LOVE, SEX, FLOWERS & CHOCOLATE: Embracing Spontaneity to Deepen Connection | Love By Faith with Kyle & Selina Almodovar #063

In this episode, we talk about bringing spontaneity into our relationships to deepen connection. 

Spontaneity in relationships adds excitement and depth, moving couples beyond their comfort zones and routines. We discuss the distinction between spontaneity and randomness, providing practical tips for integrating spontaneous moments into marriages, balancing comfort with novelty, and emphasizing the importance of staying engaged with each other as life evolves. 

• Discussing the need for spontaneity in relationships 
• Exploring the difference between spontaneity and randomness 
• Overcoming the comfort zone in marriage 
• Strategies for introducing spontaneous activities 
• Encouragement to build intimacy through shared experiences 
• Importance of spiritual spontaneity 
• Practical brainstorming techniques for couples 
• Emphasizing that comfort can lead to complacency 
• Celebrating the value of breaking routines for growth

🔗 LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE! 🔗

Hamilton: It's Quiet Uptown 

ChatGPT (for writing prompts to get brainstorming ideas for your relationship!)

Christian Dating Adventures: A Couple's Guide by Selina Almodovar

Chapters

• 0:00 Love, Faith, and Preaching
• 3:47 Spontaneity in Relationships
• 16:03 Rediscovering Spontaneity in Relationships
• 25:08 Spontaneity in Relationships
• 33:15 Podcast Plans for the Future

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

spontaneity in our relationships.

Speaker 2: 0:02

Let's just go do our normal thing. What?

Speaker 1: 0:04

do I need to change this up, for You're not caring enough in your heart to do these adventures that you dream of.

Speaker 2: 0:09

So what can we tell couples with how to be spontaneous. We're not perfect people.

Speaker 1: 0:15

By any means.

Speaker 2: 0:16

But by trusting in God we learn what it takes to build a friendship.

Speaker 1: 0:21

A relationship.

Speaker 2: 0:22

And marriage that has stood the test of time.

Speaker 1: 0:25

With a Keeping it Real style. We're going to talk to you about everything everything that we've been through, are going through and have overcome all by learning how to lean on God and each other in order to help you learn how to love by faith what a week, man, what a whirlwind oh man your sermon was so great. I was glad it was so good to hear you preaching and to hear you like not just say preaching air quotes, but preaching like the way, I know you can yeah it's such a gift you have thank you like anytime I've ever had the opportunity to get in front of people yeah

Speaker 2: 1:12

I always go to more like teaching style yeah, it's easier to teach, it's easier to lean on teaching.

Speaker 1: 1:18

But that because they're facts that passion, that fire from you, yeah it's just you can't hide it. Hide it, it's so God-given, it's not forced, it's not fake. Thank you. I know the church was blessed. I bring this up because I hope everyone had a chance to go and listen. It's a great talk. It's geared towards dating, but married people can definitely take something away from it.

Speaker 2: 1:42

It's been out for about a week now, so it should be on our church's website and we'll go ahead and link that in the description. And yeah, it was definitely awesome. I took a preaching course a long time ago, a long time ago, and the teacher told me if you are worried or nervous or wondering if your sermon is enough by the time you go out and preach your sermon, then that means you haven't spent enough time with God, and so I took that to heart. I took that very literal. So I think over the whole month leading up to when I had to preach a couple weekends ago, I just stayed in prayer, amen, stayed in the word, stayed in there, and every single day God would give me something to say, something different, to say Tie this in, tie that in.

Speaker 2: 2:41

You know, the revelation of Adam not needing Eve that didn't come until two days before the sermon, just from me being in prayer. The story of Ruth that came in at the very beginning when I first got the topic, and then tying it to Genesis, that came in. It's just little bits and pieces. If you make your heart and your desire to please God available for God, then he will give you what you need to produce a good sermon, including the energy and the ump. You know some people, some people are not as hype.

Speaker 1: 3:17

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 3:17

Some people aren't as hype, and God needs those people to reach the people who aren't as hype as well. You know, some people need to stir the pot, some people just need to add a little seasoning. I'm a pot stirrer. I get people going. I know this, I've always have been, and God's using it so glory to him.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Amen, that's a great tie-in to today's topic. Amen, we're in the Love, sex, flowers and Chocolate series and this is the chocolate episode. Yes, so a lot of you are probably wondering like how does that?

Speaker 2: 3:51

tie in. What could it possibly be?

Speaker 1: 3:53

What does the chocolate episode mean? Sweets, it goes back to Forrest Gump. Life is like a box of chocolates.

Speaker 2: 3:59

Life is like a box of chocolates.

Speaker 1: 4:02

You never know what you're going to get. It goes back to spontaneity in our relationships. Yes, spontaneity.

Speaker 2: 4:08

What does that mean?

Speaker 1: 4:10

It means doing things out of the routine, breaking up the routine breaking up the boring habits. Yes, To get into new stuff to have new adventures. To get into new areas, maybe to push the boundaries on what you're comfortable with in your relationship okay what does spontaneity mean to you?

Speaker 2: 4:28

it means that you're going to pop up with surprises left and right and you know, one day we are just like, wow, this is such a great life. And then I ask you about chickens okay and then I just keep bringing it. Or like that one time when you wanted a dog and I was like, bro, we can't have a dog right now, as true as it is, you brought the dog home the following weekend.

Speaker 1: 4:55

So when we were, that wasn't spontaneous, that wasn't spontaneous.

Speaker 2: 4:59

That was totally. That was totally right. We were in the middle of buying a house.

Speaker 1: 5:03

Okay, and I said this is just not the right time to get a pet and you totally got a pet podcast time out.

Speaker 2: 5:14

Spontaneity is not randomness, right, selena? Okay, if that's not spontaneity, if you randomly getting, if randomness is not spontaneity, right then break down the difference of the two. Teach us, since you like to teach. Teach us the difference between being random and being spontaneous okay, random is give me examples, because I'm a visual okay, random is unstructured.

Speaker 1: 5:34

Okay, I come home from work, come out, we're going out to. We're going out to watch a movie, random, right okay it sounds spontaneous, but it's random okay I'm talking intention. Spontaneity is has intention behind it. Okay, you're rolling your eyes at me. You just rolled your eyes super hard.

Speaker 2: 5:50

Give me the visual for spontaneity, as it shows the difference in contrast with randomness.

Speaker 1: 5:56

Okay, we talked about the random movie night, right?

Speaker 2: 5:59

Right right.

Speaker 1: 6:00

Spontaneity would be when we're doing our weekly plan to get ready for the week, planning our dinners, I say, hey, we have nothing going on Thursday, let's go to a movie when it's very out of the ordinary for us to go to a movie on Thursdays. That's spontaneity.

Speaker 2: 6:15

So you're looking ahead and preparing to do something different.

Speaker 1: 6:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 6:18

Versus random is right there in the moment.

Speaker 1: 6:21

Roll the dice. Okay, throw a dart at the map. Okay, throw a dart at the map. Okay, that's random.

Speaker 2: 6:25

Okay.

Speaker 1: 6:26

But spontaneity can say hey, we're going to have a date next month, let's do something we haven't done in a while. Let's look for something new to do, Okay. Something new we've never done, okay.

Speaker 2: 6:45

I don't know why great white sharks came to my mind when you, when you said that something I would never do. Don't plan it, don't be spontaneous, don't be random I'll say no, but what? That's just what came to my mind when you said we have some time open. Let's do something different swimming with great white sharks but we've swam with sharks. Our honeymoon, yeah but they weren't gray white no, they weren't, they were like little gray, little gray sharks not gray white sharks.

Speaker 2: 7:04

That's so funny. Okay, so let's talk about this. We've we use the month of February to get very intentional with relationships. You know, bring the romance back. Be intentional with, you know, the the with the sex episode. We talked about how to revive flowers and all this stuff. So what can we tell couples with? How to be spontaneous, Because they could be in many different stages of their life. They could have small children and it's really hard to be spontaneous. They could be working really hard before children. How can we make this work? How can we make their relationship like a box of chocolate?

Speaker 1: 7:40

As a parenting couple of three kids, it is challenging to be spontaneous, which is why we have to have a schedule planned out but can still drop in those spontaneous events. Spontaneity keeps it spicy, keeps it lively, keeps it changing and growing. When you do, those spontaneous things get you outside of your comfort zone. It helps you to learn more about yourself, learn about your partner and to grow closer together. So that's why we need spontaneity. So, as a dad of three, how do I sprinkle in spontaneity? Yes, a lot of times she's the spontaneity sprinkler in our relationship.

Speaker 1: 8:14

She sends me all these like here's a new playground to take the kids to. Here's a new restaurant that we haven't tried. That's in our area. Here's a new like. Here's a new adventure thing we haven't done yet and we do it. Here's the thing that the the metro parks are putting on. Let's go check this out. Oh, the library. She's huge on doing library stuff. Right, we went to the library one time and watched an alpaca farmer talk about his alpacas and the kids were freezing and I was freezing and we everybody had a terrible time.

Speaker 2: 8:39

We left 20 minutes early, but so upset, but we did it, we did it, it was spontaneous, it wasn't random.

Speaker 1: 8:42

It was spontaneous and we did it. We did it. It was spontaneous, it wasn't random, it was spontaneous and we did it. And we went through the adventure. One time she came to me. She's like Kyle, do you know? Our city has a fishing derby? I love to fish and so now it's a tradition. It's spontaneous. One time random thing has turned into a tradition where every summer we're in the city fishing derby. So we're going on. This will be our fourth year doing it amen.

Speaker 2: 9:06

Uh, I think people have good intentions okay they want to do something new.

Speaker 2: 9:13

It looks like it's fun. But then a lot of times kyle and we do this too all the time. A lot of times, when we finally get to the date night, we're like let's just go to a movie and let's just go to the hot soup place and the ramen and the sushi place and let's just go do our normal thing. I think sometimes it's good because it's like comfort. It's comforting to just do the same old thing over and over and it's comfortable. But then on the con to that is that you're stuck in your comfort zone and you got to get out of your comfort zone. To that is that you're stuck in your comfort zone and you got to get out of your comfort zone, and there I feel like there needs to be a healthy balance of both of them.

Speaker 2: 9:52

You know like sometimes you're so tired in your season and you're just so dead that it's like you don't even have the energy to think about doing something else that is new. And so being in that comfort place, like going back to that comfort date, that would be ideal. That's something that it's an oldie but a goodie. You're enjoying yourself, you are enjoying the feels of all that. But when you are too comfortable and you become complacent in your relationship and it starts to get boring, then this is when you really have to step out of your comfort zone and that is going to require energy. I think the reason why people aren't spontaneous is because it's like I don't know, I've never been to that area of town before. What about the parking? You know?

Speaker 2: 10:37

you think about these things like it's for real like oh, what if I don't like the food on the menu? I'm gonna pay all this money and it's not gonna be enough. And what if it the menu doesn't fill me up? I'm gonna pay all this money and it's not gonna be enough. And what if the menu doesn't fill me up? I'm gonna go to the burger king afterwards. Like you start to think about these things, and if you're in a rut, you have to force yourself to think past those things. Right, it's going to require a little bit of courage, it's going to require a little boldness.

Speaker 1: 10:59

It's going to require you to get out of that comfort zone together, you know you know, what stops me from being spontaneous yes, I think is is that pushing out of the comfort zone. So like I want to go to the restaurant where I know I'm going to get what I want, where I know I'm going to get full, so I just get into that, to that comfort zone, yeah, and know that. Yeah, I know right where to park. I got my parking spot right going to that theater. I got seats d3. Yeah, I know right where to park. I got my parking spot right going to that theater. I got seats d3 and 4.

Speaker 1: 11:28

That's where we sit every time right, right, it's set well, you don't have to. What do I need to change this up for? Yeah, and so, breaking it up with the, when you send me the spontaneous stuff like, while it's random in the moment, when we plan it, it's spontaneous like we've never done this before that's the other thing is it requires planning, and if people don't like to plan, they're not going to do it.

Speaker 2: 11:50

They'll do more random than they will spontaneous yeah, yeah, it'll just be.

Speaker 1: 13:03

Oh, it's tuesday, all right, we're going to taco tuesday, right? But then every tuesday becomes remember, we went to taco tuesday last week. We should do that again, again I some people are like that.

Speaker 2: 13:13

Some people like the routine. There are some people I know. I'm not going to say who, I'm just going to say I know people who will eat the same lunch every single day for their entire life. Yeah, I can't do that, I can't do that, but some people do.

Speaker 1: 13:32

And then they equate it into Are you subconsciously pointing this finger at me?

Speaker 2: 13:36

No, what are you talking about? I'm not doing anything like that.

Speaker 1: 13:43

Because that's me. I like to keep the same lunch you said it, not me. I did keep the same lunch for years at my old job and now, with the situation being the way it is, I can have a nice variety of lunches and it works out great, but the framework around the lunch is still the same.

Speaker 2: 14:01

Framework, yes, but the spontaneity comes when you pick up different stuff for us to eat so it sounds like it sounds like one person in the couple is gonna have to be the spontaneity leader and get the other. I disagree with that.

Speaker 1: 14:17

No, I disagree with that. No, it definitely takes two. It's a relationship, sure, right? Yeah, if you just keep doing all the spontaneity stuff, you're gonna be like all right, this dude never comes up with anything, right this dude is always leaning on me. What are we doing tonight? What?

Speaker 2: 14:29

are we doing tonight? What are we doing tonight dependency what are?

Speaker 1: 14:32

what are you? You know what new restaurants are out? No, it goes both ways, like at the same time. Yes, you're brainstorming ideas, but I'm also like, hey, this sounds like a great idea, let's make this happen yeah this sounds like a great place.

Speaker 2: 14:44

Let's make this happen yes, I love that key phrase. Let's make it happen. Because how many of us say we're going to do something and then it never happens, and then you're just.

Speaker 2: 14:57

to me, it feels like I don't want to bring stuff up anymore, because you're going to say it, you're going to agree with me on it, I'm going to trust that statement, and then you never go through with it and it's going to make me feel like I can't trust you in your excitement anymore. I can't trust you and your intention, and so, therefore, why am I even going to bother?

Speaker 1: 15:19

oh, he talks about doing something new all the time, but he never.

Speaker 2: 15:21

You know that trip to europe okay, yeah, we're gonna go to, you know, or that trip to that one, you know fancy airbnb that we've been talking about for years. We're never going to get there. I'm sorry, but if you've had a plan, if you guys were excited about one thing and it's taking you years to do it, it's not a money issue, bro, I promise you, because if it takes you five, you could save $100 for a year, for five years to come up with $500 to go to that place or to however long it takes. Like you, can you figure this out? That's good, you know, and so it's. It's not a money issue, it's a. It's a, it's hard. What would you call it? I call it a heart issue. It's a heart issue.

Speaker 1: 16:02

Yeah, Because you're not. You're not caring enough in your heart to do these adventures that you dream of yes you're not valuing the adventure enough, you're not valuing the outcome of the spontaneity enough to make it happen.

Speaker 2: 16:14

Yes, and then you know, heaven forbid. Like something happens and the more you're letting stuff get in the way.

Speaker 1: 16:20

Yes, you're letting barriers to to the growth just fake barriers come up you know, spontaneity could even. We're talking a lot about dates, but it could even be as simple as like remodeling your kitchen oh yeah, I mean I started with dates because it's super applicable, super easy to just jump in and make it happen yes so it talks about the modeling the kitchen okay.

Speaker 2: 16:44

So, um, remodeling the kitchen and maybe remodeling is like too much, maybe that's like remodeling a kitchen is a lot more money than what folks are anticipating. But I would go ahead and say you know, back in the day, my fam like, I guess, the parents generation from when I was a child to me it felt like they never updated anything. Okay, they never got new furniture. The same pictures were on the wall, never painted the same wallpaper even though it was from the 70s, it's still there. They never did anything to change their environment. And so I say all that to say that we are home a lot. I think the lockdown in 2020 really shifted us into putting a lot more interest in our spaces and in our homes.

Speaker 2: 17:31

And so now we are really mindful of how we want things to look and to be intentional and to be spontaneous in your relationship. Doesn't always have to be an external activity. It could be something that would help edify your environment just from where you are. I mean even just buying new bed sheets, even just buying something that would just bring your space a little more light.

Speaker 1: 17:59

I think of, like on the spontaneous side of spirituality. Okay, so going to that new church event, going to a new church event that you wouldn't usually go to, or volunteering for the event that you wouldn't usually go to, or volunteering for the church ministry that you wouldn't usually do together, yeah. So go make the sandwiches for the homeless that they do. Go to the outreach night yeah. Go to the Saturday morning prayer yes, and all these things help your relationship grow through spontaneous change. Yes, we're so stuck in the relationship. Grow through spontaneous change.

Speaker 2: 18:30

Yes, we're so stuck in the way of like, well, we're just going to read this devotional and it's okay, it has its days, but yeah, Buy a new devotional bro.

Speaker 1: 18:40

That could be anything. Go to your favorite place to buy a book. Buy the book.

Speaker 2: 18:46

So we talked about dating, we talked about environment, we talked about spirituality.

Speaker 1: 18:56

In the bedroom. Guys, guys, how can you be spontaneous in the bedroom? Oh, make it more than just about you, dudes. Make it more than just about you, because so many times I fall into the trap if it's just about me in there and stepping outside of myself and making it about you turns out really nice a lot of the times, right, and I'm talking about the foot rubs, the back rubs, okay, just chatting her up like you used to and making her feel special. I'm not talking about the physical act, I'm talking about the emotional connection there in the bedroom.

Speaker 2: 19:25

Yeah, Okay. And for women? What can women do?

Speaker 1: 19:28

What can you do?

Speaker 2: 19:29

It can be more exciting. Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah okay.

Speaker 1: 19:31

And for women? What can women do? What can?

Speaker 2: 19:32

you do, it can be more exciting. Yeah, I think. Yeah, you know, because sometimes we're just so all about us and our needs and what we want and don't want, what we don't want and then what we're doing, just because you know and I think bring a little more zing yeah to.

Speaker 1: 19:46

It could be spontaneous okay, but bring, bring the zing, bring the zing, ladies.

Speaker 2: 19:54

Selena's advice is we talked about emotional stuff. Um, what are we missing? How else can couples be spontaneous?

Speaker 1: 20:01

the biggest thing couples are missing in spontaneity is the drive for it right it's got to come from somewhere yeah and it's it's through, you won't know you need it till you need it right. So you get bored in the relationship, you get bored doing the same old, same old. But that's when you boom, hit the spontaneity and plan it. I feel like we've said spontaneity 7 000 times. I'm sorry listeners yeah, but it's just, it's the word of the day. I have an idea.

Speaker 2: 20:30

I'm Pee Wee Herman. I have an idea. There is no wrong when it comes to building up a brainstorm session on how you specifically need to add more spontaneity to your relationship, to your marriage, you know. So what do you do? You got to brainstorm, you got to get ideas. Yeah, you can go on. Chad gpt okay you a series real talk. So if I were to say all we do writing chad gpt prompts now you're writing.

Speaker 2: 21:03

Yeah, let me hear it. Yeah, okay, do you guys use chad gpt if you? If you don't, it is an excellent tool to do some thinking for you. Okay, that's what I, you know, that's why I use it, for I use it to help me think so that I can execute it. Okay, I wouldn't necessarily have chat GPT right, what I would say to Kyle, you know but it could help for a really good brainstorm. So a good prompt Okay Would be and say I'm a couple where all we do is go to the movies and dinner, like that's all we do.

Speaker 2: 21:32

We go to the same restaurant, we go to the same movie and we come home.

Speaker 1: 21:36

I'm doing this real time. Let me hear it. Go ahead, Selena.

Speaker 2: 21:38

You're going to do it in real time. Oh, he's going to pull it up. Okay, see, this is good, this is good, this being spontaneous, let's hear your prompt, okay. So I am a married woman. I've been married for over 11 years. The only dates my husband and I go on are the movies and a restaurant. We need to liven up our marriage. Create for me three, hold on.

Speaker 1: 22:09

I can't type that fast, bro. I can't think Christian faith. Okay Hold on, got to autocorrect.

Speaker 2: 22:29

In our Christian faith.

Speaker 1: 22:31

Okay and Hold on. Got to autocorrect. I need to fix. You know how it goes In our Christian faith and and in our overall marriage. Okay, send.

Speaker 2: 22:41

Let's see what it says.

Speaker 1: 22:42

I love that you're looking for ways to bring more spontaneity into your marriage.

Speaker 2: 22:46

That's good right.

Speaker 1: 22:46

Here are five ideas to help shake things up. Okay, one, instead of the usual dinner, try a mystery date. Write down five to ten ideas. It sounds like what you just said. Write down five to ten ideas. Have a brainstorm session. Yeah basically yeah, so good. Uh, number two bedroom the draw a dare game. Write different playful or intimate challenges on paper and put them in a jar. Some can be flirty, others can be more adventurous okay before bed, each of you picks one and commits to it.

Speaker 2: 23:18

Commits to it now, if you need to write like boundaries, like we're not doing this and we're not going there, like I will do anything for love, yeah, but I won't do make sure you have those in place before you start writing stuff down.

Speaker 1: 23:31

Okay, keep going okay, uh, number three the 24-hour role reversal.

Speaker 2: 23:38

Wow.

Speaker 1: 23:39

For a day, probably a weekend, swap routines or responsibilities in a fun way. Fun way.

Speaker 2: 23:44

Wow, kyle, you're going to get so tackled all weekend long.

Speaker 1: 23:50

All right. So it says maybe you take over something that he usually does, or vice versa, or you both pretend you're dating again, dress up, flirt and leave little notes throughout the day. Okay, that doesn't sound like a role reversal, though.

Speaker 2: 24:02

Stiffen ideas. I like the idea yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:04

All right. Four Christian faith Spontaneous acts of prayer and worship. Instead of just praying before better meals, surprise each other by suggesting spontaneous prayers during the day. You could also plan a worship date where you listen to worship music together, share favorite scriptures. Dude, when we went to a couple worship concerts, oh yeah, visiting churches and doing that, yeah, that was enjoyable.

Speaker 2: 24:24

It was fun that was good.

Speaker 1: 24:25

We could do that some more.

Speaker 2: 24:26

Yeah, you could even just go to a different church's Friday service. If you're not normally going somewhere on Friday, dude, find a Friday service or a Saturday service.

Speaker 1: 24:34

That's a great idea.

Speaker 2: 24:35

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:35

That's a great idea, and it's not cheating on your church, because you'll still be in your church on Sunday, if that's a thing for you guys. Yeah, I don't worry about cheating on my church, I love my church. Okay, last one, number five, overall marriage the secret mission game. Each week, secretly plan one unexpected kind or romantic gesture for your spouse. This is my favorite one so far.

Speaker 2: 24:54

Really.

Speaker 1: 24:54

It's easy, it's secret, it's on you. You know what I mean. She's got nothing to do with it. He's got nothing to do with it. A note in their wallet, a small gift, a planned surprise At the end of the week. Guess what each other's mission was?

Speaker 2: 25:06

Okay.

Speaker 1: 25:06

So it keeps you. It says this keeps both of you engaged and looking forward to new ways to bless each other so there you go chat gbt in real time.

Speaker 2: 25:16

And that was just one little prompt so you can go back, you can tweak the prompt, you can add to the prompt if you don't like those, if you don't like what chat gave you. You could say I don't like these answers, make them better or add this to it or remove that from that.

Speaker 1: 25:30

Great you know, great tool, right?

Speaker 2: 25:33

also, there's tons of you know date ideas that you guys can go out and you can Google them if you want to you can have books if you want to. I'm a shameless plug right now. I wrote a book that has 65 different dating ideas Everything from being from home to being in public, everything from having a zero budget to having a very expensive budget and you guys can do everything together to help you grow in different settings with different ideas to make it happen.

Speaker 1: 26:03

Christian. The title of the book is Christian Dating Adventures right.

Speaker 2: 26:06

Yep Christian Dating Adventures.

Speaker 1: 26:08

Christian Dating Adventures, and you'll get the links and all the. It'll be in everything this week, yeah. So keep your eyes out for it, yeah, and be spontaneous in your relationship.

Speaker 2: 26:18

What is the last takeaway that we can give these people? Why is it so? Why does this matter?

Speaker 1: 26:21

you asked me this three times really yeah, dang it matters because it helps us grow and helps us change. It helps us get out of the routine to experience new parts of our partner and new parts of ourselves.

Speaker 2: 26:32

That's why it's important I think it's very important for people who are listening to this episode and watching. It's so important to keep investing in your relationship. You have to keep investing in your relationship, just like with God. There are so many layers to you both. As you get older, as you guys go through experiences, as things happen, you change, you evolve, everything around you changes and evolves and you have to be willing to adapt to that and be stay interested in that. You don't want to be the couple where your kids finally go off to college and you're alone again and you have no idea what to do with each other because you never put the time into figuring out and staying interested in who that person is, who your partner is, and you want to remind yourselves that this comes first your marriage comes first.

Speaker 2: 27:31

This is the first ministry that you should be really focusing on, beyond your love and your relationship with God himself, and so being spontaneous helps you stay interested, it helps you stay on top of things, it helps you be mindful of who you married and why you chose them and why you love them, and so make sure you do that, make sure you have your box and enjoy your box of chocolates.

Speaker 1: 27:56

That's right, that's right. And if it's your first time here and you're like, wow, this is a lot, I don't know what, where to do. Where to start? Start small. Start with with the reconnection. Start with a spontaneous. I always go back to this, but it's so good. Start with a spontaneous walk. Start with a spontaneous no screen meal right start with a spontaneous phone call to your partner.

Speaker 2: 28:18

What would you like to do? I don't know what I would like to do. Okay, well, what do you find fun? Call them and talk to them about our podcast.

Speaker 1: 28:25

Hey, I was listening to this podcast and they were talking about being spontaneous. Do you think we're spontaneous? Yeah, how can we be more spontaneous?

Speaker 2: 28:32

Yes, I. I think, kyle, if we had a nickel for every time, should I do a counter?

Speaker 1: 28:37

Yeah, do the counter, do the counter of how many times we've said this word yeah, definitely, it's all right. And then take that counter and put the goal in your relationship to be that spontaneous this year. Wow, because it's early in the year, so you've got time.

Speaker 2: 28:57

If we did that, I feel like we would have to track it on social that's a big project. It is a big project.

Speaker 1: 29:04

Is that spontaneous or random? Selena?

Speaker 2: 29:07

This pop quiz, bro, I'm going to fail it. It is random because I just threw it out there.

Speaker 1: 29:12

Okay.

Speaker 2: 29:13

Right, but then it's spontaneous because we're going to plan it. So there it is. I do?

Speaker 1: 29:18

I think I got the clarity on this. It's random when it's just an idea. It's spontaneous when the idea is in action.

Speaker 2: 29:24

Okay, there we go. See, that makes sense. This whole time I was just faking it I was like yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 29:32

Don't fake it, that makes sense you want authenticity in here, genuineness.

Speaker 2: 29:36

Yes, it's just words. As ironic as this is, as an author, words confuse me Sometimes. There are words that you'd be telling me, kyle, and I'm like I know, I'm not that, because I don't even know what that is.

Speaker 1: 29:49

I remember you saying that to me. Oh, you're so silly.

Speaker 2: 29:54

Thank you, guys, so much for watching. We're wrapping up our love, sex, flowers and chocolate series and I think, kyle, you would be a great person to wrap this episode up with some prayer yeah if you can lead our people into that, that would be awesome lord, we are grateful for this time together.

Speaker 1: 30:11

we are grateful that we have taken random ideas, thoughts, and have turned them into spontaneous actions, actions with intention to reconnect, to recommit, to keep our relationships growing and lively. Lord, we pray that you continue to guide our hearts together, guide our minds to be of like mind, to embrace that we each, in our relationship, have the best intentions for each other and that we're willing to do the work to make it last, make it work and to love by faith. We give you glory, God, for this episode and for the Love, Sex, Flowers and Chocolate series. Lord, we pray that this spontaneous episode would also Sorry, I got distracted by saying spontaneous. Lord we pray that this spontaneous episode would bless couples and help them grow. In Jesus' name, amen.

Speaker 1: 31:07

Amen, you're going to have a lot of stuff to cut out of this episode.

Speaker 2: 31:11

Thank you guys so much for watching and listening and getting through another series with us. We will be back next week with a new series for you to enjoy. Be sure, if you're watching us on youtube, to like, share, subscribe. If you're listening to us on apple or spotify or anywhere else on your favorite listening platform, be sure to give us a great review and a five-star uh stamp of approval so that other people like you can learn how to love by faith don't just think by faith, love by faith love um.

Speaker 1: 31:40

I did it wrong again I thought just let me do it again no, you, you.

Speaker 2: 31:45

Last time you said don't just think by faith or live by faith, but love by faith. So I was waiting for that third point you didn't do it, y'all just love my faith okay just love my faith and we'll see you again next week.

Speaker 1: 32:02

Take care god bless man spontaneous, spontaneous.

Speaker 2: 32:13

I wish I had the time to make a reel where we just say spontaneous, over and over and over and put like a trap beat behind it. Dude, why did you say it so much?

Speaker 1: 32:28

it was the topic. What am I supposed to do?

Speaker 2: 32:30

yeah, we didn't say that.

Speaker 1: 32:31

With the sex that we over sex, this is because sex is not a bad word, but it's not like you don't want to say it 75 times we didn't say flowers, so I avoided saying sex a million times.

Speaker 2: 32:44

I love 75.

Speaker 1: 32:44

I don't have to avoid saying spontaneous, a million times.

Speaker 2: 32:47

This is a random word they're all random.

Speaker 1: 32:51

They're like that ted lasso episode where they said the word too much. He's like I said it too much and now it sounds funny in my head. It's true it happens. It's true, that was really good. Oh man, yeah it's weird, now I can't say it we're back in that time of the week yeah you know what time of the week it is the time where I'm about to leave the time where I gotta go no, I'm leaving first.

Speaker 2: 33:15

You do this to me every week, kyle do you want me to like not go? Yes, you want me to not have to go one day, give me one day where you're just like.

Speaker 2: 33:23

I don't have to go anywhere I'm just gonna stay here, I'm staying dude, what if that's like the last episode of our podcast, like 20 years from now, and it's like I got nowhere to go, and that's the thing. Like that's the the whole end credit bit. It's like you finally stay and then the people are leaving and we're all like, oh, my god, I want to stay too. Oh, that would be so full circle, bro, like I'm already thinking 20 years ahead.

Speaker 1: 33:47

All right I gotta go for real though good day to you.

Speaker 2: 33:49

Bye, y'all bye.