, both, both 50, 50 or like more?

Speaker 1: 7:55

I don't know no I don't know that answer okay it was definitely both yeah because, like when we first had william, we we didn't have a whole lot.

Speaker 1: 8:04

We are the toys that we provided for him or the toys that we received at the baby shower. That was pretty much it. Like we didn't have cable, we didn't have, we didn't even have ac. They didn't have a big floor cushiony place. I just had like one little mat and a playpen and a few little stuffed animal toys. Like he wasn't like over the top with things, yeah, we weren't inundated with things when we had their first.

Speaker 2: 8:29

One of the things I think by my side of it would be is you said we waited a few years. We waited like three years before after being married yeah, to have our first son, and you thought that was newlywed still and I thought that three years was huge for us to establish who we were, establish how our marriage flow and to know and understand each other better. I thought that waiting three years was a good move.

Speaker 1: 8:53

You know, it was good timing for us, because we got to the point in our marriage where we were talking about children almost on a daily basis. Oh, we have kids. Oh, once we have kids.

Speaker 1: 9:04

We were able to set a vision yeah for what life with kids was going to look like we were ready to enter into that season of okay, it's, it's coming yeah it's coming. Yeah, so you, you and you asked me earlier, like what was the good part? Right, yeah, so I talked about, like setting the stage I talked about, talked about where we were as a newlywed or three years in. We talked about having that first child, having a little bit of stuff, but then, once we decided we were going to have our second child, they are 18 months apart.

Speaker 2: 9:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 9:38

Okay, so on William's first birthday, that was when we revealed that we were already three, four months pregnant with our second son.

Speaker 2: 9:48

Right.

Speaker 1: 9:49

And so one of the things that I liked about that was now our second son gets to get all of the toys, like we already have all the stock.

Speaker 2: 9:58

Yeah, you know, and so it was an easy, easy thing to just like.

Speaker 1: 10:02

Now they can share all this stuff. Now I felt a little more comfortable, because I felt a little bit more prepared, because we went through all of the things the year before and we have everything that we need. Going to the hospital, we know what to do. We did that routine, yeah, we know what to expect, even though these children are complete opposites and the pregnancies were a little different.

Speaker 1: 10:26

But we kind of went in there knowing like, okay, we already did this, we're going to just rinse and repeat the process, and it was a little less stressful.

Speaker 2: 10:35

Do you feel like the rinse and repeat really held true? Because I'm thinking through this. And when we had William, it was challenging because it was new. You'd never done it, we had never had a newborn in our house. We had to learn all these things. And then Solomon comes and he's a whole. Obviously he's literally a different person, but he's got such a different personality right from jump, right from newborn, and I think for me it balanced, it helped balance it out because of how different he was I was able to feel like, oh wow, this is going to be a great new personality to blend into this and to mold our family more as we were having it.

Speaker 2: 12:26

But as a young you know, a young father with two small boys, I was it. It changed my work ethic, okay, it changed my drive, it changed my life ethic more, having to change that so much more than having one, because at two I was like two kids. Young man, I was like I gotta do so much more to provide for these guys yeah I gotta do so much more to make a way for these guys.

Speaker 2: 12:52

I don't know if one felt comfortable and two was like pushing Okay, but that as a young man, it just. It changed how I saw myself, it changed how I saw my future. It changed how I, it changed my drive that's the only way to say it is. It changed what I wanted to accomplish.

Speaker 1: 13:11

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:12

And I think that was the biggest win.

Speaker 1: 13:14

Wow.

Speaker 2: 13:15

Of having that second kid and it's only in this, reflecting, thinking about, yeah, how it's gonna, you know, and looking back it's. It's a looking back thing, like in the moment. It was. Just it felt natural like all right, I gotta, I gotta do more.

Speaker 1: 13:27

I gotta go more yeah I gotta.

Speaker 2: 13:29

And now I have two people looking up to me. You know, three people looking up to me with you yeah and it's it made me a better man by far awesome.

Speaker 1: 13:38

You are a better man for because of being a father.

Speaker 2: 13:43

Thanks, you're a good father it felt like, uh, it felt like a calling, but then once the calling, once you're there, once you like, once you cross into that promised land, oh man the work that the work didn't end, no Right. Our relationship grew so much in those years, with two kids under two Learning how to talk to each other, learning how to connect in a short time.

Speaker 1: 14:07

Yes.

Speaker 2: 14:07

Learning how to reconnect after a stressful day.

Speaker 1: 14:10

Yes.

Speaker 2: 14:10

Learning how to restart reset. Just shut it down, just say hey, we're exhausted, we're going to sleep. We'll talk about this tomorrow. Yes, I'll take care of that while you take care of this. Yeah, and we'll be done.

Speaker 1: 14:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:24

Dividing conquer.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Yeah, they always say it's harder to go from one to two than to have one or to get go multiples, you know, go into threes, like that. Transition from one child to two children is like the hardest transition because you get used to sacrificing time and planning around one child. You could take your one child anywhere. You know what I mean. You can go anywhere you want, take, take the, you know, with the car seat or with the one stroller, with the one diaper bag. But once you kick it up a notch to two and you have double the things to carry and you have double the, the P, the, the children to to look over. It just becomes so much more of a challenge and, like you were saying, divide and conquer. Like now, if one baby was napping, the other one was up, if one baby needed fed, the other one needed to do something completely different, like we had no we had no breaks.

Speaker 2: 15:25

We thought we'd be able to sink them.

Speaker 1: 15:28

I definitely sink them. Once we, once. You know, after a season or so, I was like no, we, we need to definitely sink them. That was like saving grace was I had to sink the kids, so you were them. That was like saving grace was I had to sink the kids.

Speaker 2: 15:38

So you were able to get their schedule synced.

Speaker 1: 15:40

Absolutely. I was able to get them synced, wow, yeah, I needed to, but one of the hard parts was you have your. Like William was still a baby, he was still a baby, he was still only one and a half, you know. And so now you have to pour all of your time and attention into a newborn who requires total dependency on you.

Speaker 1: 16:03

And it was almost like I wouldn't say mom guilt, but it was almost like I want to spend time with my son, but I also need to spend time with my other son and you're just constantly being pulled back and forth and you're constantly, and you're just constantly being pulled back and forth and you're constantly. You're never going to feel like it's enough.

Speaker 2: 16:20

I never.

Speaker 1: 16:21

I never felt like it was enough time or enough like presence to just say I was able to equally give them all of me, because then I didn't have all of. I'm going through postpartum and we're going through, you know, the feeding schedule and the sleep schedule and all of those things, and so we were just so drained and then you have to pour so much into these small little children who are just depending on you and it was really and I see, I see, when we got to that season, where they were, they were synced.

Speaker 2: 16:54

You know, now that I'm remembering this, like reflecting on it, now that I'm remembering this, like reflecting on it, now that I'm reflecting on it, once they were synced we were able to get into this awesome. I remember the giant stroller walk.

Speaker 2: 17:07

We had the giant double stroller and taking the kids to the park and letting them run and letting them just just be them get dirty, letting them play in the backyard in the little water table and splash stuff, yeah, and all that just beauty that came out of that, yeah, and able to really, as that shifted from two young kids under two to two experienced parents with kids who were two, was just such a growth man I just when you're going through it, you don't see it, but looking back and reflecting on it, it's like wow, that really solidified things Right.

Speaker 2: 17:47

And so that's my encouragement for young parents is it is going to feel fulfilling at some point.

Speaker 1: 17:53

While it's hard and the grind is happening, that does feel fulfilling you know, just to see the bond, because the the bond of the two siblings being so close together. Yeah, you used to say solomon will never remember life without william it's true, because william was always there and pretty much the same.

Speaker 1: 18:13

Thing because he was so young like he. They always remember each other and so there's such a unique bond when you choose to have children in in that close an age that you know at some point when you're planning your family, one of the things that come to mind is oh, if we have a child now? Yeah then they'll play together. Yeah, like it's a, it's kind of selfish well, they have someone to entertain them.

Speaker 1: 18:39

They got someone, like it won't be us anymore, like they can go play with themselves, like it's kind of a little selfish thing but it's true and they do and it's so beautiful to see because they they get into crazy like the one kid would never do the jump into the mud, puddle by themselves and like pretend that they're you know, whatever, whatever If it not been for the other one, like influencing and like coming up with that imagination and just going out and doing that thing together.

Speaker 1: 19:08

It's very beautiful to see and that to me that's kind of like the reminder of like this is why God wanted us to do this. You know, I want to be very clear with you guys. When we were family planning and it was we had a choice. It was between buying a new house or having another child, like literally that was our plan, it was. We were in this setting and we decided to go on a fast. I think it was a whole month where we fasted and we prayed, and I think it was the Daniel fast in January.

Speaker 2: 19:41

That sounds right.

Speaker 1: 19:42

We were like okay, we're at this road, we're in a really good place. We have one child where our marriage is good. We're working towards our debt-free freedom. And so what do we do now, God? Do we buy a new house, or do we, you know? Do we buy a new house to make space for the new person? Because we knew we were going to have more kids, or do we have the new child now In?

Speaker 2: 20:04

this space.

Speaker 1: 20:05

And God really revealed to both of us in that fast, in our own individual time, like you're going to have a child.

Speaker 2: 20:10

Bring the kid.

Speaker 1: 20:11

And so thank the Lord, because this was all God's plan. The family planning in that season was very smooth. We had no complications getting pregnant, we had no complications during the pregnancy. We had no complications with delivery, minus my hips going crazy.

Speaker 2: 20:30

That was a complication, definitely a complication. Yeah, that last month you were out of it, bro, I couldn't walk, yeah, I literally couldn't walk.

Speaker 1: 20:36

And to this day. My hips are kind of bad.

Speaker 2: 20:40

Need lots of attention.

Speaker 1: 20:41

The baby was very healthy, very sound, and God really pulled that miracle through. Amen and we had that. We had that thing and we do believe that it was God's ordinance to bring Solomon in in the season that he did, and who knows why he chose to do that, you know, because that was the beginning of the hard seasons for us. Have you guys ever heard of our hard season series?

Speaker 2: 21:08

Yes.

Speaker 1: 21:09

And so maybe God brought Solomon to help us, you know, go through those hard times and to help William get through those hard times, because he was honestly just that beautiful silver lining of this is a beautiful baby and they're brothers and the beautiful bond of the brothers that we see it was literally the highlight of all of the things.

Speaker 2: 21:33

Yeah, so I go back to what you were saying about that. They'll never forget each other.

Speaker 1: 21:39

Yes.

Speaker 2: 21:39

They'll always remember having each other in their life.

Speaker 1: 21:41

Yes.

Speaker 2: 21:42

Part of my story is I grew up as an only child, okay, so I was 12 when my brother was born, and so I had nobody. I mean, I had my cousins to play with every once in a while, weekends, here and there, I had kids on the street, yeah. But my home life, I was just playing by myself, doing my own things, and that was something that drove me to say there's we got to be able to do. I don't want to say better, but there's got to be a um, there's got to be a way to do this, like it made me, made me feel like I got to do this for my kids so they don't have to go through what I went through yeah and I don't know if that's always the right way to look at things, but it was what I wanted.

Speaker 1: 22:22

It was my vision for my family was to have multiple children honestly, that is what that same exact mindset is, what made me want to have a third child, because I grew up with my older brother and my older brother and I we're probably like 19 months apart.

Speaker 1: 22:41

So we're very close. We're very close. But it was. He was a boy, I was a girl, we were growing up like that and he used to pick on me all the time. Anytime he was bored, he would just come and just pick on me, he would mess with me and he's a very tall person. He's very tall. So he was just shooting up and I'm just this little squeam girl who's playing with Barbies, right?

Speaker 1: 23:05

And he just always picked on me, and so my experience was we need to have three, because if there's only two, at some point they're going to get bored with each other, and then playing turns into I'm bored, I'm going to pick. And so I was like we need to have three to even out the playing. And so that's why I was so ready to have a third child when we got into this new house, because I was like we need to even the playing field.

Speaker 2: 23:33

It's a triangle offense. There's always someone to pass the ball to.

Speaker 1: 23:42

And you see it now like yes, jubilee is a girl and she's, you know, five years younger than our oldest three years younger than our second, but still, when you see that the boys are tired to play with each other, they'll go to her, and when she's tired of playing with them, you know they'll, they'll. They'll all play by themselves at some point. But then when jubilee's tired of playing with one brother, she'll go to the other brother and then, because he was left out of the cert of the playing now he's ready you know it's just it's just such a beautiful dynamic, it's balanced, and so advice for advice for parents for having two kids under two or in, close in close in age.

Speaker 1: 24:15

Okay, what would you say?

Speaker 2: 24:17

I'm gonna just talk to the men here, okay, because it gets. So. I feel like, as the man we had had to stay at home wife. Thankfully we had the job where it was able to to make that a possibility for me. I felt very isolated, right and so, having friends that I was able to talk to regularly outside of you know, selena, yes, that I could just chat, not like serious, not deep Christian philosophical theology discussions.

Speaker 1: 24:46

You're not in that season.

Speaker 2: 24:47

But just someone to talk about the baseball and football and those kind of things, and just someone to you. Know you can unwind with your wife, but having your bro or someone to go fishing would love to go fishing, to go on a camping trip with, to just be able to really keep your own self square, keep your own personality square and nurtured, was a huge win. I know we're talking about being parents, but at the same time you're still a person, you still have personality, and I think another one was giving you time to just be yourself, to be like hey, I got the kids, don't worry about them, don't think about them, don't look back, just go away. Yes, and giving you that space.

Speaker 2: 25:31

Yes, that's essential, and I remember doing the mom weekends where you chose to work, but I would take off a couple days.

Speaker 1: 25:39

That's crazy.

Speaker 2: 25:40

I would take off a couple days, like a Thursday, Friday.

Speaker 1: 25:42

Mom weeks yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:43

And you would just go do whatever you wanted and I was on duty. It was like a work vacation for her because she didn't have to mom as hard as usual.

Speaker 1: 25:52

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:53

And we'd flop. That was another huge win is where I would. I would stay home and wake up and do the kid thing and you would be able to go to your office and do your writing and you wrote books when you had newborns, bro.

Speaker 1: 26:07

You literally published books when you had newborns. I don't know how that happened, yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:11

I take a lot of credit for that. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1: 26:14

You should. You should because, had it not been for you helping with the kids, it was a lot, you know, being a mom, whether you got twins or whether you did it the way we did it. It pays such a toll on women because I was still going through postpartum of having William when I entered into a pregnancy, when I entered into another postpartum season, and so my body was completely out of whack, my hormones were completely out of whack. I didn't know myself at all. It was a very lost season. So that's why I said for me to I think that's why I was pouring so much into writing books and that's why I was so fixated on like I have to have this ministry, I have to have this business going, because I felt like that was the only piece of myself left that I had.

Speaker 2: 27:05

It was your way of taking care of your spirit, your soul.

Speaker 1: 27:07

It was my way of just doing something for me, because when you become a mom and your kids are that small, they constantly need you. You're constantly over-touched, You're constantly picking up messes, You're constantly in a mess, Like you can't even take care of yourself. I've met so many moms where you know just the thought of putting on makeup is a challenge and I it got to the point when I was um, when I had Solomon, where I was like I'm going to put on makeup every single day, not because I'm going anywhere, but because I need this. Not because I need to put on makeup to look good, but I needed to do something to take care of myself. And the postpartum was so real and the time which is you're just submerged into children and babies and making food and burping and potty training, and it was so just, is this all my life is like, is this all that? Is this all that it is?

Speaker 1: 28:10

And then you go out and then there was like a public anxiety of like you go out in public and then you have two kids and you have big Bertha and you have all these things and you're like I, that one is running away, the other one is calm and you're you're trying to battle it and it's just like, is it easier to stay home? I don't know. You know so, yes, how you were saying, you do start to get really isolated and you do start to feel like you're struggling a lot and you're sinking and so putting things in place, whether you have help or if you're just all alone and you're your own island. You reach out to the friends, you reach out to something that is on you know now that I'm unity bro.

Speaker 1: 28:49

Yeah, it's the community and honestly in that season was when I started the mini morning show.

Speaker 2: 28:54

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:55

Yeah, I started the mini morning show in that season because I was like I just need, I need to, I need something, I need to, I need to do something. And for those of you guys who don't know what the mini morning show is, it was my daily two minutes of going live on social media and just sharing whatever came to my mind when I woke up at the first thing in the morning, and I did that consistently until Jubilee was born. I did that for three years Really. I did that until Jubilee was born.

Speaker 2: 29:25

Oh, my God, it didn't feel like that long when it happened, but you did do that a lot.

Speaker 1: 29:30

I did the mini morning show.

Speaker 2: 29:32

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:33

Good, but it was because of that. Women need an escape. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to tell your friends like I'm going through some depression. I'm very angry, I'm starting to grow bitter towards my kids because they won't leave me alone. It is okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to be honest, it's okay to say, hey, I'm not taking care of myself and that's a problem, and I need to figure out what one thing I can do each day to help me remedy that In my case it was putting on lipstick and BB cream.

Speaker 2: 30:07

One of the things I think you take for granted, too, is your journaling.

Speaker 1: 30:10

I journaled a lot in that season and how much that is helpful for you.

Speaker 2: 30:13

Journaling is not for everybody, but for you that was a great, great way that you kept yourself whole and you kept yourself in line For me. I turned to exercise and just stayed in the gym, stayed in the routine of taking care of myself. And it helped me to stay stabilized when all of it was hard, Even on bad sleep and even on stressful nights, stressful days. Keeping that routine of that was helpful.

Speaker 1: 30:44

And encouragement to both parents is it's going to feel like it's never going to end. It's going to feel like there's always something.

Speaker 1: 30:55

It's one thing after another. One kid has a diaper, the other one is throwing up and you're just never going to get to a place where they're just comfortably. Okay, you will. It's going to take a lot longer than what you expected. I think the season where I finally felt like okay, we're okay. Honestly, it was probably like last year when Solomon was was in kindergarten. When they're, when they go, when you get past the five-year mark for both of those children, you know it doesn't matter if there's more down the line, if you can get past the two transition because remember, that transition is always the hardest if you can get the first two past that five-year mark right it becomes.

Speaker 1: 31:43

it becomes it starts to settle.

Speaker 2: 31:44

I'm not going to say it's completely calm, I'm not going to say it's easy, that's for sure, it's not easy, like you're always.

Speaker 1: 31:49

You know bigger kids, bigger problems, but you get into this place where you're confident and you know that, okay, things are going to be okay. Yeah, things are going to be okay. Why do I say that it doesn't matter if more kids come down the way, because they're just getting thrown into the chaos. You're already in a chaotic state, and so just adding one more or two more or three more or however many more you choose to have, literally it's just like well, we've already done this, we already know our balance and our stretches and, and, yeah, our limits. And what's? One more?

Speaker 2: 32:27

what's one more?

Speaker 1: 32:27

what's one more? It's like you're already on the freeway and just adding more kids is just merging into the freeway that's constantly already going so it's like whatever just just bring them in you know jubilee just rolled in and she's so tough because she had the two to take care of her and they worked together, like I said, and so there will be a time when the energy just starts to work itself out. But in those beginning years it takes a lot of effort from you guys, it takes a lot of prayer.

Speaker 2: 32:55

So much prayer.

Speaker 1: 32:56

A lot of just surrender, a lot of surrender to just say, hey, my expectations are out the window, it is what it is. I'm just going to survive. If I just drink my bottle of water and eat something, that's a win for me. If I can get a nap in, that's a win for me. If I can clean one portion of my house, that's a win for me. If I can have a movie night with my husband, that's a win for me. You have to really reduce your expectations, unless you have a whole village helping you and having time where they can tag you out. We did not, and so it was just the small wins that you have to just accept and surrender everything else and know that it is a season and the days are long.

Speaker 2: 33:49

But the years fly by. It's true, man, you know so true. I can't believe that our youngest is four now and we have ministry and friendship and love and We've come a long way, a village around us, and if you look back when we had William and told me that this was going to be the situation, I would have been terrified to have three kids. Three oh yeah, if you tell me all the things that happened to get to here. But I would never change it it's so good, god provided. Yes, absolutely man.

Speaker 1: 34:30

Yeah, and keeping the faith was was essential why don't we, um, wrap that up right here? There's so much more obviously we could talk about when it comes to parenting and babies and kids and all of those things. So if you have any more questions or if you're wondering about anything, feel free to reach out to us on social media or on our YouTube, in the comments or just anywhere. You can shoot us a text if you're listening to the podcast in one of those platforms and we would love to just get back to you and maybe make another episode specifically to address your questions and your needs. So for now, why don't we go ahead and pray for these parents and wrap up this spring cleaning series?

Speaker 2: 35:12

I just feel like the encouragement is that if parenting is part of your journey, parenting will be part of your journey forever, and I just am so glad that you're here with us to go through it together, to share stories and to not just live by faith but to love your family by faith, and I'm just glad to be here.

Speaker 2: 35:36

Lord, we are grateful that you have opened this door for this ministry for discussions about family, about raising kids, about being kids with kids who have no idea what to do and trying to figure it all out. And I pray for the parents listening that they would be encouraged, that they would be strengthened, lord, that you would help them to see that the fruit is on the other side of the season, that the seeds will grow, the seeds that they're planting in their children will grow and flourish. And I pray for harmony in these homes, lord. I pray for balance around these children's lives. I pray for good experiences. I pray, lord, lord, that the husbands would love the wives and the wives would respect the husbands In these hard seasons, and that it would be a picture Of what you've called us to. We give you the glory For all of it In Jesus' name, amen.

Speaker 1: 36:37

Amen. Thanks so much for listening and watching. Please be sure to write a review. Give us a five-star tap if you're listening and if you're on YouTube, like share, subscribe, ding, ding, ding. We hope to see you guys again next week for a whole new series. Don't forget to love by faith y'all.

Speaker 2: 36:54

Have a good week. Love by faith. Welcome to the Mini Morning Show.

Speaker 1: 37:06

Dude, I made mugs and everything for that. It was welcome to the mini morning show.

Speaker 2: 37:08

I can't believe it was three years.

Speaker 1: 37:09

It didn't feel like it was that long in april it was like this year, yeah, and the reason why I stopped was because I had three kids. I couldn't, I couldn't deal with it yeah, I couldn't, couldn't produce it, and every time I tried, even for two minutes, somebody would get in into the camera.

Speaker 2: 37:28

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 37:29

And it started to get to the point where I didn't want to expose my children.

Speaker 2: 37:35

Okay.

Speaker 1: 37:35

And so, because I wanted to keep that part of my life private, I couldn't do the mini morning show in the morning. It started to be afternoon and I'm just like it's not we're getting it out, yeah it's not worth it and, honestly, that's why I don't do a lot of stories and content today, because I just don't. I don't want to put my kids out there like that. You know, I want them to be able to have a choice to expose themselves yeah and because you know with online it's you got to be so safe with it.

Speaker 1: 38:05

So I don't I don't want to make my content just about my children. Yeah, just so people could see my kids.

Speaker 2: 38:13

Right.

Speaker 1: 38:13

Like, if you're coming to me, you're going to see me not them, right, man?

Speaker 2: 38:18

what a season. What a season. You know what else, though I gotta go that's, that's what else. That's what else it's time okay we've reached that point of the week okay, where you gotta go I do my best you do your best, you do what you gotta show up.

Speaker 1: 38:35

I give my all 110 thank you, kyle, I won the buzzer dings. Thank you for your contribution to this podcast. I go. Thank you. Your presence has been blessed by us. Thank you, we appreciate you. Go Bye. I finally released you. I finally said I'm not going to fight it. And you're still here. You said I guess this is the key is to just reverse it all on you. Bye, so long. Don't forget your coffee, mega ultra sized coffee.