For the Ladies: The Power of Encouragement for Your Man | Love By Faith with Kyle & Selina Almodovar

Ladies, understand the power of encouragement for your man in this episode!

What if the simple act of encouragement could transform your relationship and leave a lasting legacy of love and support?

Discover how ladies can wield this powerful tool by listening to personal stories and engaging scenarios that reveal the immense impact of positive communication and ultimately an open door of encouragement for your man.

We draw from biblical teachings to illustrate how words can breathe life into your partnership, fostering a nurturing dynamic where both you and your partner thrive.

Ever felt overwhelmed with frustration, unsure how to communicate your feelings without causing more harm than good? Learn practical strategies for tackling emotional challenges head-on, ensuring that both you and your partner can express yourselves freely in a safe and judgment-free space. We explore the metaphor of "purging poison" and share insights on handling emotional baggage while juggling responsibilities like parenting, ultimately promoting a home environment grounded in peace and understanding.

As we journey through the nuances of emotional energy exchange, we tackle scenarios where one partner seeks deeper personal pursuits and the need to balance encouragement with existing commitments.

We emphasize creating a haven at home where both partners can share their vulnerabilities and emotional burdens, reinforcing each other's worth and solidifying the marital bond. With an eye on the horizon, we hint at future discussions on love and respect, with a festive nod to upcoming holiday plans that promise warmth and joy.

"Beans, Greens, Tomatoes, Potatoes" Song 😏

The Power of the Tongue Bible Verse:
James 3
Proverbs 18:21

Chapters

• 0:00 The Power of Encouraging Your Man
• 12:53 Navigating Frustration and Communication in Relationships
• 17:49 Encouraging and Supporting Your Husband
• 26:55 Encouraging Your Partner With Love

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

For the ladies power of encouragement for your man.

Speaker 2: 0:03

I don't necessarily think we realize how powerful it is.

Speaker 1: 0:08

I'm just going to stop, and then I'm going to clam up, and then you're going to wonder why I'm not talking, right?

Speaker 2: 0:11

We see what we have. We know who you are. But, what does God say, bro? We're not perfect people.

Speaker 1: 0:18

By any means.

Speaker 2: 0:20

But by trusting in God we learn what it takes to build a friendship, A relationship.

Speaker 1: 0:23

But by trusting in God, we learned what it takes to build a friendship, a relationship and marriage that has stood the test of time. With a Keeping it Real style. We're going to talk to you about everything everything that we've been through are going through and have overcome All by learning how to lean on God and each other.

Speaker 2: 0:45

In order to help you learn how to love by faith.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Yo welcome to another week. How are you? I'm excited because I'm in my cozy clothes.

Speaker 2: 1:04

Yes, we decided to go cozy this week. Why? Because this week is super hectic.

Speaker 1: 1:09

This week is Thanksgiving. Yes, classic. All the eats, all the cozy clothes, all the itis nap times.

Speaker 2: 1:21

Super itis nap time.

Speaker 1: 1:23

Maybe like two nap a day would be awesome.

Speaker 2: 1:25

Well we can't have that. Kids, we got kids, bro, we got kids. They won't let us nap.

Speaker 1: 1:32

You know how dad naps work Three minutes, four minutes.

Speaker 2: 1:34

Let's watch a family movie, guys, I'm sure.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Yes, you know that movie with all the quiet trilly music that just lulls you, let's put on some Christmas music. Yep, yeah, yeah, put the fireplace on Chilling.

Speaker 2: 1:49

We're here. How did we get here? How did we get to the holiday season already?

Speaker 1: 1:53

I don't know. My dad used to say oh, I'm just resting my eyes, just resting my eyelids, just checking the inside of my eyelids for leaks. What other dad-isms we got? Oh, the inside of my eyelids for leaks. What other dad isms we got? Oh, I wasn't watching tv. Tv was watching me. I was praying I was praying.

Speaker 2: 2:09

Yeah, uh, wherever you guys are. If you are in the us, then we hope that this week is filled with lots of great things and, uh, you have a happy thanksgiving. If you're not in the us, then, hey, you're along for the ride and that's awesome and thank you for supporting us from wherever you are. Let us know where you are. You know, give us a comment or send out that review or send an email, and just let us know. Hey, I'm listening from this place, but for everyone everywhere, we are thankful for you.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Cause zero dollars to be thankful.

Speaker 2: 2:40

That's it, now that that is out of the way, right? What are we talking about today? We're wrapping up. We're wrapping up the season of For the Ladies.

Speaker 1: 2:47

Wrapping up the series the For the Ladies series comes to an end. How to be a better lady ends today.

Speaker 2: 2:54

How to be a better lady. Wow, just kidding.

Speaker 1: 2:58

So today's fun topic is how to encourage your man.

Speaker 2: 3:02

Okay, that's it Just boom.

Speaker 1: 3:04

How to encourage your man.

Speaker 2: 3:05

How to encourage your man.

Speaker 1: 3:06

Because every man, me, every man, all of y'all like a good woman who can encourage you and lift you up in the good times and the bad times.

Speaker 2: 3:16

Can I change the title? Sure, because I feel like women know how to encourage their man. The real question is why they need how to encourage their man. The real question is why they need to be encouraging their man on a very regular basis.

Speaker 1: 3:32

So we'll go For the power that encouragement has. For the ladies encouraging your man.

Speaker 2: 3:38

The power of encouragement for your man.

Speaker 1: 3:41

The power of encouragement for your man. So this week's episode is the power of encouragement for your man.

Speaker 2: 3:46

I don't even know if that's good, I'm going to have to run it through. That was so good, I'm sorry. Okay, that was a good take. We'll do it the power.

Speaker 1: 3:52

So this week's episode is the power of encouragement for your man.

Speaker 2: 3:57

Yes, the power of encouragement, because I don't necessarily think we realize how powerful it is. Absolutely I don't think we realize how powerful it is. I mean, we know that the word says that there is power in the tongue, right, right, we know that Life or death is in the tongue. Right, I believe it's in the book of James, where he talks about the tongue being the rudder and it directs the tails and and all of that stuff, and then you can either speak life, you could speak death.

Speaker 2: 4:29

And then you know, you take it even further and you say well, god created everything through the power of his voice, like he spoke it into existence. And so how much more that is effective when a woman speaks life into a man. Imagine let me just bring it down to you, let me make it full circle Imagine the relationship, the love, the legacy you can create when you speak life into existence. Let's go Through your man and through the relationship.

Speaker 1: 5:01

So good. So I thought a great way to go through this and to frame this discussion was to do a couple, couple, few scenarios okay, and hear how you would encourage me, and then we can banter about what went good and what so, like a role play, okay. So what went good and what?

Speaker 2: 5:20

okay, you need to do I will say this, though a little side note I am a very good encourager, I'm an exhorter.

Speaker 1: 5:26

You don't have to tell me I've been around, I'm an exhorter, and not everybody has that gift. So exhorting what's exhorting about?

Speaker 2: 5:33

Exhorting is an encourager. It's someone who can easily encourage, who can encourage anything, at any time, anywhere. It just comes to you and the people feel encouraged by what you say.

Speaker 1: 5:44

Does this mean that you have just like this?

Speaker 2: 5:46

supernatural cheery attitude.

Speaker 1: 5:48

That's amazing all the time.

Speaker 2: 5:50

Not even. It's like if I am at the gates of Mordor and my people are like I'm tired and weary. I can muster them up and I can herald them into fighting and taking action.

Speaker 1: 6:04

I can inspire very.

Speaker 2: 6:05

It just comes very. You know how some people are just a natural talents and natural like oh, it's just natural for me. I'm a very gifted singer, it just comes out, I don't have to train about it, I don't have to take classes for it, it just happens. It's what it's a God gift.

Speaker 1: 6:19

So you have a God given gift to be an encourager Correct, and the fancy word is exhorter. Yes, got it Okay.

Speaker 2: 6:25

I'm saying this to say that I can easily come up with encouraging things.

Speaker 1: 6:31

Okay.

Speaker 2: 6:31

It might not be that easy for everyone else.

Speaker 1: 6:34

Which is why we'll break it down after we go through the encouragement Correct, so that they can take the talking point Correct and use it Correct. All right, correct and use it correct. All right, all right area. One scenario one your husband gets home from work and I get in the door and I'm just like, oh, today, sucked, today was so awful man. You know, pete at work, he just won't stop with the never-ending questions and I'm trying to just work with him. And then I put together the whole thing and I just I can't take this job anymore. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm going to start looking tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 7:12

And I'm done with it. You want me to encourage him? Yeah, okay, first I would get in the boat with you. I would say freaking Pete man. What did he do now? Like oh Pete man. What did he do now? Like oh Pete. Like I would match the energy.

Speaker 1: 7:27

Okay.

Speaker 2: 7:27

I'd be like this guy, why is he always messing with you? And then I would give you the space to vent it all out, to air it all out. So I let you, like, tell me what happened, like what's going on. And then, once we do that and you got the initial anger out because anger is just that first emotion that covers the deeper emotion so once we get that anger out, then I'm going to be like, well, you know, you said you didn't want to work anymore, like, is that really what you think? Now I'm going to get a little personal, I'm going to start to get into the heart, like is that really?

Speaker 2: 7:59

what you think Is that is that you know why. What makes you say that I'm not going to say he's wrong?

Speaker 1: 8:05

and.

Speaker 2: 8:05

I'm not going to discredit his thought, because then that's going to push him more towards that, that action. And so what I would do is babe, you're such a hard worker, you work, so you put so much time into this job, and I would start to remind him of the value that he is in that job. I would start to remind him of why he likes this job. And if he doesn't like this job, if he's not like, if I've seen the track record and this is like this job really kicks him all the time and it's just really chewing him out for no reason, then I would encourage him to go the opposite direction. I'd be like babe, you put all these hours into this job, you work every day, you come in, you do the extra mile.

Speaker 2: 8:46

Pete, you've tried to work with Pete, we've even prayed for Pete and Pete. You know what. Pete could kick rocks at this point, and I'm down to hold you for that. I will cut his ear off. Don't worry about Pete, but you're a good man. And look around you. Then I start to show him all his rewards. Look around you, look what you built from this job. You sure you want to move directions? You think, and then at the last minute, I bring God back into it. I'd be like you know, now that we see what we have, we know who you are.

Speaker 2: 9:17

But, what does God say, bro? What does God say, like, maybe I hear what you're saying. You want to start looking the next day, but why don't we spend the night praying and seeking God so that tomorrow, if that's what you want to do, then that's what we're going to be prepared to do, okay? But if that's not, then at least we'll know that we gave it to God and we're going to give it another day, and I'm here with you either way, and you just let me know about PDP, okay, cause we'll handle him through human resources, okay we'll handle resources, and that's how I would encourage that situation I like it.

Speaker 1: 9:55

So I came home super frustrated, super done with the situation, super done with the scenario, yes, and your first instinct was to get on the same page with me yes match my energy, yes, right yes and then you said you wanted to show me the fruits of the labor that I've already done.

Speaker 2: 10:12

No, I want to hear the whole story.

Speaker 1: 10:14

You want to hear the whole story, so you want to dig deeper to get the details.

Speaker 2: 10:17

I want you to purge it out.

Speaker 1: 10:18

So you're letting me empty all my frustrations out Correct. Okay, and then the next step you said you wanted to.

Speaker 2: 10:27

Remind you.

Speaker 1: 10:29

Remind me. That's funny that you needed to remind me. Do you want to remind me of all the fruits of the labor that have already gone into?

Speaker 2: 10:37

this this venture, yes.

Speaker 1: 10:37

And then, lastly, you brought it back to god and taking it to the spiritual side and getting into prayer yes, for the day, prayer for the husband, prayer for the future yes so, yes, that is a beautiful picture of how to encourage your husband when he's frustrated.

Speaker 2: 12:04

But I got to let him know that I'm crazy too. It's almost like it's not a trick, but it kind of is like a little like trick is like, if your husband comes home talking crazy and you get crazier and he's going to be like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's too crazy. Yeah, we're not gonna do nothing with pete right, calm down, that's, we're overreacting right like oh, okay, okay a couple cautions come to mind with this.

Speaker 1: 12:28

Ladies is first, guys, guys don't wanna rehash the whole event, the whole way so we might only want to give you what we said in the from jump our once we get that complaint out. That might be it. There might not be. When she tries to dig deeper and get the whole story, there might not be a deeper to that.

Speaker 1: 12:47

Or he might not be willing to go through it with her just because he doesn't want to go back to that stress level. That frustration that he just spit out to you was it. That was the explosion for that frustration.

Speaker 2: 12:59

And as I was saying it, I thought to myself you might not have an opportunity to say anything because your guy just might be like I'm done talking, I want to go away.

Speaker 1: 13:09

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:10

And you might have to just grant him that space, and I thought about that, but that's not a good scenario for me.

Speaker 1: 13:16

Yeah, no, I think-.

Speaker 2: 13:17

Eventually you're going to have to get something out of him because it's got. You have to be. The man has to have a healthy conversation about his feelings and about how he got to that conclusion. It might not be immediately after opening the door, but at some point me personally I cannot accept that you are that mad and then you walk away and then we don't talk about it ever again just because you don't want to bring it up. We can't.

Speaker 1: 13:44

That's not healthy right, no, that's where I was going to go next. Okay, the guy, if you're going to bring this and share this at home and share this frustration and you need to I totally encourage that you have to be willing to get into it a little bit more than you might be comfortable with, because getting to that uncomfortable is going to get out all those sour emotions and help you get on that healing path. Help you get on that getting over the hump to get to the good part, to not just knee-jerk reaction and cut off your blessing or cut off your you know what I mean Like that image of the guy, the miner, who's digging and digging, and digging you know, you've seen it a million times where he gets to the wall and if he would have just kept digging for two more days it would have been through.

Speaker 2: 14:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:28

So it's up to us guys to be willing to be open, to know that if we're going to bring up a frustration like this, she's going to want to dig deeper and we're going to have to share about that. Yeah she's going to want to dig deeper and we're going to have to share about that. Yeah, and meet, meet in the middle as a couple. I think meeting in the middle is is the real victory here.

Speaker 2: 14:44

Is he's going to give a little more than he wants and she's going to accept what he gives without pulling too hard to then become part of his frustration I use the term purge because to me it it feels like whenever anyone husband or wife does this, they, it sounds to me like they've consumed poison, you know, like a snake bite.

Speaker 2: 15:06

And so how do you get the poison out from a snake bite? Is you have to suck it out and spit it out? Basically, you have to withdraw the fight. And so, to me, when you are expressing what's going on and you're having the opportunity to share how you feel and how you came to your, you don't even have to share how you feel in that moment. But how did you get there? How did we get to that point when you said goodbye and you left to work in a happy mood? By purging out that poison, it can no longer seep into your heart to create something worse, like bitterness or like I'm going to quit my job.

Speaker 1: 15:45

So good.

Speaker 2: 15:48

That's such a haughty conclusion Like where's the wisdom in that? Where was the thought process and the discernment in that?

Speaker 1: 15:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:54

And when you start leading with your head, you know, and not leading with the holy spirit, then you get into a lot of situations. And then not only does the husband make those decisions, and gets into those situations, but now you're dragging your whole family into that because of your hot head right, or because you didn't want to think it through well, last thing, before we get to the next, the next uh scenario.

Speaker 1: 16:18

Talk about you, because you always I I was really bad at this at the beginning of our marriage I would come home and I would just dump all this on you. Talk about like what? What if the wife's not prepared for him to come home and be like that?

Speaker 2: 16:30

yeah, that's real. Um, when I was talking about the first scenario, I immediately thought you're coming home with all this and I have three kids yeah and so I'm already tapped out. Usually, what we can do is cause. This is an episode of encouragement right.

Speaker 2: 16:45

So the very first thing, you know, if I am not in a position for that, I would. I would match the energy. Oh heck, no, I can't believe this happened again. This is crazy. And then I'd be like you know what, let's just get through the night, let's put these kids down and then maybe after that we can have some Oreos and we can talk about it.

Speaker 2: 17:06

You know like, let's just like I'm going to, I'm going to acknowledge you never not acknowledge and then maybe throw in some encouragement there too. It's just like you know what. You don't have to take that, but we got to handle these kids right now. Let's get into it later. Let's focus on this real quick. I love you. I'm glad you're home. Stop thinking about it, because you're at the house now, and at the house there's peace. And this is your home, this is your kingdom, this is your castle. So what do you want?

Speaker 1: 17:34

You want me to make your plate right now, like you know, try to serve him in some kind of way, if you can, and then, yeah, you're not ready for the energy right and then, at the end of the day, when you have the energy yeah hey bro, like what what happened? Yeah, what went wrong. Then go into the steps. Do I need to do I?

Speaker 2: 17:51

need to show up and have some words with pete. No, do I need to talk to peter? Tell me what happened, what's going on so good you good, you know.

Speaker 1: 17:58

I like it, man, selena, that's great, great stuff for the ladies there.

Speaker 2: 18:02

So how did I do with scenario number one?

Speaker 1: 18:05

I like it. I like that you went to being totally prepared and then also when, for the ladies, when they're not prepared and I think that's that's awesome, because it happens all the time where I come home and you're like you just dumped all this on me. It used to happen. Thankfully, we've worked on this and gotten through this hump, but you've dumped, you dumped all the stress on me and now I just feel everything you were feeling before and you feel fine, but I feel like turd.

Speaker 2: 18:31

But you know what? Yes, yes, that did happen on several occasions, but the reason why it happened is because, I think, a lot of the times, women, we go in wanting to encourage our people, our guys and we offer that space, and you know this is a transfer of energy Like this is the law of physics.

Speaker 2: 18:51

we offer that space and you know this is a transfer of energy. Like this is the law of physics. The energy is from your, from your husband, is going from him now onto you, yeah, and so if you have equally distressing energy and then he doesn't offer, he doesn't create the space to reciprocate it and and get it back to him, you him create a space so that some of that could get transferred onto him, then you're just dumped with a bunch of energy plus your own energy and nowhere to put it. And so I think that's what was happening early on in our marriage was I was creating this space for you to really dump and to offer encouragement, because I am an encourager okay and it would work that way, but then you wouldn't be like okay, selena, now how was your day, how are you feeling?

Speaker 2: 19:38

what's going on with you, so reciprocating to check on you yeah, and it almost felt like I'd almost felt like it was. I was being taken for granted, I was being rejected because you weren't giving me that space, and then I had all of your energy well, it sounded like you were being used too like yeah used up for what you can give to me correct, correct and so that could be mindful of that.

Speaker 2: 20:00

Guys, when you guys are doing this, like guys also ask, sometimes just asking like, how are you doing? Is it can go a long way because women do have to carry so much on their shoulders, so good Mentally and emotionally.

Speaker 1: 20:14

All right, we ready for a new scenario.

Speaker 2: 20:16

Yes.

Speaker 1: 20:16

Okay, so the second scenario. Okay, okay, okay, so scenario two.

Speaker 2: 20:21

Yes.

Speaker 1: 20:21

Scenario two. What I want to do is the husband me just came home from the men's outing right.

Speaker 2: 20:30

Okay.

Speaker 1: 20:30

We always do a chili cook-off. Just came home from a chili cook-off, okay, and I'm like honey, this was so great. I was there, we were getting together with all the guys, we all were talking. It was so good to just have a real time with guys and I just feel so inspired to do this men's ministry more often and to create more events and to really head up this, this thing, so guys can be encouraged and we can have times of brotherhood. And I was talking with Pete and Pete and I are going to really dig into this men's ministry and make it happen.

Speaker 2: 21:01

Pete was there. That's great. Oh, petey, pete, um, I first of all. I don't know about you guys, ladies, but anytime my husband is around other godly men like that's a win. So I'm gonna push it, I'm gonna encourage it, I'm gonna be like heck. Yeah, I do that.

Speaker 2: 21:16

Yeah you know I've been telling you to do that for years. Like I'm so glad you're finally in a space where you can do that. I would encourage it. If you guys are in a super busy season and he's like I want to add more to the plate, you know, because he's so excited. He's like this just moved me and I just feel it and you're like hold up, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2: 21:32

We said we were going to pull back, like what happened. So if you're in that kind of situation, it doesn't necessarily mean that I cannot encourage you. But I am going to, you know, because right now your head is on cloud nine and you're in the head, like you're in the clouds, you're foggy. So I'm like oh, I'm so glad, this is so great, I'm so happy, you had a great time. Tell me more about it. You know that's so cool, that's great.

Speaker 2: 21:54

You know, try to get all the details if he wants to talk about it. And then I would be like well, you know you, you mentioned you wanted to get into this men's ministry and that's great and I'm all, I'm all here for it. But you know, the last conversation that we had, we talked about, you know, our plate being too full, or you know we talked about. You know the kids need to do this and you know all of the extracurricular activities are on the same times as the meeting. So I just want to know like I'm here for you and I support you, but we have to find a way to make it work. And if it's not working, then we have to reevaluate what's what we're going to leave out of our like, what's what we're gonna leave out of our like, what's leaving the plate, so that this can be added in right.

Speaker 1: 22:33

It's so easy in these mountaintop moments for for me as a guy, to just blow, blow, just clear, clear. It reminds me of, like the desk being being full of a mess, and then you just clear the desk and you're like we're doing this right. All that other stuff, yes, that we as a family were planning and had organized, correct, you just threw out the window to have this. And so it's so easy for for me as a guy, for guys to go off the deep end with a new hobby or with a new, yes, adventure, yes, and to so it's okay. I think this is good because it's okay for your encouragement to him to be to take a moment and count the cost, to encourage him in a way that is realistic, when he's at the mountaintop, at the peak, to be like, hey, wait, this is where we're at, this is what we need to do, and it's not. You're not discouraging him from doing the men's ministry, you're encouraging him to think about the big picture and to figure out how it fits in.

Speaker 2: 23:27

And it's a great reminder because and not just that, but re-evaluate the values, because if this is something you really like and you really want more, of yeah then clearly this is going higher on the totem pole than maybe some other things that we have commitments to. So maybe it's like, okay, let's keep this energy, but what is something that we could say no to so that you can keep this energy?

Speaker 2: 23:54

so this is clearly something that's more important to you now, and you didn't realize it until you, until you experienced it. And now that you've experienced it and you realize that this is great for you, then it's going to be great for all of us, because everyone wants a happy husband. So what doesn't make you feel like this, what makes you feel more like a drag, so that we should kind of say no to that Like I see you shining in this area? I'm not going to take this away from you just because our plate is full.

Speaker 1: 24:19

Encouraging him by figuring out the how to his excitement, to his joy. Keep that energy, that's so good, that's right, I love it. So you're helping him count the cost, yes, you're helping him figure out the how. And then when it comes time to get it done, what do you do when it's say he's gotten through all this and now it's time to actually do the men's ministry thing? Where's the encouragement go there?

Speaker 2: 24:42

All right, honey, you pray over it and again, you just remind them. I think a lot of the times guys live in the moment they jump from present to present to present and they forget of why and how they got there.

Speaker 2: 24:56

And so one of the really key things you could do, ladies, to encourage your man, is to remind them why they got where they are or why they decided to make these choices, why they're going into work every single day, why they decided to take on this men's ministry. It's a whole lot of work. We obviously knew that. We saw what was going to happen, we knew the schedule and the commitment it was going to take, because we think forward, we think ahead, they think in the moments, and when they finally see it and their hands are full and they're tired and they're weary and you're like, oh man, why did I sign up for this? I'll tell you why you signed up for this.

Speaker 2: 25:33

You signed up for this because when you came home and you talked about the men's cook-off, I saw something in your eyes that I haven't seen in a long time. I saw a fire that was just lit out of nowhere and no other ministry was bringing that to the table. And I saw when you were talking about how you and PDP were getting along and how you thought the brotherhood could be strengthened, and you were the one to do it. I believed in you because you believed in you. And when you believed in you, kyle, it made me believe in you, and I know that if you keep this up, everyone else is going to believe in the same mission, and they're going to believe that you're the guy to do it too oh I'm right now let's go.

Speaker 1: 26:15

Yes, so like, let's go, you gotta remind them.

Speaker 2: 26:18

You gotta remind them of, like, what you saw and why you thought that this could work. Yep, because when they believe it, then they could just take off I'm like smiling with pride right now.

Speaker 1: 26:29

Yes, let's go do that chili cook off, that's right bowling night.

Speaker 2: 26:33

Do more. Whatever you guys do as guys like I don't know, scratch your bellies and burp and watch football.

Speaker 1: 26:41

Yeah, chili bowling, football outings, all of it. Sporting events there you go.

Speaker 2: 26:45

Yes, tournaments. Yes, look, he's already planning a ministry.

Speaker 1: 26:49

Let's go I appreciate where I'm at right now yes, yes, yes, yes it's so funny. I thought so when we came into this episode. Yes, I thought we were going to be able to go through like five, seven scenarios right, oh seven wow I don't know well, I talk a lot so, with that being said, you

Speaker 1: 27:09

that is a dangerous statement for me to make any comment on and I'm going to avoid that. I appreciate that and the but I put together a whole chart for this. Ok With like how to encourage a man when he's feeling like this and how to encourage a man when he's feeling like that. Ok, all right, and we're going to get that in the playbook. Yes, look for that in December in the playbook. Ok, ok, okay, okay, I'm gonna get that together. And what else? How do you get closed on the?

Speaker 2: 27:34

uh, how to encourage your husband episode. Hopefully, the scenarios that we provided can give you some kind of breakdown as to how easy it can be to encourage your husband and also how powerful it can be to encourage your husband to uh, share his and emotions, to share his frustrations, to think about the greater picture, to look ahead and then to be reminded of where God is taking him, as well as taking your whole entire family, as a reflection of his leadership. It's very powerful for women to encourage their husbands not just to do things, but to remind them of who they are, to remind them of why they're the trophy to remind them that they are the guy that you love.

Speaker 2: 28:25

Because you have to remember, guys are very guarded. When they're out in the world they're not sharing a whole lot of business with other people. They're not sharing their business when they come home. That's the only real, true place maybe except with their moms that they could fully just undress and become fully naked and unashamed with their person. If you can't create a safe environment where they can feel allowed to do that, then that is a clear red flag that you are not encouraging him enough. Because if you remind him of who he is, why you love him, why you picked him, why he's great at what he does, why who he is at what he does, why who he is, you know he doesn't have to do more. Yeah, who he is is who God is calling him to be. That goes a really long way.

Speaker 1: 29:18

You said that so fast that it's so true, if I come to you and I'm in a down spot where I need encouragement, and you shoot me down or shut me down, or it doesn't take much for me to not come back two or three times If I come home from work and it's like don't do it, don't, I don't, I can't. You know, without any real good reason or any follow-up to my, you know what I mean To working together to help us each other meet our needs.

Speaker 1: 29:46

I'm just going to stop and then I'm going to clam up and then you're going to wonder why I'm not talking Right. And so it's so good that you said that, to be open to it, to be there for him because that's the communication can break down just like that, just that fragile, because he's coming to you, like you said, in such a vulnerable spot where he doesn't get to be with anyone else. When you come at him like that, it's a time where he's really fragile and needs the help.

Speaker 2: 30:17

You know I'm not perfect. I'm a good encourager, but there are some days where I'm just like you didn't get this done, you didn't get this done, you didn't get this done, this isn't done right. You know, this wasn't done on the right time. Like you said you were going to do this. And you're not like if you just constantly remind him of the faults without building up and lifting up. You know it, just like you. Like you said, it just tears him down and tears them apart.

Speaker 2: 30:38

So, women, to be in that right head space. You know we go back to the very first topic that we talked about in this series how can we desire our husbands, how can we stay attracted to our husbands? And that is you have to have that healthy relationship with God. You have to be able to have that place to dump right. You can't just wait on him, because we're two humans and we're always going to have this negative energy that needs to be transferred. And if we're going to just keep transferring negative energy among each other, then we're just going to stay negative people. We have to go to the source. We have to go to the place where all of our burdens can be taken away from us and be lifted from us, where we can give our yoke to God and God can give us his yoke, which is peace, which is gentleness, which is love, which is joy. And then that is how you create and cultivate a place where you can attract and where you can desire and where you can help and where you can encourage your husband.

Speaker 2: 31:29

It all goes back full circle. So if you guys need more tips and tidbits on those things, go back to the other episodes from this month and really understand how it all comes together. It's a three-corded braid strand.

Speaker 1: 31:44

No three-corded braid. Three-corded braid.

Speaker 2: 31:47

And it has to be tight. It has to be tight, yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:50

God, husband, wife, three cords.

Speaker 2: 31:53

What are we talking about next? Week Working together or next month, next month, december. Getting into the December, are we going to wear our Christmas pajamas again?

Speaker 1: 32:05

I don getting into the december, are we gonna wear our christmas pajamas again? I don't see why not. Yes, I don't see why not. Yes, it's always good men to have a humble spirit for your wife, go along with things that might not be your favorite, but that get her to have that kind of smile because it's worth it. It's worth it. The uh next one, I think next month, is love and respect. Okay, not a hundred percent. Yeah, I got to look back at our plan.

Speaker 2: 32:25

It's a short month because of our Christmas break but tune into that and before you guys leave, we would love to pray for you, absolutely. And we would love to pray for women as they encourage their husbands. Can I pray?

Speaker 1: 32:36

Yes, please do.

Speaker 2: 32:43

You want me to Hold your hand?

Speaker 2: 32:44

Yes, all right, lord, we just thank you for this episode, for helping us get the right words, the right scenarios, all of the right tips that you have given us, holy Spirit, to share with the people who are listening and watching.

Speaker 2: 32:50

Lord, we just pray over these homes and over these relationships. That you would edify the women to help them find ways where they can encourage their husbands and their partners on a deeper level so that they can be lifted up, lord. We pray that their tongues would create life-giving relationships, lord, and life-giving marriages, lord. We pray that any kind of scenario or any kind of attitude or heart condition that would cause them to speak death over a situation, I pray that you would just remedy it right now. You would just release it out of their relationship, you would buy in and loose it all from their minds and from their heart condition, lord, that they would just take these episodes and they would just really cultivate a personality that would just love and truly just see their partners as teammates and helpers and lovers and friends. And Father God, I just keep all of that inside them and I just lift them all up to you right now. In the name of Jesus, amen.

Speaker 1: 33:50

Amen, amen. Be on the lookout for that update to the playbook next month.

Speaker 2: 33:54

Make sure you sign up to receive the free playbook. You get all the links in the description and it's a totally free download that updates almost every single month.

Speaker 1: 34:03

Thank you for being here. Thanks for being part of the journey. We love doing life together with you guys.

Speaker 2: 34:07

Make sure to like, share, subscribe. If you're on YouTube, give us those five stars if you're on Spotify or iTunes or any other listening platform, and it's never too soon to love by faith. Aw, yes, that's a good way to end it. We hope to see you guys again next week. Take care.

Speaker 1: 34:24

Bye-bye.

Speaker 2: 34:24

Bye, that was great. Are you going to make that handout, or you want me to make that?

Speaker 1: 34:36

I'm going to give you the table and the chart and I think you're going to make it look pretty. I don't think that you have to spend three hours on it. My goal is to give you the table and the chart and I think you're going to make it look pretty. I don't think that you have to spend three hours on it. My goal is to give it to you to where you can put like a half hour of polish on it. Okay, Maybe.

Speaker 2: 34:53

Yeah, we'll see.

Speaker 1: 34:54

The hard part is you don't like my writing, so you're always like dude. You got to say this.

Speaker 2: 34:59

You got to say that. I don't say that. Do I say that?

Speaker 1: 35:01

I've only submitted so few things to you for writing, yeah, but when I have submitted to your blog, it's been pretty successful saying just saying really, we're gonna talk about that I just we're gonna talk about your one blog post that went viral on my website. It's never too soon.

Speaker 2: 35:21

People are still finding that article that was written in what 2018.

Speaker 1: 35:28

The Christian Guys View to Dating.

Speaker 2: 35:29

Yeah, nice, yeah, 2018. Written by Kyle. Your first work let's go See. It was then that I knew 2018.

Speaker 1: 35:38

It took you five years of marriage. It took you five years to realize you could write more. Get out of here, it's never too soon yeah it's never too soon, I see, to love by faith that's nice is that going to be the new clothes you want all the time? No, no, no, I thought it was awesome that came up at the top, just out of nowhere it's great.

Speaker 2: 35:56

Thank you, holy spirit praise the lord beans green Praise the Lord Beans green plant ham hog turkey.

Speaker 1: 36:03

Flam.

Speaker 2: 36:04

I don't know what she says after lamb and ham. It's like hog and I want to say smog, but I know that's not right.

Speaker 1: 36:12

Get me out of here. Thank you for this fine recording today. You name it, you name it, I can't sing. Y'all, don't hold that against me.