HOLY SPIRIT: When the Holy Spirit Makes You Uncomfortable | Love By Faith with Kyle & Selina Almodovar #058

In this episode, we talk about what happens when the Holy Spirit makes you uncomfortable.

Have you ever felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit pushing you out of your comfort zone, only to find yourself resisting?

Join us as we share heartfelt and humorous tales of navigating these spiritual promptings, from moments where we've had to be the bigger person in tough situations to the laughter-filled adventures of unconventional illness remedies. We reflect on how these experiences have strengthened our faith and relationships, inviting you to continue engaging with us through your questions and feedback.

Our gratitude for the overwhelming support on our Holy Spirit series is immense, and we're excited to offer resources like the vision casting calendar to help integrate spiritual guidance into your life's journey.

Our stories include personal experiences of delivering prophetic words and the humility required to convey them. We also confront the ongoing struggle with self-control and humility, sharing how the Holy Spirit has guided us to choose patience and love over sharp retorts within our families. Through these reflections, we hope to encourage you to lean on spiritual guidance as you navigate your own path of personal growth and relationship building when following the Holy Spirit gets a bit uncomfortable.

🔗IMPORTANT LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE!🔗

James 1:4 | But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (NKJV)

1 Corinthians 14 | Chapter that focuses on the spiritual gifts of tongues and prophesy

Proverbs 18:21 | Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit. (NKJV)

"Yo Mama Jokes" 

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Discomfort With the Holy Spirit
• 12:20 Embracing Prophetic Gifts in Worship
• 23:09 Struggling With Self-Control and Humility

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Today we're going to talk about what happens when the Holy Spirit makes you uncomfortable, bro.

Speaker 2: 0:02

Then God's like alright, go tell him what I just showed you. And I'm like what?

Speaker 1: 0:06

The biggest thing that makes me uncomfortable is when the Holy Spirit tells me to wait.

Speaker 2: 0:09

Okay, god, but why, why, why do I have to be the bigger person?

Speaker 1: 0:13

Bro, are you seriously calling me to do that right?

Speaker 3: 0:16

now, we're not perfect people.

Speaker 1: 0:19

By any means.

Speaker 3: 0:20

But by trusting in God we learned what it takes to build a friendship a relationship and marriage that has stood the test of time.

Speaker 1: 0:29

With a Keeping it Real style. We're going to talk to you about everything everything that we've been through are going through and have overcome.

Speaker 3: 0:46

All by learning how to lean on God and each other in order to help you learn how to love by faith.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Good morning, Selena.

Speaker 2: 1:00

Good morning girl.

Speaker 1: 1:02

How you doing today.

Speaker 2: 1:03

I'm sick as a dog, bro, come on, as a dog I was, which which, honestly, I've never seen a sick dog your dog that you love.

Speaker 1: 1:11

You've never seen him sick I seen him have diarrhea.

Speaker 2: 1:14

Does that count as being sick? Yeah, you seen him be all mopey but when I say sick as a dog, it doesn't mean I have leaky diarrhea but you could be mopey and out of it and just laying there I was definitely out of it. I was definitely out of it I mean, were you comfortable? Luckily for me, I have a extraordinary husband who took care of me. You were comfortable I don't know if I was. I had body aches.

Speaker 2: 1:39

I was shivering all night, yeah all night again no, this last night was fine, sweet, but the night before I was terrible.

Speaker 2: 1:46

I was a mess so you got kind of the in between yeah, it was weird, I yeah yeah we all were sick, and then we all had different symptoms yes and then it was all gone yes so crazy and then I got all the symptoms and then I was gone like it was like in and out, but I did all the natural stuff that you guys would never do you overload, you did I did the peroxide in my ears, I did the honey garlic, the honey ginger I made. I told you to make me a concoction of soup, that soup I can't believe the spicy soup.

Speaker 1: 2:18

Yes, I mean all the spices. It was good, but it was just like not for you. I can't, yeah, unless you get sick, as I guess I wouldn't imagine putting all those things together in a soup and being like this is going to taste good, and then it tasted pretty good.

Speaker 2: 2:31

And the elderberry, all the supplements, all the oregano, all the Vicks, all the Vicks. I did all the things.

Speaker 1: 2:38

How many spoonfuls of Vicks did you eat?

Speaker 2: 2:40

I did a lot on my feet you know what I do.

Speaker 3: 2:43

Eat it you know how they tell you to put it. I said how many did you eat?

Speaker 2: 2:45

Yeah, I heard you. My body ingested it. I'm not going to lie. I got nothing to lie here on Love by Faith. We're open, family. Okay, safe space. You know how some people tell you to put it right here on your chest, yeah, and the vapes are like go up to your nose. No, I just cut that out. I cut that midway out, I just put it directly on my nostrils stuff burns so bad it doesn't. It's refreshing and then I just good night, and then I could sleep what's the good night, yeah?

Speaker 2: 3:17

because you got it, you got to rub it in, but you don't want to get it too far in because then it burns maybe that that's what my problem is. You got to put it right on the budget right there.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Uh-uh, that's all you bro.

Speaker 2: 3:28

Anyways.

Speaker 1: 3:28

Keep up the good work.

Speaker 2: 3:30

Apparently, I'm better, you are.

Speaker 1: 3:31

It's a miracle, it's Holy Spirit, holy Spirit.

Speaker 2: 3:36

Speaking of the Holy Spirit. We are into an amazing episode, an amazing series on the Holy Spirit. You guys are loving this episode. We episode an amazing series on the Holy Spirit. You guys are loving this episode. We've gotten a lot of downloads from everywhere, every platform. We just want to say, if you're hearing us for the first time, thank you, welcome, welcome to Love by Faith. If you are day one-ers, we appreciate you guys sticking around and we appreciate you sharing and liking and just doing all the things to help us with this conversation.

Speaker 2: 4:02

If you guys have any questions anywhere along the way when it comes to the Holy Spirit in your relationship, let us know. Okay, shoot us an email info at lovebyfaithministriescom. Go to our website, go to our Instagram page, go to anywhere, so you could even send us a text. If you're listening and you look in the description, you could send us a text message and we will receive it in real time and send it back to you regarding your questions.

Speaker 1: 4:25

We're tech savvy.

Speaker 2: 4:26

We are. We're that lovely age demographic where we grew up before tech, we grew up to adapt tech and we grew up now.

Speaker 1: 4:38

We were the ones who had to figure it all out for our families.

Speaker 2: 4:41

It's a blessing and a curse sometimes to those families. You just don't want to get on the bandwagon when it comes to technology. But anyways, back to the Holy Spirit. Right Last week we talked about a lot of things. We talked about vision casting. We have the new handout, the vision casting calendar.

Speaker 1: 5:00

Vision casting calendar.

Speaker 2: 5:01

We have that and we talked about how to activate that Holy Spirit, how to get that in there with your relationship and where you guys are going in the new year. So what are we going to talk about today, Kyle?

Speaker 1: 5:15

I don't know, I'm just kidding. Today we're going to talk about what happens when the Holy Spirit makes you uncomfortable. Bro, when you're not really feeling that Holy Spirit call and you're like, bro, are you seriously calling me to do that right now?

Speaker 3: 5:29

Are you?

Speaker 1: 5:29

really calling me to be that right now? Are you really calling me to change directions right now? Are you really calling us to give, like that right now, holy Spirit, really, that's where we're at.

Speaker 2: 5:39

Give me an example, Kyle, a personal story time of when you felt uncomfortable with the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 1: 5:48

When I felt uncomfortable with the Holy Spirit. I think for me, the part that makes me uncomfortable with the Holy Spirit is when I have to. It's probably the same for everybody when you have to go out of your comfort zone, when I have to move in a direction that I'm not ready for right. I think the biggest thing that makes me uncomfortable is when the Holy Spirit tells me to wait, because that being patient that stretching.

Speaker 1: 6:14

I remember praying for a while for the doors to open to a new employment opportunity. Okay, and just being so stressed out and burned out and just praying and fasting through it and praying like lord please, and every time it was either a no or a wait or not yet, and I just got to keep and this is like years, years.

Speaker 2: 6:35

This was years of me like, yes, trying to find a one-time fast.

Speaker 1: 6:39

It was trying to seek the lord to just open this door and hearing back through the Holy Spirit like it's not the time, not yet, no, and so waiting through that was probably the biggest discomfort that the Holy Spirit gave me. But the other side of that is that I learned so much more. I gained so much more by being obedient to the call. By being obedient, I was able to learn so many more skills and gain so much more by being by being obedient to the call. By being obedient, I was able to learn so many more skills and gain so much more. I mean gain income, but gain so much more wisdom and knowledge of what I needed to be to be a better man, to be a better person, to be a better leader, and I'm grateful for that now. Even though it was uncomfortable then. I'm grateful for all those lessons that I was able to get out of that now.

Speaker 2: 7:26

And you left on good terms too.

Speaker 1: 7:28

Yeah, switching on yeah. If you would have left on your own terms it would have been who knows how it would have been Right, right, I like to think that I would have done it respectfully, no matter what you know.

Speaker 3: 7:39

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:40

But I would have missed out on a lot of good outcomes if I would have been disobedient to the Holy Spirit, if I would have chosen my own comfort over the Holy Spirit calling. It would have been a bigger outcome to the negative side.

Speaker 2: 7:55

I think yeah. And then you left on perfect timing, if I recall correctly. When you left your previous job, we were getting ready to go on our second honeymoon yeah and that was like a whole vacation in itself. But then the kids had spring break and you didn't have to start work until like the following week, so you had like a huge break. The timing was perfect.

Speaker 2: 8:19

A huge break between one job and the other for transition, for rest, to reconnect with your family, before we started this whole new chapter yeah, so I don't think it clean yeah, I don't think it would have been planned like any better had it would have been any other way right.

Speaker 1: 8:35

If I did it in my own power, my own timing, it would have been way off. It would have been harder on you guys. Yeah, would have been harder on me, and it's worked out great.

Speaker 2: 8:44

So I know you gave us this awesome story about you waiting at your job and I know we can apply waiting to any situation.

Speaker 2: 8:54

You know, you're a single, or you're dating right now and you're waiting to get married. You get married and you're waiting for a house. You're waiting for a kid. You're waiting for a financial breakthrough, you're waiting for a house, you're waiting for a kid. You're waiting for a financial breakthrough, you're waiting for a new job. The wait is never boxed in for just one occasion. I think it's a season that we all experience at some point in our life, and so tell me a little bit more with the personal connection of the Holy Spirit when it came to waiting, like when you wrestled with the Holy Spirit. When you went to the Holy Spirit, what were your thoughts? What were your concerns? Like, how did you get through that? Because waiting is hard, and to me, I feel like it's even harder when the Holy Spirit's telling you to wait, because it's one thing to wait and not get an answer, and then it's another thing when the answer is to wait.

Speaker 1: 9:48

Right.

Speaker 2: 9:48

So how do you work through that and what can you tell listeners about that experience?

Speaker 1: 11:04

It goes back to, for me it goes into the scripture, where it says let patience have its perfect work in you, in James.

Speaker 1: 11:10

Okay, let patience have its perfect work in you and james, okay, and it really made me that. That waiting made me better, made me grow in that patience. How so? Through being able to, it's like the patience was a muscle, okay. And all that waiting, all that timing, all those years literally of hearing no, not yet wait, made that muscle stronger, to be patient, to know that when I have to endure something, waiting for a transition, I can do that, because now I can look back and be like I waited years for this answer. I know that, whether or not it's now, when I want it, or when it's in God's timing, which is what we really want, no matter what, it's going to be better off that way. I don't have to force it, I don't have to worry that worry that anxiety of God.

Speaker 1: 12:01

Why aren't you opening this door, god? What is going on? I'm grateful that experience has built up that muscle where I don't have to just keep pressing and keep anxiously pressing to say hey come on, make this happen. Make this happen Because I know I've waited for this. Yeah, for the answer to something else.

Speaker 3: 12:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:18

And it's so much better than the way I could have drawn it up myself.

Speaker 2: 12:20

Yeah, it reminds me of cooking.

Speaker 1: 12:22

Okay.

Speaker 2: 12:23

It's like, for example, chicken. Yeah, for those of you guys who cook, you guys know that chicken is a little hard to cook sometimes, because steak is really fast. You know you can make a steak, it's easy, it takes only a few minutes to cook steak. It takes a. You know it takes a little longer to make pork, but you, you pretty much know what it looks like. When it's done for chicken, though, you always want to check the inside of it. You want to always want to make sure the internal temperatures, because you it could look completely fried on the outside. And then you open that bad boy up and you're like, oh snap, it's not cooked at all. And then you got to go back and figure it out.

Speaker 2: 12:55

And so it reminds me, the more that you cook, the more you are expecting how long?

Speaker 1: 13:05

it's going to take to cook to get a well done meal. So you use. So this is the experience.

Speaker 2: 13:07

Yeah, the experience.

Speaker 1: 13:09

The experience of going through it makes it makes it all better. It's funny, While you were talking about that, the steak could be a little more intimidating because it has a quicker yeah. You have no room for error, less room for error.

Speaker 2: 13:24

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 13:24

You can go from medium rare to medium well in two minutes.

Speaker 2: 13:28

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 13:30

That could be intimidating. I take that to God. Where sometimes it's uncomfortable, when the calling is to go right now. Oh yes, the opposite side of that, absolutely. Where it's uncomfortable to wait three or five years, it's just as uncomfortable for God to say go now, yes, go now.

Speaker 3: 13:48

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 13:49

And you know what I mean. There's so many stories of people who are called to share a word with someone and go now. And what's harder? Go now, or the Holy Spirit tells you in two years go Right, right. Go now is harder, I think. Okay, because you just instantly got to get up and go. You just got to face that right now yeah, man.

Speaker 1: 14:11

That's a big, uncomfortable spot it is. You ever had that kind of holy spirit all the time? All the time I think, wait, yeah, sorry to cut you off, go ahead, I don't mean to. So you operate with prophetic gifts? Yes, and so that has to be times where that has come out. All the time, and it's just been like tell me about that.

Speaker 2: 14:31

All the time. So I'll pray, and I have prophetic words or sometimes visions, I have edifications for people, yeah, and I can, to not weird anybody out, but sometimes, when I pray for people, I can feel what their spirit is feeling. I can feel their fear, I can feel their peace, I can feel their frustration. Sometimes I will start crying, sobbing in the middle of prayer, because that's what I'm feeling, your spirit feeling, and then God's like all right, go tell them what I just showed you. I'm like what? It's not good, god. Sometimes the word's not good, sometimes the word is a correction enveloped in encouragement.

Speaker 2: 15:16

I'm never going to smack someone down and then just walk away and be like you're a terrible person. Good day, the Lord told me to tell you, but at this you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3: 15:24

I don't know how it works.

Speaker 2: 15:28

There's always an encouragement there, there's always a word in there, there's always a scripture that comes out of it. But people don't want to hear bad things all the time, especially when it's coming from me, like especially if you got something against me and then I come at you, like the Lord told me.

Speaker 1: 15:43

Bad news is hard to hear you know, so yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:45

Or if he tells me to have a word in front of the entire congregation, that's really for me personally. For anyone else, I almost start to get this imposter syndrome of like who am I? I'm sure all the prophets in the Bible, every prophet in the Bible, has had this experience, where they're like who am I that I would be the one selected to bring forth your?

Speaker 1: 16:08

word. I think about John the Baptist when he was like no dude, you should be baptizing me. Yeah, I shouldn't baptize you, you should baptize me.

Speaker 2: 16:16

There's a lot, there's a great sense of humility that comes with it, and I'm always, anytime I share a word, anytime I go up to the stage, I am always feeling great humility, like I. I I tell myself all the time like this is me, I am about to fall flat on my face, but I'm gonna do it anyways, like, and I tell god, I'm like here, god, I'm falling flat on my face for you, and then I'm like I don't know who this is or I don't know if this is what you're feeling, and it's always dead on. It's always spot on because the Lord is using me, holy Spirit is being activated through me. But yeah, it's very hard, it's very humiliating.

Speaker 1: 16:59

Can we dig into this for a second for the audience, because I don't think people get to see this a lot in a church service or in a church setting. Take me through when you receive a word that's for the entire congregation or for the entire group that's together, what is the setting? Is this a Sunday service? Take me through this.

Speaker 2: 17:19

It could be anywhere. It could be anything. It could be a prayer service, it could be a meeting, it could be a breakfast, it could be a Sunday service, and what will happen is I will be worshiping, and I love to worship in my prayer tongue. I also have the gift of tongues.

Speaker 1: 17:36

Is this usually during worship, where this kind of calling happens to you? Okay?

Speaker 2: 17:40

Yes, and so I will be just minding my business, praying in my spirit tongue, because the Bible says that there are things that the Holy Spirit can utter that we know not what to, and I'll link all these in the description, and so I let the Holy Spirit flow through me through my prayer tongue and I just kind of let that. And there are, you know, it's. The Bible also says I'm getting deep here, it's all right, that's what we're here for.

Speaker 2: 18:03

The Bible also says that. In a nutshell, it doesn't mean anything if there's no interpretation to go with it. Okay, because if you are just out there using your tongue and there's no interpretation to it, then everyone's going to look at you like what are you talking about? So it's best to have the interpretation also while. So, while I'm in my tongue, I'm also hearing the interpretation.

Speaker 1: 18:23

You're receiving the interpretation.

Speaker 2: 18:23

I'm also receiving the interpretation, and so that's why I do it.

Speaker 1: 18:27

And this is all. The Holy Spirit working over you.

Speaker 2: 18:29

This is all the Holy Spirit working over me, and then there is some points in the time that I'm doing that where I will feel the fire get bigger within me. And as I feel the fire get bigger within me, I start to get a vision or I start to receive the word.

Speaker 1: 18:48

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:48

Okay, usually it's a vision that comes with the word, and so-.

Speaker 1: 18:53

Like vision in your brain. You can see a picture. I can see a picture, okay.

Speaker 2: 18:57

I can see a picture and I feel it connected to a scripture of the word, and so the burning feeling inside of me. I know, when I get this huge burning feeling inside of me, I know it's meant to be shared. So then I say, no, thank you God. And then I keep worshiping Like I'm dead serious, because, again, it's very uncomfortable to be in this setting and I'm like, no, thank you God, I will write it out, I will give it to the pastor when I'm done. And then the burning feeling gets bigger and I'm like, no, thank you God, I will write it out, I will give it to the pastor when I'm done. And then the burning feeling gets bigger and I'm like, no, thank you God, I don't want to do this.

Speaker 1: 19:32

So you're just trying to ignore the Holy Spirit?

Speaker 2: 19:34

I'm trying, because then I'm getting in my head yes, I get in my head that imposter syndrome of like I'm not a pastor, I'm not a you know, I never went to theology school I start to dumb myself down a lot. It's, it's really sad, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who does.

Speaker 2: 19:51

That's why we're talking about it to to help people, and I'm just like no, people don't want to hear from me, like I'm just selena, like nobody wants to hear from me, like they're gonna think I'm doing this for self-righteous reasons and I I try to like shadow myself because I'm like I don't want to be seen as haughty. I don't want to be seen as arrogant. I don't want to be seen as somebody who thinks that they have to be like I don't want to be attention seeking.

Speaker 2: 20:14

I don't want to be arrogant and that's all, just all in my head.

Speaker 1: 20:17

So the whole time that.

Speaker 2: 20:18

I'm worshiping yeah, the whole time that I'm worshiping, the whole time I'm speaking in tongues, I'm having this conversation with the Holy Spirit and I'm just like I don't want to do this. And the fire gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it cannot be contained and I'm just like, all right, god, fine, I'm going to fall flat on my face, and then that's when I go to the front, and then that's when I talk to you.

Speaker 3: 20:43

You don't just want to grab the mic number one, you always want to be respectful.

Speaker 2: 20:45

You always want to be very respectful to the church and to the leaders of the church. So I go to the first leader I see and I say I have a word and if they-.

Speaker 1: 20:53

Is it usually a pastor or an elder?

Speaker 2: 20:54

It's usually a pastor or it's an elder yes. Or if it's the worship team on the stage.

Speaker 3: 20:59

It would be one of them.

Speaker 2: 21:00

But I usually try to go to one of the leaders and I tell them I have a word. If they know me, they trust me. They let me have the mic. Sometimes they're like, wait a minute, what is the word? I'll tell them the word and then if they filter it, you know, and they find good discernment. If they discern that it is a good and edifying word, then they'll take it upstairs.

Speaker 1: 21:19

Amen, take it upstairs.

Speaker 2: 21:27

You know, and then I'll have the mic and I'll share. If it's with an individual person, it's takes a lot longer for me, because it's like what if they don't want to hear it? What if they don't want to receive it? What if they stopped being my friend because of it? What if they look at me bad and then they start talking about me, you know. So it takes me a lot longer, but again it's the same feeling. It's that fire. It gets bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger, until it cannot be contained. And then it's like I have to get this out by any means necessary, whether I am telling it to you right now, whether I am pulling you to the side, whether I write it in a letter because I have no other way to share it.

Speaker 2: 21:59

I have to get it off of me, because if I don't, that fire turns to conviction, because then the obedience becomes disobedience. If I delay it anymore, and so I don't want to have this conviction on me, I have to release it, and so I share it and people either take it or they leave it. People either appreciate me for it, for God using me, or they look at me side-eye and never trust me again. I'm being obedient to God, and that's the only thing that should matter in that point.

Speaker 1: 22:31

Amen, and that's what we're called to with the Holy Spirit is to do what God is calling us to do. He's lighting the path, he's opening the door. Yeah, we got to go through it. When we planned out this episode, we talked about me sharing what made me uncomfortable, you sharing what made me uncomfortable. You sharing what made you uncomfortable, and I feel like unintentionally, by talking about the prophetic gifts, we got into what made you uncomfortable.

Speaker 2: 22:52

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 22:53

And so.

Speaker 2: 22:54

That wasn't what I was going to share, by the way.

Speaker 1: 22:56

Well, tell me, but then what were you going to share, Selena? Let's hear it.

Speaker 2: 22:59

I was going to share.

Speaker 1: 23:00

What makes you uncomfortable?

Speaker 2: 23:07

So it's interesting that. Thank you, holy Spirit, that you brought out that story Right. I was not going to share that because it's a very personal thing, but of course I assume people needed to hear it because that's what the Holy Spirit led us to. But what makes me always uncomfortable is when to keep my mouth shut. Oh yes.

Speaker 1: 23:22

As your husband, I want to hear more about this.

Speaker 2: 23:24

As my husband. You grabbed your teacup and you literally started drinking the tea. That's interesting, that's so funny. Okay, so your girl's got a big mouth. We all know this. We know this by now, at episode 58. We know this by now that I have a big mouth. When I draw close to God and when I draw close to becoming holy like him, the Holy Spirit shuts me up a lot, a lot. I think more than you know, kyle.

Speaker 1: 23:57

I want to break that down to understand it when you draw closer to God and you get holy like him. Is that what you said?

Speaker 2: 24:04

Yes, when I'm going through this sanctification process and. I'm not trying to make it sound crazy, it's just, guys, when you want to be more like God, you try to listen to him, you try to be obedient to him, you let Holy Spirit take the lead a lot more than you would.

Speaker 2: 24:18

Right so that's what I'm doing in my daily, in my day to day. This is what I'm doing on the inside, okay, and he shuts me up a lot there because, okay, I grew up, I grew up in the inner city schools. I grew up with you know, I don't know, I don't know how to describe it, but clapbacks are normal. I grew up in the era of your mama jokes, let's put it like that Same. Okay, we grew up in the your mama jokes, and so we were trained and conditioned to always have a comeback for everything to everyone. And I was trained and conditioned in my upbringing, at school and at youth group and all these places, to always know how to have a comeback. I could pick it apart, I could pick you apart to have a comeback if I ever needed to. Also, I grew up in an environment where I was a very hurt person. My parents were divorced and my childhood was very broken and so I was hurt.

Speaker 1: 25:14

Did you see a lot of people, not your parents specifically, but did you see a lot of people being mean to other people in your life? I've seen a lot of people, not your parents specifically, but you see a lot of people being mean to other people around you in your life.

Speaker 2: 25:20

I've seen a lot of meanness happen.

Speaker 1: 25:22

Okay.

Speaker 2: 25:22

Yes, and I was very hurt, and so hurt people, hurt people.

Speaker 3: 25:27

Right.

Speaker 2: 25:28

So I always had a way to hurt people through my words. I could tear anyone down in an instant, because that was my shield, that was my guard, that was how I was able to stay strong and get out and survive.

Speaker 1: 25:44

Defense mechanism.

Speaker 2: 25:45

Okay. So I had clapbacks, I had comebacks, I had hurtful things to say to anyone, okay, and so that's how I grew up, and I'm talking about all the way to the point where I met you, right, the minute I started having the Holy Spirit enter into my life. So now flash forward to present time. There are things that my three-year-old will say to me where I'm just like I got to be still. I got to be still because if I did not have the Holy Spirit with his hand over my mouth, I would probably we would be arguing in the middle of the kitchen about sugar and we would just be clapping at each other and then I would just be teaching her how to do that, how to combat and how to always have something to say and always have the last word, and that's not good. That is not good and healthy and whole is not right.

Speaker 2: 26:38

We don't want to and healthy and whole, and so I have to keep my mouth shut. Same thing with, you know, the seven year old and the eight year old, who are now like learning how to have their own voice, and they have a tone and they cut me off in my sentences and they walk away when I'm still talking to them, as if they know what I'm about to say and I'm just like I need to hold it, I need to rear it back in. I need to rear it back in, and so the Holy Spirit makes me very uncomfortable because in my flesh I would clap. I would clap. It would be a standing ovation of applause with my children Understand what I'm saying, saying oh my gosh. And and they wouldn't know what would hit them yes you know they wouldn't know.

Speaker 2: 27:24

If they would, I would hurt their feelings, they would go run off crying and I would instill shame. I would instill hurt, I would instill unlove, I would instill all of the ungodliness that I work so hard to work towards. Right, you know what I'm saying, and so it's very uncomfortable for me when the Holy Spirit's just like shh, don't say nothing, be quiet, shh, think about me, focus on me, focus on me, da-da-da-da-da, ah-ah, shh, don't say nothing. You got nothing nice to say right now. Don't say nothing at all With my husband, bro.

Speaker 1: 28:01

Bruh Bruh, the fruits of the Holy Spirit, love joy peace, patience, kindness, self-control.

Speaker 2: 28:12

A lot of times I just don't say nothing.

Speaker 1: 28:13

It's so good to have that self-control fruit showing out Self-control fruit show it out.

Speaker 2: 28:15

A lot of times I don't say nothing because I'm so at that point of saying something that I know will just break us Not break completely but it doesn't need to go there. We don't need to go there. We never need to go there to the point where we're hurting each other with our words, where we're tearing each other down with our words, where we're being disrespectful with our words. And so a lot of the times when you see me just clench you know you see my jaw clench it's because I'm having that internal-.

Speaker 1: 28:46

Biting a hole through your tongue.

Speaker 2: 28:47

I'm just, I'm having that internal conversation with the Holy Spirit of like but God, they said this and they're doing. I was like Lord, you see, the play by play, like run the tape back. You see what I just did. And they still not listening to me, they still thinking that I'm crazy because I said it three, four times and they looking at me like I never said it in the first place. So I'm just always thinking in my head like Lord, run the tape back, run the tape back. Was I right? Was I right? I was Okay, but you still want me to be quiet, okay, god, but why, why? Why do I have to be the bigger person? And I'm just having this whole conversation in my head with the Lord because he's telling me to act in a way that would glorify him through my wifeness, through my motherness, through my friendships, through my all of the things being a daughter, a sister, all the things so it goes to me.

Speaker 1: 29:43

It goes back to this. I'm gonna ask you this, with our topic being when the holy spirit makes you uncomfortable yes through all that where you have to bite your tongue and the holy spirit is helping you to use self-control to not share mean and hurtful things. Does that make you uncomfortable? Makes self-control to not share mean and hurtful things. Does that make you uncomfortable? Makes me very uncomfortable To not say mean things.

Speaker 2: 30:02

It makes me very uncomfortable because it's triggering. I'm being triggered and I want to respond with reactions. I want to respond with words, I want to respond with actions and behaviors and it's me going against what my flesh would do, which makes it uncomfortable. It's discipline, it's strict discipline, it's correction, it's stretching growing pains and that is not easy to maintain on a daily basis, because sometimes you just get to your end, you're just burnt out, you're on empty and you're just struggling and you want to express yourself. At least for me, I do. I want to express myself in some way and the Holy Spirit has to stop me and you have to make a very quick choice to obey him and to listen to him. Like you were saying, when the Holy Spirit tells you to move instantly, that is uncomfortable. It's very uncomfortable Because now you have to do something that humbles you.

Speaker 3: 31:12

Humility is uncomfortable.

Speaker 2: 31:15

It's very uncomfortable, but I would rather be humiliated and turn and walk away and bite my tongue and not say nothing and have those stretches and have those pains and have the correction, than to feel the conviction for the rest of my season or the rest of my life or to have a ripple effect of what my actions did because I did not heed to him.

Speaker 1: 31:43

Amen, Amen. You said it well bro.

Speaker 2: 31:46

I say it all the time. I say it all the time to people. I'm like, if I'm saying something, holy Spirit, correct me, correct me guys, correct me because I've done it just like how you said, with experience right and going back to cooking chicken and going back to the more experience you have. I have so much experience in how the Holy Spirit has corrected me that I'm just like, correct me if I'm wrong. Please you will not offend me, you will not drive me away. I receive it because I know that with correction comes clarity, it comes change, it comes transformation and I'm able to become a better person because of it.

Speaker 1: 32:22

Praise the Lord. I'm trying to wrap my mind around. I'm trying to wrap my mind around. How much do I really push you to the edge, to where you want to say something that's just gonna tear me apart? And I'm also trying to wrap my mind around the balance of the balance of the good and the bad of having the gift of prophecy, because so much good life or death can come from the tongue, so much good can come out of those great prophecy moments, but on the opposite side, so much bad can come out of letting that gift go to the dark side for lack of a better word. And I just appreciate you being honest about that and I hope that the listeners can hear that and can resonate with that. I think the gift of prophecy is so misunderstood and seeing the good and the bad side of it talked about is huge.

Speaker 3: 33:20

Yeah, and.

Speaker 1: 33:21

I think that that's a great gift of the Holy Spirit is to have prophecy, to have words for people, to be able to be an encourager, to be an uplifter. It's a great encouragement for our listeners. It's a great encouragement for our listeners to stay focused on the good side of your gifts, to be focused on the good side of what the Holy Spirit is calling you to, and the Holy Spirit will never call you to go against the word. That is the bottom line. There is no opposite of that, because the Holy Spirit is God and the Holy Spirit is guiding us everywhere we go.

Speaker 2: 33:53

And to go a little backwards on what you said. It's not things that you do, it's not the person that you are. Sometimes it's just hormones. Sometimes it's just me having a bad day. But because I was so used to doing it from my past, it would naturally come out. It's like an alcoholic who has recovered and they're in their most stressful state. They instantly think of like I wish I could have a drink right now. It doesn't mean that they're going to do it. It's just that's what they leaned on for so long.

Speaker 2: 34:25

And to your point of how the Lord has given me this gift to use my words to edify and encourage people and bring them back to God, it makes total sense 1,100% that the enemy would continuously put me in situations in my past that would cause me to use words to kill. Back in the day I used to hurt everybody. I didn't care because that's how hurt I was. And it makes a lot of sense that the enemy would try to keep me in that place and keep my words in that place so that it would never be used to glorify God. But thank God, you know the Lord has redeemed me and called me and.

Speaker 2: 35:09

I have been set free and just changed and I plan to use my words for good here out.

Speaker 1: 35:15

That's right, man. That's a lot Selena.

Speaker 2: 35:17

It's a lot.

Speaker 1: 35:17

Deep episode. Deep, yes, use my words for good here out. That's right, man. That's a lot selena, it's a lot deep episode, deep yes to our listeners. You've made it through another episode with kyle and selena. Love by faith. We are here for you every tuesday, unless it's a snow day or a holiday or a sick day, our kids are off or vacation we appreciate you guys being here, like and subscribe five star reviews on all the places we appreciate you.

Speaker 1: 35:39

Be on the lookout for next week's episode. It'll be out on Tuesday. Lord, help us each day in your wisdom, in your power, to use the gifts you've given us. The Holy Spirit gifts in us, in our spirits, to glorify you, to glorify ourselves, to help our marriages grow and be strengthened by your power. Holy Spirit, please be at work in us each day, in our listeners each day and in our world. We just give you glory for all of it in Jesus's name Amen.

Speaker 2: 36:17

Amen, thank you, you guys. We'll see you again next week man, that was deep bro, yeah, man I didn't expect.

Speaker 1: 36:30

I mean, we talked about getting uncomfortable. I didn't expect you, it was that's awesome you're the one that asked me all the questions. You were so vulnerable with it. It's so good. I appreciate you.

Speaker 2: 36:39

I hold nothing back. There's nothing to hide.

Speaker 1: 36:43

My agent double booked me, so I got to roll.

Speaker 2: 36:45

No way Love by faith y'all. Bro, that's how you feel. Wait, you're going to come back. No, no, that's it, we're done. You, you done Time to go. I'm late. Ferris Bueller, you're out, all right, see ya Bye.

Speaker 3: 37:02

Goodbye, goodbye, I love you.